Page 19 | My day versus his day

Spiderplantweb · 2023-04-05T09:42:19+00:00

My day- alarm goes off at 7, I get straight up get ready take the dogs out at 7:30, back at 8:30, feed the dogs water, put kettle on, unload the dishwasher, have breakfast. Go upstairs make beds 9:00 start work at my £85k a year job. 12:30 take dogs out, put hoover round and grab lunch. 1:30 get back to work. Pay a few bills and organise shopping delivery. 6:00 he comes home, we take dogs out. I cook dinner load dishwasher, feed dogs, wipe round kitchen. 8:00 we sit down to watch tv his day 7:00 gets woken up by my alarm, tools over goes back to sleep until 8:15. 8:30 gets out of bed, gets ready to go to work 9:00 leaves house for £28k a year job he loves 17:00 comes back home and sits down to watch tv until I am ready to go out. 1800 accompanies me on the evening walk and then watches tv until dinner is ready 1930 joins me for dinner and then goes back to watch TV. Im an absolute bloody mug aren’t I.

Naunet · 05/04/2023 16:30

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 05/04/2023 16:22

OP I have no idea WTAF has happened here, we should change AIBU to Handmaiden Central. Probably people just interested in your salary. But anyway, thank god you have put things in motion to leave. Next time you want to post about it try Relationships or Divorce/Separation thread. And well done for walking the walk - get rid.

😂 so true

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:34

Naunet · 05/04/2023 16:29

Well what the fuck has he got to complain about? He just goes to work and watches tv, doesn’t even have to cook his own dinner. Why should OP have to do it for him?

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It's possible he has a lot to complain about and doesn't, we don't know that bit.

Looking at the wages alone doesn't tell us much, this could easily be an overworked care/public sector worker/whatever who is exhausted and stressed out to the point of tears, coming home to someone with an office job at a paper company, who spends all day resenting them and spinning up a hard life out of things like "feeding the dog water" and "paying bills every day".

WarmButteryCrumpets · 05/04/2023 16:34

The fact he was talking about going part time - to be funded by you - tells you everything you need to know.

Naunet · 05/04/2023 16:36

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:34

It's possible he has a lot to complain about and doesn't, we don't know that bit.

Looking at the wages alone doesn't tell us much, this could easily be an overworked care/public sector worker/whatever who is exhausted and stressed out to the point of tears, coming home to someone with an office job at a paper company, who spends all day resenting them and spinning up a hard life out of things like "feeding the dog water" and "paying bills every day".

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Working 9-5?, Give over, look at all the excuses you’re making for him not to have to pull his own weight, but OP is lucky apparently to get to pick up after him! Dear god…

Mirabai · 05/04/2023 16:37

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:34

It's possible he has a lot to complain about and doesn't, we don't know that bit.

Looking at the wages alone doesn't tell us much, this could easily be an overworked care/public sector worker/whatever who is exhausted and stressed out to the point of tears, coming home to someone with an office job at a paper company, who spends all day resenting them and spinning up a hard life out of things like "feeding the dog water" and "paying bills every day".

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If you want to invent narratives, why not start your own fiction thread?

Why a public sector worker would be absolved of adult chores and paying his way is as much a mystery as the rest of the handmaiden crap.

jemimapuddlepluck · 05/04/2023 16:37

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:34

It's possible he has a lot to complain about and doesn't, we don't know that bit.

Looking at the wages alone doesn't tell us much, this could easily be an overworked care/public sector worker/whatever who is exhausted and stressed out to the point of tears, coming home to someone with an office job at a paper company, who spends all day resenting them and spinning up a hard life out of things like "feeding the dog water" and "paying bills every day".

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See? Mental gymnastics to excuse him, the poor man.

