My day versus his day

[Spiderplantweb]

My day-
alarm goes off at 7, I get straight up get ready take the dogs out at 7:30, back at 8:30, feed the dogs water, put kettle on, unload the dishwasher, have breakfast. Go upstairs make beds
9:00 start work at my £85k a year job.
12:30 take dogs out, put hoover round and grab lunch.
1:30 get back to work. Pay a few bills and organise shopping delivery.
6:00 he comes home, we take dogs out. I cook dinner load dishwasher, feed dogs, wipe round kitchen.
8:00 we sit down to watch tv

his day

7:00 gets woken up by my alarm, tools over goes back to sleep until 8:15.
8:30 gets out of bed, gets ready to go to work
9:00 leaves house for £28k a year job he loves
17:00 comes back home and sits down to watch tv until I am ready to go out.
1800 accompanies me on the evening walk and then watches tv until dinner is ready
1930 joins me for dinner and then goes back to watch TV.

Im an absolute bloody mug aren’t I.

9-6 with an hour off for lunch for £85k doesn’t sound that bad to me. Most of your “chores” are dog-related. Just don’t choose to have a dog and those tasks wouldn’t exist. However, if you don’t like your partner then you don’t need to dress yourself up as hard done by to justify separating.

Wowsers people have been really harsh on this thread. Glad you have decided to separate OP, your OH sounds selfish. Good luck.

I wonder who does all the other chores? Maybe it’s the magic fairies! You know all the cleaning, that’s the whole house - bathrooms, kitchen etc. All the washing, ironing, cooking. So we’re saying it’s fine the man does 0% of all of that and the OP does 100%. Shameful to suggest it!

Correct

but not in the OP

"Im an absolute bloody mug aren’t I" in the OP is an indication she's finally realised she's worth more.

YANBU if you’re not in love with him and he’s a lazy arse then yes, divorce him and move on.
But YA a bit U to not expect some of the responses here really when compared to about 90% of the population your day sounds like an absolute breeze and we have to assume that you weren’t forced to get dogs! Yes a divorce is going to be nasty but think about people with caring responsibilities, children with SEN, no home, not enough money to feed their kids and don’t forget to try to keep things in proportion.

Yes but not that she’s put wheels in motion for divorce / house sale

So just to get this straight. Because I can’t believe what I read on here sometimes.

Because the OP doesn’t have children, or SEN children, or caring responsibilities and money worries - then she, as a woman, has to do 100% of the household chores , despite working the same hours as her partner. He gets to lie in then watch tv after work for over an hour. She cooks, cleans, does all the washing. But this is fair? How so? Is it 1950? Only then the OP wouldn’t be doing a full time job along with all the household chores. Unbelievable sexist shit. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Whether they have no children or 20 children she is not her partners dogsbody and housemaid. If the only household chore they have between them all day every day is putting the kettle on in the morning and servants did the rest, there si still no reason she should always be the one to fill the kettle and flick it on. Relationships should go two ways and this one only goes one way.

When do you shower ? I couldn’t get up and go to work for the day without being clean

Presumably between 7 (when she gets up) and 7.30 (when she takes the dogs out). Or maybe in the evening?

Your right to want to split up him wanting to go part time would finish me off personally

Given the OP lists putting on the kettle as one of her morning jobs

and then an evening job is wiping down the kitchen surfaces

I would assume the OP doesn’t shower!

I think the kettle thing is meant to signify that she makes him a drink every morning too whilst he does nothing. He just doesn't contribute.

In no follow up posts does she even imply she’s doing that.

and what about “making the bed”. The ONE bed. That apparently he’s supposedly still in.

As you're up can you get me some as well, please?

God there are some depressing people on this thread. Desperately trying to pick holes in the OPs post to try to justify what? Her staying with a man she doesn't love? Her having to keep being this guys maid? You don't have to be with anyone in this life- particularly not one who contributes so little. So she doesn't do as much as some of the martyrs on here, the point is in their 'partnerships' he does fuck all.

She only makes one bed in the morning? So? He does nothing. What gives him that right? What gives him the right to have his dinner cooked every night? A lot of people here really need to give their heads a bit of a wobble.

....I think there's also a lot of men commenting, trying to convince all of us that this is perfectly acceptable, desperately trying to swing the same deal.

well exactly

she doesn’t need to be with him

nothing is keeping her with him aside from her worries about how her friends will perceive here 😐

MN is batshit sometimes! Leave him OP, your true friends will stick with you, and new friends can be a refreshing change of pace. He will learn to live within his means or maybe hell have to pursue a higher paying job (as do many people) in order to live the way he prefers. Think of how lovely it will be to only clean up for yourself and not always be responsible for someone else's dinner! For what it's worth it sounds like you've tried very hard to be heard and make your relationship more equal, I'm very sorry it didn't work out and I know ending the relationship will still be painful. Best of luck to you!
PS don't give up on your dream of having a child, it sounds like you have the means to go it alone, and if it's your dream you can make it work.

I said I think that's what happening.

And he could make the bed after he gets up, but doesn't.

The OP was trying to show that the housework tasks are done alongside normal things we do for ourselves each morning, instead of the way her partner just lies in bed and wouldn't think to do any of the household work.

She's also clearly said she's not listing everything she does, more pointing out the incidental things ON TOP of normal house work, like topping up a water bowl, that wouldn't even occur to him.

Ending a relationship can be shit, even without money, kids or other obstacles. There's no need to pick holes in her just cos she could have it worse.

Well he’s still in when she’s making it by the sounds of it! 😂

Ending a relationship can be shit’
she doesn’t seem to like the man let alone love him

i have read all the OP’s posts and the recurring theme is that the only real thing stopping her is her concern that goes she’s perceived by friends

Please don't worry about what your friends may or may not think OP. Real friends will support you, and in any event, your relationship is nobody else's business - and true friends understand this.

I doubt your OH will be languishing on a much reduced income for long. He'll either be jolted into pulling his socks up and working hard to earn more, or (more likely) find another woman that he can leech off.

Either way, you will be free. Best of luck.

He will be single, no children, no dogs and on £28k a year.

He will be fine!