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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To my husband

148 replies

Rosebel · 05/04/2023 23:11

I rather suspect I am actually. So this week I've been on holiday, first one this year. I was really looking forward to it.
Monday morning DH is moaning how ill he is and that he probably has Covid. Didn't go to work and asked me to buy a Covid testing kit. I did, even though I don't see the point of testing anymore and it's negative. Twice. So just a cold.
If it was me I'd go in to work on Tuesday but he didn't and has stayed at home, moaning how ill he is.
However that's not why I'm annoyed. DS has been at home but he's going to nursery tomorrow as they're having an Easter treat day. DH said he'd take him in and pick him up. But tonight he started drinking (so obviously not that I'll). I reminded him about driving tomorrow. DH said I can't take him in. I'm ill.
I said It's a cold
DH I still feel shit and I can't take him incase someone from work sees me.
Now given I'm supposed to be on holiday I was really hoping to have a couple of drinks tonight and a lie in tomorrow but obviously l can't do either now.
Okay DH isn't well but it's only a cold. I just carry on with a cold.
Surely he could drop off DS tomorrow? Too late now he's been drinking but should ILTB (lighthearted, sort of).
YABU he's ill leave him to his dressing gown of doom
YANBU it's a cold. He needs to get over it

OP posts:
adultdds · 05/04/2023 23:37

Tbf if he is ill and you are both off you should take him. If you had to be at work he would need to suck it up.

Original poster
Rosebel · 05/04/2023 23:40

If I was working it wouldn't matter because I work at the nursery. I admit I'm just a bit annoyed that my holiday hasn't really worked out like I wanted.
He can't help being ill but it's a cold. As you can tell I don't really do sympathy (nor do I expect any myself when I'm ill).

OP posts:
BritInAus · 06/04/2023 00:02

How much is he drinking to not be able to safely do the nursery run the next morning?

Aquamarine1029 · 06/04/2023 00:06

He must be drinking a lot of fucking alcohol if he couldn't manage to take your child to nursery.

Do you think he's sabotaging your holiday on purpose?

Daftasyoulike · 06/04/2023 00:09

Have you never heard the old saying -

Men get flu
Kids get a cold
Women get over it?

Singularity82 · 06/04/2023 00:19

How much is he drinking?!! I’d have a couple of drinks then drive the next morning, no way over the limit. Unless he’s getting completely smashed, you are being ridiculous.
that being said, he sounds pathetic. I couldn’t bare someone acting so Whiney and pathetic over a cold.
so you are both being unreasonable imo.

DifficultBloodyWoman · 06/04/2023 00:21

You are sooooo unreasonable. He doesn’t just have a cold. He has ManFlu. Don’t you understand that that this might kill him? The world must stop turning and you should go into mourning in anticipation of his tragic, early demise whilst providing full on Florence Nightingale style support.

Burnamer · 06/04/2023 00:24

You child has a treat day in nursery and neither of you can be arsed to take them as you both want to get pissed?
sort your priorities out - you are as bad as each other.

ThanksForYourHelp · 06/04/2023 00:51

Burnamer · 06/04/2023 00:24

You child has a treat day in nursery and neither of you can be arsed to take them as you both want to get pissed?
sort your priorities out - you are as bad as each other.

Yep.

Peachy2005 · 06/04/2023 01:22

One parent should be sober at all times, in case of emergency. Sadly, he’s being a dick so it has to be you. (If it always has to be you then sure, LTB 😉)

Gymnopedie · 06/04/2023 03:08

Do you think he's sabotaging your holiday on purpose?

That's my thought too.

Original poster
Rosebel · 06/04/2023 04:18

Burnamer · 06/04/2023 00:24

You child has a treat day in nursery and neither of you can be arsed to take them as you both want to get pissed?
sort your priorities out - you are as bad as each other.

Butt he is going. I'm taking him, so what do you mean sort your priorities out?
It's not about getting pissed. DH was supposed to take DS to nursery but can't because he's ill. However he's well enough to get pissed.
That's the problem.
And having him round the house moaning he's so ill is fucking irratating.

OP posts:
MiniCooperLover · 06/04/2023 04:23

Sounds like he deliberately wants to sabotage your time off

Sunnysunbun · 06/04/2023 04:46

Drinking so much you aren’t sober enough to take your child to nursery the following day is pretty mad. You both seem very immature. I find relationships like yours really odd.

Divisionoflabour89 · 06/04/2023 04:52

Did you say unequivocally “I was hoping, as it’s my holiday, to relax tonight and have a lie in tomorrow”?

YANBU op. If your dh is fit enough to drink, then he’s fit enough to work, and therefore fit enough to do nursery run.

Don’t understand why “having a drink” in your household means drinking so much that you can’t function in the morning?

StellaLaBella · 06/04/2023 04:59

YANBU. If he is well enough to get too bladdered to drive tomorrow, he is just being a lazy fuck who'd rather get his kip in than you have it.

Yikes!

nomoremerlot · 06/04/2023 05:06

Just how much are you both drinking? To not be able to drive the next morning?

I know you're on holiday, but that's still quite odd to be that drunk?

LuvSmallDogs · 06/04/2023 05:16

I get irritated with my DH being "ill" as well. Only rather than me being on holiday, it's if I'm ill.

I'll have been given antibiotics by a doctor, coughing up pus and sweating so much I stink, and "...ugh I think I'm coming down with something" and then out comes the dressing gown, arse velcroed to the sofa, but never ill enough to go to the dr or stop him doing something he wants...

Babsexxx · 06/04/2023 05:28

He is definitely sabotaging your holiday who on earth can even think about alcohol ill?! I’d tell him straight if you can drink you clearly are absolutely fine!

Isthisexpected · 06/04/2023 05:40

Sounds like he just doesn't want to go to work and therefore wants to ensure no one sees him out and about. The alcohol is irrelevant - and I can imagine feeling well enough to walk to the fridge for a glass of wine but not to get dressed and do the school run.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 06/04/2023 05:41

How much do either of you drink that you can’t do the school run the next day?!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 06/04/2023 05:47

I'd be pissed off. Not that he dowsnt want to get up early and do drop off with a cold - if I had a cold I'd probably feel the same. But that he isnt as ill as he is making out given he is ok to drink a substantial amount

Silverbook · 06/04/2023 06:12

Burnamer · 06/04/2023 00:24

You child has a treat day in nursery and neither of you can be arsed to take them as you both want to get pissed?
sort your priorities out - you are as bad as each other.

This saves my typing out exactly what I think.

PriOn1 · 06/04/2023 06:18

I know he’s probably feeling under the weather, but would he normally stay home for a cold?

I 100% feel your frustration. Holidays are precious and his illness is detracting from your ability to enjoy yours.

Can you afford to go out all day, do something nice by yourself, and leave him a home to snivel alone? I think I’d try.

Original poster
Rosebel · 06/04/2023 06:25

Silverbook · 06/04/2023 06:12

This saves my typing out exactly what I think.

Show quote history

Did you read my OP or reply to this. I am taking DS.
Just to clarify when I said I wanted a couple of drinks then that's what I mean. 2 drinks, malibu with coke. I am really cautious about drinking and driving the next day and I just won't drink at all. I know DH had at least 4 pints last night so obviously won't be able to drive.
It does feel like he wants to spoil my holiday but he'll deny it and say he can't help being ill.
Might text my friend in a bit and suggest going out to breakfast.

OP posts: