My day versus his day

[Spiderplantweb]

My day-
alarm goes off at 7, I get straight up get ready take the dogs out at 7:30, back at 8:30, feed the dogs water, put kettle on, unload the dishwasher, have breakfast. Go upstairs make beds
9:00 start work at my £85k a year job.
12:30 take dogs out, put hoover round and grab lunch.
1:30 get back to work. Pay a few bills and organise shopping delivery.
6:00 he comes home, we take dogs out. I cook dinner load dishwasher, feed dogs, wipe round kitchen.
8:00 we sit down to watch tv

his day

7:00 gets woken up by my alarm, tools over goes back to sleep until 8:15.
8:30 gets out of bed, gets ready to go to work
9:00 leaves house for £28k a year job he loves
17:00 comes back home and sits down to watch tv until I am ready to go out.
1800 accompanies me on the evening walk and then watches tv until dinner is ready
1930 joins me for dinner and then goes back to watch TV.

Im an absolute bloody mug aren’t I.

Honestly, I don't think you'll find much sympathy on here. Frankly, your typical day sounds amazing and pretty cruisy. Admittedly, it sounds like he doesn't do much (so tell him to pull finger), but it doesn't sound like you are run off your feet either.
Try juggling kids, school, full time jobs, housework, running household etc like I'm sure a lot of us on here are 🙄

He is part time already 🤣

In all seriousness though there are so many moaning posts from
women about this stuff and I always think: you created this monster!!! Start having better boundaries, stick up for what’s right and what you believe in. If he wanted the dogs, he walks the dogs. If he wants to eat, he cooks & he cleans. Simple! These
men were created; firstly by their mothers, then enabled by us lot. God knows we don’t want another generation of Boomer men who can’t do anything without their wives’ help.

I imagine you’ve mentioned the difference in your salaries because you are completely financing him and his lifestyle. And when you end it might seem he has been badly let down by you to anyone looking in from the outside.
You’ve seen a solicitor and you know he can’t take the dogs. So now you need the courage to call time on this. It’s not ok to be this unhappy, frustrated and unseen in a relationship.
I hope you have a couple of good friends who know the truth and who will be there for you.
It doesn’t sound like you have much to lose - other than time. So you need to get on with it! Good luck with moving forward. Claim the life you want.

Here’s my day today (just for jokes). All night with baby, 5 am wake up. Kettle. Breakfast, change nappy, get dressed, change poo nappy. Change baby pjs, brush part of hair, clean up everything everywhere all at once, reassure husband, feed dog, walk dog, baby nap, do work one hour before baby wakes up, get pigeon out of chimney, go to shop, make lunch, baby 2nd nap, 1.5 hour work, pay bills, laundry, try and sell things on Vinted. Hoover bird shit off floor. Walk baby in pram to enable 3rd nap. Make dinner, administer calpol, baby bath, pump, disinfect all things, feed dog, administer to dp, call friends and listen to their woes, tidy, do dishes, 10 pm baby feed. Wake up 1am and so the cycle repeats.

YANBU OP. The 'planning to go PT'
Would be the straw that broke the camels back for me, especially as he's happy to leave the lions share of housework to you. Sounds like he thinks he'll have more leisure time and wouldn't have to take in more of the load.

If you've spoken to him and he's still not changed then you have your answer.

As for your friends, the ones who matter will understand.

the thing that stood out most to me in this post: clean bird shit off floor.
Why was there bird shit on your floor? 😂

Because of the Pigeon in the chimney but honestly there’s always some kind of shit on the floor. Living with a baby a man and a dog. I give up

I absolutely get it OP. Earning 80% of the money and doing 100% of the cooking and cleaning while the partner who earns 20% of the money and does fuck all around the house chats about going part time? It’s ridiculous. And in my experience it’s becoming more and more common. There’s a certain kind of man who’s more than happy for his wife/girlfriend to earn all the money and do all the cooking/cleaning/childcare.

You’re absolutely doing the right thing by calling time on this before having children. These kinds of situations get even worse when children are in the mix, there are regular MN threads about it. Where the OH doesn’t work or works very little but still wants to send the children to nursery/holiday camps because god forbid he should have to do any childcare!

I have three kids under 10 and two dogs; I vacuume our downstairs daily out of necessity (at least), generally twice a day! Upstairs/down the stairs every other day…….. and yes, I do work every day (although I don’t earn anywhere near £85k a year 🤣🤣).

Oh my word, both of you have a great deal! Am dog walking sounds a bit unfair, should take turns, but wfh gives more opportunity to prepare food etc, when in a public dealing face to face job can't do this obv. Of you plan to have kids you will back on this and realise how easy your lives were, just as I did, whole new ball game! X

Voted yabu for being so annoyed at having to walk and feed your own dog. Basically you are saying he doesn't help with housework. That would be annoying yes.

Justbefair why is doing all of the housework whilst the other does nothing a "great deal"? Or is this just a "race to the bottom/it's not good but it can always be worse" post that suggests the OP should accept doing everything around the house because in another irrelevant scenario she could be doing more?

Well he could cook dinner if he’s in by 5. You’re too soft

@BustyLaRoux the saying 'happy wife, happy life' is so true yet so many men don't get it and would rather live in a house with an exhausted, resentful woman than pull their weight. Nowt as queer as folk I suppose but again, glad you don't have to live like that anymore and I too would have a chuckle at exdh daring to complain how hard he has it 😁

I need more info. Who cleans the bathroom? Who cuts the grass and takes the bins out?

You need to give him a list of chores to do. I know that creates another job for you, it’s a one off, but once he has his list, they’re his jobs to lessen your burden.

She does all of those things and she’s already tried this, as well as other tactics and he takes no notice.

Damn straight it would work if the man was also doing 100% of the housework , while wife got some sleep and watched tv.

Way to miss the whole point of the OP's posts.

Why do so many people not read or understand the OP's posts?

Bin him off-he sounds like a man-child/slob, you sound like a grown-up who realised if they want something, they have to work for it, either working for a salary or working to have a clean house and looked after dogs- I think you sound like a catch.... him,not so much!

I'm confused, you're struggling because you awake at 7am, poor you, you put the kettle on and empty the dishwasher, oh no! What a 3rd world tragedy you live in. Get a grip

Why on earth is not justification for dumping her partner that he does fuck all and expects her to be his servant? This post is bizarre.

No, OP sounds as if she looks down on his for being an incredibly lazy cocklodger. She has ample justification for doing so.

You haven't read OP's posts, have you? This situation has gone way beyond having a good chat..

Why bother to post when you clearly haven't read all OP's posts? She's told him to pull his finger out, it's had zero effect. Is she supposed to put up with being treated like a servant just because she hasn't got children? If you really believe that, your standards are very low.