TedMullins · 05/04/2023 16:46

I can’t believe anyone is saying you’re being unreasonable. My partner and I don’t live together but he stays here 3-4 nights a week and when he’s here we share dog care, cooking and chores 50/50 (in fact I’d say he does more as he has more free time due to the nature of his job).

kick this lazy arse out. If he doesn’t like the drop in lifestyle he can stop being so lazy and get himself a better job.

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:47

jemimapuddlepluck · 05/04/2023 16:37

See? Mental gymnastics to excuse him, the poor man.

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You can see the words "for all we know" in my post, right?

I have never heard anyone who is really being taken for a mug list giving water to the dog as a checklist item in their hellish life of servitude. It's actually the sort of thing I would expect a lazy man to say, oblivious to the fact this is not going to tug the heart strings.

BlueHeelers · 05/04/2023 16:47

So basically he does NO housework and contributes about a quarter of your family income, working shorter hours than you.

Cocklodger. I hope you have significant savings and no children with him and are not married.

Stop cooking supper for him.

Naunet · 05/04/2023 16:48

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:47

You can see the words "for all we know" in my post, right?

I have never heard anyone who is really being taken for a mug list giving water to the dog as a checklist item in their hellish life of servitude. It's actually the sort of thing I would expect a lazy man to say, oblivious to the fact this is not going to tug the heart strings.

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So if you don’t think she’s being taken for a mug, can you explain why you think it’s reasonable that he does no housework and she does it all?

cassiatwenty · 05/04/2023 16:51

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:47

You can see the words "for all we know" in my post, right?

I have never heard anyone who is really being taken for a mug list giving water to the dog as a checklist item in their hellish life of servitude. It's actually the sort of thing I would expect a lazy man to say, oblivious to the fact this is not going to tug the heart strings.

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👋

cassiatwenty · 05/04/2023 16:52

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:34

It's possible he has a lot to complain about and doesn't, we don't know that bit.

Looking at the wages alone doesn't tell us much, this could easily be an overworked care/public sector worker/whatever who is exhausted and stressed out to the point of tears, coming home to someone with an office job at a paper company, who spends all day resenting them and spinning up a hard life out of things like "feeding the dog water" and "paying bills every day".

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I'm just wondering if he's an Influencer on IG or summat, I already asked but nothing 😥

Mirabai · 05/04/2023 16:54

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:47

You can see the words "for all we know" in my post, right?

I have never heard anyone who is really being taken for a mug list giving water to the dog as a checklist item in their hellish life of servitude. It's actually the sort of thing I would expect a lazy man to say, oblivious to the fact this is not going to tug the heart strings.

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You fuck him then, OP clearly doesn’t want to.

She simply listed her chores for the day is all.

Eyerollcentral · 05/04/2023 16:54

Mirabai · 05/04/2023 16:04

@Eyerollcentral You don’t seem to have that much to complain about.

Really? A man who does fuck all around the house, is bankrolled by OP, who wants to go part time on her dollar, whom she can’t face having kids with as she already does everything - is not much to complain of?

The expectations of women on this forum are barrel-scraping.

If she doesn’t love him, dump him. I’m not getting in to the whole I pay this he pays that and he doesn’t make the bed. He has never done any of this. The OP chose to take him on knowing how he was. Whenever on these threads I point out that his failings were obvious from the start I’m shouted down that actually no they weren’t… these two have no children. She says she doesn’t love him. There’s no need for a steward’s enquiry. I don’t love you any more is reason enough to break up.
As for standards I wouldn’t have touched a man like this with a forty foot barge pole when I was single and I didn’t settle for one like this either. He hasn’t changed, it’s just not enough for the OP any more. It would never have been enough for me. And no she doesn’t have much to complain about, her life sounds like a walk in the park for most people.

MumofSpud · 05/04/2023 16:56

If I fed my dog water he wouldn't be happy!

cassiatwenty · 05/04/2023 16:57

@Eyerollcentral

And no she doesn’t have much to complain about, her life sounds like a walk in the park for most people.

