The neighbours are going to hate us

[Potentialneighboursfromhell]

I've just signed for the keys for a flat for me and my DC, it's on the first floor of a small block. There are 8 or 10 flats in total.

I wasn't in a position to hang about hoping something on a ground level came up.

I have 3 DC one of which has autism and adhd.

I came to the new property today to drop off a few bits ahead of the big move next week. The kids were excited, running around.

A downstairs neighbour came up to see if everything was OK and what all the noise was (it was the kids running around - this being the first time they had seen the place and they were excited)

I explained and apologised, the neighbour was fine but I got a sinking feeling as soon as I closed the door. My children are going to drive that poor man and his family mad. DS especially. He shouts, screams, bangs - due to his disability. It can't be controlled not for want of trying. Lord knows it drives me round the bend too.

I've been treading on egg shells the rest of the time we've been here. Telling the kids to "shh" and be quiet, take your shoes off so they don't hear you walking about, lower your voices, don't do this don't do that.

It's going to be hell for everybody. Kids included.

I've made a mistake haven't I? What the hell am I going to do now 😔

You know that even with carpet she will still be complaining. And you will have spent money that you don’t really have. I really wouldn’t bother. Be as considerate as you would to anyone, but don’t go above and beyond. This woman who wants quiet is playing loud music and smoking cannabis under your window. Don’t waste your money trying to appease her… you never will.

I don't think anything I can provide him will be sufficient for his needs. Apartment or not. He is completely uncontrollable and always has been. He's exactly the same at school. Today is day two of destructive meltdowns, he has smashed photo frames, kicked screamed and banged, thrown things. I can't cope with any more of this. I'm going to step away from the thread now for my own good as I've been getting too absorbed in my constant worrying about the neighbours. Thanks again all x

You will have many unhappy years ahead in that flat I’d guess

I’d be doing all I could to move if I were you.

All the best OP. I'm in a somewhat similar situation and I've had some very dark thoughts over the past few weeks. People don't get it. X

Do you think getting a ring doorbell would be a good idea?

I've ordered a ring doorbell. It has gone beyond repair at this stage anyway, I've reported them to the police.

My DS jumped on his big bean bag whilst I was getting him ready for bed at ten to 8 as he was excited about horse riding the following day.

Half an hour later the neighbour storms up banging on my door with some other unknown person who looked like they take alot more than cannabis, shouting about DS needing discipline and needs to be controlled. For jumping on a bean bag ffs.

Cue another two nights of music blasting until 12.30 - 1.00am in the morning.

People like that can't be reasoned with, I've spoken to the property management company and they've told me to call the police so that's what I've done.

I'm beginning to feel as though its a targeted hate crime at this stage.

I wouldn't be surprised if this flat had become free because of them doing this to the previous tenant too.

OP. If you aren't already, then keep a detailed diary of the noise and harassment from them now.

It certainly makes you wonder doesn't it!

I'm keeping a detailed log and will add every incident to it.

After they came up aggressively I was in two minds whether to write in the report that I don't want the police to speak to them yet as I was worried about it making things worse but with all the music and weed ramping up x 10 it's clear it needs to be handled.

She's training to be a nurse, can you believe that. Unreal.

Antisocial drug addict who targets somebody with a disability. I hope the police report gets back to wherever she's training.

She's really unhinged to the point I think she's looking for an excuse to assault me.

When at the door I said I'm sorry if DS has disturbed your son this evening, before I could say another word she was barking "DONT TALK ABOUT MY KID, DONT TALK ABOUT MY KID"

I had my 18 month old in my arms and she didn't give a single shit about him. Vile person.

What a fucking arsehole. Do not open your door to them again. I'm rooting for you op!!!!

Report her to social services. Report her in any possible way to whoever you can. Her work. The police. Everyone. She's fucking unhinged and sounds dangerous.

And stop apologising to her! Stop communicating with her. Do not open your door to her any more. Tell her to phone the police herself or to report you to HA. THE NEXT TIME SHE KNOCKS SAY I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOU KNOCKING AT MY DOOR AGAIN. and get a ring doorbell.

She's got a kid and she's blasting music til that time. Ugh she's giving me the rage.

Thank you for the support. I wasn't sure whether to come back to the thread as I figured people were sick of reading about it now but I feel really anxious and overwhelmed.

I'm having surgery within the next 8 weeks as informed by my neurosurgeon on Tuesday but if this carries on I dong think I'll make it to then. My BP is through the roof whenever she comes up.

My ring doorbell arrives Saturday according to amazon. I'm just waiting for the council to open and I'm going to call them and make a report about the music and cannabis.

She does it when he's at his grandparents which he often is. Its a massive double standard because she goes batshit if we make any noise at all after 8pm when he's home but thinks it's fine to blast music into the small hours and wake my children. Madness.

Yup. They are gonna hate you
And not sympathise with you

For good reasons.

But you can't live life anxiously everytime you are home. And you cant control your son they way you want either and thats not your fault.

Carpet the place
No shoes in the house
Figure out where the best place is to put your sons bedroom so that he wil cause the least noise pollution to the neighbours below.
And perhaps talk with them before moving in. They might understand things a little more.

Oh another thing, I said to her partner just report any noise to the council and let them deal with it and he said they're not "snitches" so god help me when the police/council do contact them as they're obviously very "street" and don't cooperate with the police.

@SparklyBlackKitten

oh dear. You do realise when a thread is 22 pages long things have moved along a little! She's DONE ALL OF THIS. It's an idea to press that button labelled:
OP posts: SEE ALL
Top right.

Thank you for the support. I wasn't sure whether to come back to the thread as I figured people were sick of reading about it now but I feel really anxious and overwhelmed.

Post whatever and whenever you like. Ignore anything none constructive. If this thread provides an outlet for you, utilise it. And people with more legal knowledge / experience with ASB than me can help too hopefully.

Stop communicating with the pair of them.

I can't believe this woman is training to be a nurse.

Me neither its really shocking.

It's one thing trying to aggravate me but she's got a direct next door neighbour she'll be disturbing with all of this too. I'm amazed they haven't complained unless they're intimidated too.

@Potentialneighboursfromhell have a look on ebay for some large carpet offcuts. You'd be surprised by how cheap they could be. Similarly, ask on Freecycle or FB marketplace. If it helps even for just a few months, surely its a good place to start?

I've actually got foam mats for soundproofing down all over the living room floor now, plus the big rug on top.

Hope it's helping. Sorry you're having to deal with all of this

@Potentialneighboursfromhell, I think you should update your username. The title of neighbours from hell is being better used those nutters who live downstairs from you!

As much as you can, ignore them and they will probably get bored if they get no reaction from you.

I hope so 🤞

I've done the right thing haven't I by reporting them? I think I have, I'm just a bit worried about it making things worse. I don't know much about what type of people they know or associate with and I do wonder if they have some sort of involvement with drugs beyond just smoking weed alot.

What I do know about them doesn't tally with how they come across iykwim. The bloke drives an expensive looking car but only works PT in a supermarket dealing with the online shopping. He said that himself. The woman is basically Vicky Pollard, as chavvy as they come, bolshy and aggressive but is training to be a nurse of all things.

Really weird and unusual people.