Was IBU? Train give up seat for a child situation

[FriendsObsessed]

So I was on the way home today. Busy train, full of commuters.
i managed to get a seat, one of those 3 that are on the side of the carriage and can be flipped up if needed.

An older couple got on with their (I assume) grandchildren.
The women next to me offered her seat to one of the kids. The grandfather came back saying at yes if they could sit together that would be lovely (keeping eye contact with the woman). She was like ‘I can only offer you my seat’. I didn’t move… he sat down with the child on his lap.

someone else got up and offered the seat to the other child. Same thing happened the grandmother sat down with the other child on her knees (kind of)

i tried to just chill (as I always do on the train) but I kept feeling very uncomfortable and sensed a bit of a death stare. The kids were pretty annoying, and weren’t told to just sit and keep kicking other people’s bags, seats and stop complaining. When I got off the train I could hear the grandfather saying, now you sit here finally.

I’m just so annoyed at folks travelling on train with kids expecting that others should move/give up seats for them. AIBU?

ps the children were approx 4 and 6 yo

@NC4785
why??

No, only to you apparently

Actually I don't see why an adult deserves a seat more than a child just because they're an adult. What a load of rubbish. Kids are just lesser humans then?

So kicking other people's bag...not OP or her bag

And he moved around? Sorry but people move...it's not his fault it made OP feel uncomfortable.

I would expect an able bodied 10 year old to stand for an elderly or disabled person sure. And a small child can sit on their adults lap. But if there was a small child (like a 4 year old that OP saw!) I would definitely offer my seat if for some reason they couldn't sit on an adults lap - like if the adult already had a baby and a 1 year old for example. Small children have less balance and get crushed on busy trains because they are below eye level. All these people saying kids should know they're place. Maybe it's YOU who is entitled?? Why exactly is your safety more important than a small child's?

I know you aren't asking me but I do too because kids don't have the same balance or strength as most able bodied adults.
Kids also don't have as much experience riding trains, buses etc at rush time so may not be able to anticipate the movements of the bus/train as well as adults. Also most of the hand straps/rails etc are aimed at adults.
Oh and young kids might get pushed around easier and separated from their adult if more adults barge past them. They are harder to see so get knocked by others and could get serious hurt.

This.

Surely those who 'deserve' seats are the people who are at most risk when not sitting

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea agree with everything you say but some people seem to think just because they are adults they are more important. And it must be true because their mum told them so when they were kids. Guess sit never did them any harm!!

I'd bet that they were kicking OP's bag too as they were next to her.

There's moving and then there's moving deliberately to make someone uncomfortable. Men have been doing for centuries.

You're being deliberately obtuse I suspect.

Other people’s bags. They at no point kicked the op. And he ‘moved around,’ he did not deliberately jostle her.

But I’ll ‘grow up’ and take it back. You didn’t make stuff up, you’re just incapable of normal reading comprehension.

So OP thinks she's more important because she didn't give up her seat to children? Hilarious.

This. All day long.

I'd give up my seat to a small child.

More like you have selective comprehension. OP was sitting next to them so yes, it was her bag that was likely getting kicked.

Maybe you should clarify with OP before having a go at her.

And as OP was there, she has a better idea of why he was moving around to make her feel uncomfortable than you.

But you crack on with the personal insults.

No @Obki not the OP. There was no need for her to give up her seat as the children and the grandparents all had seats. I was referring to all the PP's who suggested that kids should always give up their seats for adults. You know just because they're kids. But I'm pretty sure you knew that.

Ok, on that we are agreed, I don't think children should give up their seats either.

If some people put their child on their lap to free up a seat for someone else, then that's their choice but it shouldn't be expected.

It's not me who is struggling here.

Clearly from the quote history here you were claiming that OP has said the children been kicking her/her bag and tried to prove it by quoting something which didn't say what you thought it said. Now you bet that it did happen. Based on....oh pure speculation!

Also, an older man with a child on his knee moved around in his seat. Someone stop the press.

I disagree. My 5 year old cannot stand for so long. He wants to be cuddled. If you are an able person who can stand up, it is the nice thing to do. You clearly couldn't care less. An alternative for me, when I meet people like you, is to get the child on my lap. But maybe the granny couldn't do this.

Children being "annoying" is irrelevant OP, not sure what you are trying to achieve with that statement. Annoying people shouldn't get a seat?

I didn't say you are struggling, I said I suspect you are being deliberately obtuse.

OP said the kids were being annoying and then that they were kicking other people's bags and that the man was moving around and it felt like he was purposely making her uncomfortable.

It's reasonable to deduce OP's bag was being kicked too.

And I believe the OP over you, you weren't even there.

So an adult needs to get up so you can cuddle your child?

Ridiculous.

I've always given up my seat for seniors disabled etc. Been diagnosed with arthritic hips. I've done my bit until I get a new hip.

I'm with you.

You think she said they kicked other people’s bags but she actually meant they kicked her bag? If they kicked her or her belongings of course that’s unacceptable and she should have probably clarified that. It still does not mean she was expected to give her seat up for a child though.

I give up seats for kids. I'm an able bodied adult so don't see the problem. Kids tire more easily, struggle to stay still, get in people's way, and might have hidden disabilities of their own.

I have 3 kids, my middle and eldest are autistic and eldest also has epilepsy. They can't be at peace, my middle in particular stims almost constantly, and they 100% got on people's nerves when we used public transport but I did what I could to have them seated. I was always so, so grateful to those who gave up seats on the train/bus, especially to my eldest. A seizure is so much easier to manage sitting in a seat than having him hit the floor. Of course, people don't know that just by looking at him and I'd sit on the floor with him if there was no other option. (I drive now to save all that hassle 😅).

I don't see the big deal in giving up your seat for a child, or anyone for that matter, if you think they might need it more than you.