Was IBU? Train give up seat for a child situation

[FriendsObsessed]

So I was on the way home today. Busy train, full of commuters.
i managed to get a seat, one of those 3 that are on the side of the carriage and can be flipped up if needed.

An older couple got on with their (I assume) grandchildren.
The women next to me offered her seat to one of the kids. The grandfather came back saying at yes if they could sit together that would be lovely (keeping eye contact with the woman). She was like ‘I can only offer you my seat’. I didn’t move… he sat down with the child on his lap.

someone else got up and offered the seat to the other child. Same thing happened the grandmother sat down with the other child on her knees (kind of)

i tried to just chill (as I always do on the train) but I kept feeling very uncomfortable and sensed a bit of a death stare. The kids were pretty annoying, and weren’t told to just sit and keep kicking other people’s bags, seats and stop complaining. When I got off the train I could hear the grandfather saying, now you sit here finally.

I’m just so annoyed at folks travelling on train with kids expecting that others should move/give up seats for them. AIBU?

ps the children were approx 4 and 6 yo

I mean there’s also the contradiction of being expected to give seats up for kids running up and down the aisles. Which is it? Do they want your seat or do they want to run up and down?

The more you post OP , the more it seems that the real issue you have is kids on trains, especially packed ,rush hour trains.

Yeah I’d have given up my seat. Children often haven’t got a fully developed sense of balance and in most trains there is nothing sensible for them to hold on to, if they’ve been out all day then they are probably also completely knackered. TBH I also feel for the grandparents in that situation and would want to try to make life a bit easier for them. I’d also hope that setting the example of offering a seat might help them do the same in later life.

Also how can kids run up and down the aisles when there are people standing there?
If it's a packed commuter train then surely, unless the kids are incorporeal, they wouldn't have physically been able to run anywhere...

So at 2? Really that seems quite dangerous.

All those young adults ( sic) were presumably those who had been told that it was their right and privilege to have a seat while adults stood. As you sow…

Clearly that wasn't the point. They didn't want OP to swap, they wanted her to give up her seat for the third child.

That might apply to children under around 4, but in this case I can't see any reason why the 6 year old shouldn't have stood.

What post are you reading? 😂 there was no third child and OP was never asked to give her seat up.

A 6yo's balance isn't as good as an adults. They aren't as strong. They are more likely to fall over and less likely to anticipate the trains movements.

OP do you have kids?

Shroedinger's kids. Simultaneously sitting down while also running up and down in a train so packed there isn't room for a sticker book.

@Rosula i think it depends on the child, but most 6yr olds I know can’t balance as well as an adult on a moving train. It’s partly intrinsic balance but also knowing how things work, like if a train is coming into a station hold on as it might be about to stop suddenly, be careful as it goes around a bend etc. They can’t hold onto things as well as adults either (all the pulleys, bars, handles etc for standing passengers are too far away for most 6 yr olds’ arms).

Give up my seat for someone else's brat who has more energy than I've had in years?

Fuck that shit.

And now we start with the name calling...

No one asked you to. They didn't ask OP either.

Yanbu!
Sick of adults asking/death-staring other adults to give seats to children.
They should be taught that it appropriate for them to stand and to actively offer their seats to those less able.

How is it name calling? Brat means 'a child, typically one that is badly behaved.'

OP has described brattish behaviour by the child in her posts.

Ergo, brat is correct, not name calling.

I didn't say they asked OP to. But the people made OP feel very uncomfortable for not complying, including jostling her and letting the kids kick her bag. That's shitty behaviour.

That is just beyond ridiculous.
Selfish and instilling a sense of entitlement into your children

No they didn’t. You’re just making things up. OP at no point says the children kicked her or her belongings, and unfortunately sitting close by other people means you might sometimes brush against them. She chose to feel uncomfortable. That’s her problem. They did not say anything to her.

Oh please! Even when kids have a seat, more often than not they are either climbing over the adult with them or exploring the floor of the tube/bus/train, so tired legs is a stupid excuse.
But woe betide anyone reasoning that if the child keeps sitting on your lap or the floor, could I not have the seat...

Yes - this will end with very few people offering a seat to those more in need.

Yes, she did. YOU are lying. See below from OP's posts:

The kids were pretty annoying, and weren’t told to just sit and keep kicking other people’s bags

he kept moving around so much, that felt like he was purposely making me uncomfortable.

Grow up and stop accusing people of making things up.

Just to point out that some children, like some adults, can have not-always-visible disabilities that interfere with their ability to stand safely in a moving vehicle. I have always had balance and co-ordination difficulties which put me in real danger of falling if the train moves jerkil;and especially when I was younger, this was not always visible and I was sometimes blamed for not giving up my seat when it would have actually put me in danger to do so. I don't think that children should automatically be assumed to need seats just because they are children, but they also shouldn't be assumed to be capable of standing just because they are children. And in general, parents will know their children's abilities better than strangers will.

Allowing children to run about in the aisles is another matter, and should definitely not be permitted.