Threatening police, have I done anything wrong?

[Salemtrust]

I've taken Dd and some of her friends(10-12) away for the week. Unfortunately I've had family emergency come up today and am going to have to leave tomorrow to help. Dsd (23) and her bf have offered to come and take over. The girls all seen more than happy with this, they have an event on Thursday which was the whole reason for the trip and want to stay.
I've called the other parents to let them know and one parent was furious and said that they don't want someone else looking after their child and that I need to either stay or bring their child home.
I've said they are welcome to come and get their child (4hour drive) and I'm happy to arrange and pay to send her home on public transport but I can't stay or bring her home so if not she will come home Friday as planned. They are now threatening to call the police saying its kidnap and endangerment and I've changed the terms they agreed to send their child on.
Have I do a anything wrong? Am I being unreasonable?

the other parent sounds a bit batshit. they are fine for their child to go away for a week but cant be bothered to pic her up so threaten you with wild accusations. Has this parent possibly booked a holiday being child free and not told you. Its not the actions of a sane person.

Did they genuinely say they were going to call the police for kidnapping or was it just an offhand comment about the situation as they vented their frustration?

You don’t say what emergency is. Did you tell them? I’d be more sympathetic if I knew the reason someone was changing plans like this. Also it’s not such an emergency that you had to leave right away so can’t you fit in time to drop the child off?

Yes. I am very careful about who I leave in charge of my children. I would be furious that someone had decided to just pass that responsibility on to someone else I’d never met. I would be coming to get my child and never trusting OP with them ever again.

What is the 'emergency' OP?

you’re both being a bit unreasonable!

Yeah, I think it is but I'm surprised by the number of posters saying this wouldn't bother them.

This! I’d be trying to help the person experiencing the family emergency!

If it helps, OP, the police would have v little interest in this.

What a ridiculous,over the top comment!.

Honestly, if I've entrusted my 10 year old child with you, I would expect you to bring them home should an emergency arise. I would not be happy to have someone else who I did not know or trust take over the care.

Clearly, I would be more understanding of the family emergency and if able offer to come collect the children.
Your offer of paying for public transport for said child to travel alone 4 hours from home is ridiculous and I would question your parenting values.

Lots of people on this thread do

But would you be happy for her to send one of your 10-12 year olds back on a 4 hour journey alone by public transport. Don't be bloody ridiculous, yabu. Why should they make a four hour journey, you were the one who took them away, I can understand if one of theirr kids were ill but this is on you.

I'd be mightily pissed off at you. I'm fortunate enough to be able to drive and have funds for petrol, so would be driving up to collect her tonight.

They are being ridiculous threatening police.

I hope the emergency isn't too worrying and that everyone is OK.

What was the family emergency??
Can you not go back to continue what you said youd do and been entrusted to do?

You might be happy to leave your children in the car of a pair of 23 year olds you’ve never met. I am not and would not appreciate that decision being made for me. It’s not kidnapping, not a police matter. But I would never again trust OP in charge of my child.

I think it is hirsuitism, particularly affecting her hands. It can be very bothersome.

I think it depends on what the emergency is. Have you told the parents exactly why you need to leave?

YABU. I don’t drive and would not be able to make the journey. I wouldn’t be happy about you plonking them on public transport to make their own way back either nor would I be happy about them being looked after by total strangers. I wouldn’t call the police but I’d be very annoyed with you and would request you brought them back yourself. I don’t know what this out of the blue emergency is but you should have had a Plan B if you took them on your own.

Honestly, I think you probably should take the girls all home tonight, then you can go to your family emergency tomorrow as planned. I wouldn't blame you, but I wouldn't want my child to be looked after by anybody else, nor would I want her travelling on public transport. I'd be there in a flash tonight, but if for whatever reason that's not possible, then you should take them home tonight, no matter how late.

@TripTrappingOverMyBridge

😂😂😂

The offer of sending them back on public transport alone, is frankly, ridiculous, no way would I let my 12yo ds travel that distance alone on public transport, and it’s even more dangerous for a young girl.

If I was the parent of that young girl I’d be insulted and judging your parenting tbh, on the basis of that suggestion alone, even an emergency doesn’t mitigate suggesting a 10-12 year old girl travel alone long distance on public transport.

You haven't done anything illegal, but I would be very annoyed. You took them away, parents agreed on the proviso you are supervising, not a 23 year old.

I think you should have offered to bring them home if that's what the parents want. They are your responsibility.

I'd take threats of police as a measure of how worried that parent is, and that you're not taking their (valid) concerns seriously. That said, doesn't every parent expect to travel to collect their child in an emergency? However inconvenient, time consuming and expensive. So ...

The nature of the emergency is significant. Life in the balance, that can only be attended by you, fair enough. But I would have consulted the other parents, not made unilateral plans. The most obvious responses to a genuine emergency are to abandon the trip and bring everyone home; or for another parent to join you and take over. Which I'm sure everyone would understand, and could have been agreed upon.

You scrambling to sort it out on your own makes me wonder if it's a more optional kind of emergency. I'd rather SD step up to deal with a family 'happening' until you're free, than leave her responsible for a group of 10-12 years olds far from home. So I guess it's not a family thing.

An unknown boyfriend accompanying SD is NOT going to reassure other parents. Whatever the truth of your SD, many 23 year olds are not very mature, too busy having a good time and making bad relationship choices; or still living at home being waited on hand and foot. Not the skillset to parent a gaggle of excited tweens for multiple days. Doubling that just increases the potential jeopardy.

To be honest I would not agree for my child to go away unless I was satisfied that they were either old enough to cope if something happened or that I couldn't get there quickly enough to be with them. What if the child had to be rushed to hospital? The parents should do whatever contingency plan they had in place for that eventuality. I hope that whatever emergency you have is resolved soon.

If it’s a genuine family emergency these kids parents are being absolute twats.

You’ve (presumably) taken their kids away for the week which they should be grateful for and now you have to unexpectedly prioritise something else. They sound like they’ve done nothing to support this change of circumstances and are expecting you to run around after them when you need to be prioritising your family.

YABVVU
Regardless of the legalities you can’t just abandon these girls with a step daughter and a random boyfriend. It’s just not on and I’d be really unhappy with the situation too.