DH gave our two year old chilli coated peanuts whilst I was at work

[Staffielove23]

I wouldn’t dream of giving her a whole peanut. I asked him why, and he said he was sat with her and she was chewing properly. Aibu to think that’s really risky regardless?

You can't fully supervise how a child chews and swallows. That how children end up dead every year, or brain damaged from a lack of oxygen.
Eating grapes, nuts etc isn't an acquired skill over time. Wait until they are five to give whole nuts and they get it straight off. There's always parents, in the news, after a child's death, but it's on them that they didn't follow safety advice.

@JingsMahBucket which societies? I know people from Africa, Asia and India and they are cautious because they see child deaths all around them, from preventable causes. The norm is to use cut/chopped/crushed/made into a paste nuts. But a lot of children across Africa eat pap until three. So a mainly soft diet. Other cultures have their own equivalent.

What difference does it make to the risk of choking if the child is supervised or not? It's important that someone is there to give first aid of course but you don't want to get to that place. Part of the reason things like whole nuts and whole grapes are dangerous is how difficult it is to dislodge the item if it does get stuck, because they are firm and don't disintegrate.

"Peanuts create more bronchial inflammation than any other food. Even small nut fragments can be inhaled past the vocal cords."

https://dontchoke.ubc.ca/what-gets-stuck-where/extraction-cases/case/peanut-fragments-in-bronchus/

MN is wild. People will argue black is white.

Of course a peanut is a choking hazard for a just turned 2 yr old.

All the pretend ennui in the previous answers " oh but what is your concern exactly ?" doesn't stop nuts being a sort of 101 basic to avoid as a choking risk.

And I only know that because it's trotted out on the NHS website,from the health visitors and other advice sources, endlessly .I haven't actually seen a small child's trachea. I take it at face value.

I wouldn't bother being annoyed with her Dad . Just point it out. Perhaps he's like this lot on here and hasn't caught up.

The chilli bit is a small win though!

Awwww bless. Is this your first?

Instead of never giving your child risky food, teach them how to eat them properly and safely. You never know when they might come into contact with a choking hazard and you aren’t there to see.

I've given all my children nuts from around age 2, youngest was around 18 months. He wanted to try some of mine , made sure he was sat down nicely and I let him eat some.

@whatisupwiththis @Ponoka7 yes, I'm from several of those societies. They aren't hovering over their children at 5 years old watching them chew a peanut FFS. Yes, I can understand earlier like little babies or toddlers but not 5 year olds. They also teach their children how to chew the food properly because it's a major part of their diet. It's passed down culturally.

@fyn THANK YOU!

How can you be "from" "several societies"?

So much wilful ignorance and survivor bias on this thread

Our DD had peanuts from around 3 I think, but we used to break them in half - I didn't realise this wasn't recommended!

Wait until they are five to give whole nuts and they get it straight off.

Turning 5 doesn't magically give them an ability to eat properly.

They're not going to choke if they're encouraged to chew.

The choking hazard is them accidentally swallowing or inhaling - not them not chewing properly.

Not magically on their fifth birthday. Do you accept that something may change between the ages of 2 and 5?

All those people saying it's ok to give choking hazard foods, are you CERTAIN you could remove a nut deep in a child's trachea within four minutes?

@whatisupwiththis of course it will. But things change between 1 and 2 and 2 and 3 etc etc.

I think before you let dh parent his own child again you need to put the hospital, the air ambulance, NASA and God on standby...I mean imagine a grown man deciding to allow his child to eat a peanut. The monster.

It's a risk. That's it.

My kids can all eat peanuts, grapes boiled sweets etc. I didn't have to train them. But I didn't take the risk when they were little.

But neither was I precious or hovering over them. We're hardly talking whole food groups here.

But crack on with the "over protective" shpiel.

Omg choking hazard, that would set my alarm bells off.

To be fair OP I think this thread shows neither of you are necessarily wrong, you just have different viewpoints.

Just have a conversation about your concerns and it sounds like he'd respect that.

If one of you is uncomfortable, that should be respected and it's best to air on the side of caution.

Personally I am of the opinion that supervised introduction as early as possible for most things is best. But it's up to you. My 19 month old can try a few nuts. I wouldn't give him a bowl of them to eat while I was distracted and folding the washing though! However, I think it's important that he learns the skill. A bit like people take their babies swimming from a young age. We've also not installed a stair gate and have taught the toddler to always crawl down backwards. I'd rather he know how to do these things than be at even higher risk if he accidentally comes across them without us.

This. I knew I child who choked to death: well supervised at the time, several first aid trained people in room and a nurse there within 3mins. Still none of them where able to stop it happening or remove it.

My mum goes on and on about nuts being a choking hazard but then will happily give the kids chopped up sausages which I feel are worse! Were they those coated ones as I feel like they're probably more a risk, but if they're normal chilli peanuts and they're in half then I wouldn't be too worried. I wouldn't give her a bowl and leave her though. Obvz.