True.

ifthe · 05/04/2023 16:58

@Claridges12 I think the problem is a huge difference in energy levels, OP is out and about doing something- so sees her partner sitting around as not doing anything. They are both doing their own thing, and what they enjoy but the OP sees hers as having a purpose. OP buzzes from task to task whilst her DH stays in bed.

Eyerollcentral · 05/04/2023 16:58

cassiatwenty · 05/04/2023 16:57

@Eyerollcentral

And no she doesn’t have much to complain about, her life sounds like a walk in the park for most people.

True.

My only caveat is that even with a seemingly good life you can be unhappy. The things you thought might make you happy might not. It’s ok to say this is not making me happy and to change it all or a bit.

cassiatwenty · 05/04/2023 16:59

Eyerollcentral · 05/04/2023 16:58

My only caveat is that even with a seemingly good life you can be unhappy. The things you thought might make you happy might not. It’s ok to say this is not making me happy and to change it all or a bit.

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I agree with you 🙂

ASixPackAndTheRadio · 05/04/2023 17:01

Eyerollcentral · 05/04/2023 16:58

My only caveat is that even with a seemingly good life you can be unhappy. The things you thought might make you happy might not. It’s ok to say this is not making me happy and to change it all or a bit.

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Yep. She doesn’t love him, she’s ending things. There’s nothing left to discuss. 🤷🏻‍♀️

jemimapuddlepluck · 05/04/2023 17:03

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 16:47

You can see the words "for all we know" in my post, right?

I have never heard anyone who is really being taken for a mug list giving water to the dog as a checklist item in their hellish life of servitude. It's actually the sort of thing I would expect a lazy man to say, oblivious to the fact this is not going to tug the heart strings.

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Right, so we know he does nothing bar work. Do you think that that's ok? If so, why?

Naunet · 05/04/2023 17:05

Eyerollcentral · 05/04/2023 16:54

If she doesn’t love him, dump him. I’m not getting in to the whole I pay this he pays that and he doesn’t make the bed. He has never done any of this. The OP chose to take him on knowing how he was. Whenever on these threads I point out that his failings were obvious from the start I’m shouted down that actually no they weren’t… these two have no children. She says she doesn’t love him. There’s no need for a steward’s enquiry. I don’t love you any more is reason enough to break up.
As for standards I wouldn’t have touched a man like this with a forty foot barge pole when I was single and I didn’t settle for one like this either. He hasn’t changed, it’s just not enough for the OP any more. It would never have been enough for me. And no she doesn’t have much to complain about, her life sounds like a walk in the park for most people.

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So high earning women who don’t have children, aren’t allowed to post here on AIBU (the forum with THE MOST first world, luxury problems posted daily) because their problems can’t be anywhere near as important as the problems women like you have?

Theres some real reverse snobbery on this thread.

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 17:05

Naunet · 05/04/2023 16:48

So if you don’t think she’s being taken for a mug, can you explain why you think it’s reasonable that he does no housework and she does it all?

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It wouldn't be reasonable as described.

It's little things, really, like someone who is actually doing all of the housework doesn't have to pad the list with bullshit items like giving dogs water because they know that for instance the laundry exists.

Mirabai · 05/04/2023 17:06

Eyerollcentral · 05/04/2023 16:58

My only caveat is that even with a seemingly good life you can be unhappy. The things you thought might make you happy might not. It’s ok to say this is not making me happy and to change it all or a bit.

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What’s making her unhappy is a shit partner. The rest of it is good.

Naunet · 05/04/2023 17:07

ConcordeOoter · 05/04/2023 17:05

It wouldn't be reasonable as described.

It's little things, really, like someone who is actually doing all of the housework doesn't have to pad the list with bullshit items like giving dogs water because they know that for instance the laundry exists.

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So she is perfectly justified in not wanting to skivvy for her partner then? So she is being taken for a mug after all!
Why didn’t you just say that rather than making bitchy comments about how wonderful her life is, without commenting on how much more wonderful HIS life is?