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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Garden Party

149 replies

Peckhaminn · 02/04/2023 18:01

I'm looking at having a garden party for my birthday mid summer with all of our close friends (perhaps 30 people) and we live in a close knit new build estate where everyone's on top of each other. We are semi detached. We will have music and will inform both neighbours behind us and next to us. We have told guests that the party will start at 2:30 and finish at 11 as our neighbours have young children. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
matisses6fingers · 02/04/2023 18:05

YANBU

Summerslimtime · 02/04/2023 18:06

I would try and go inside at 10pm personally.

Clarinet1 · 02/04/2023 18:10

It depends a bit on how loud the music will be and what kind of music! Pounding Drill or Drum n’ Bass might be a bit much, a little light Jazz might be OK. Also, 6 and a half hours sounds quite long (although I appreciate you are probably expecting some people may not be there the whole time). However, if you’re giving notice they have the chance to make arrangements to be elsewhere. Alternatively, I have been told in the past that the done thing is to invite your neighbours (even if you don’t know them very well).

TheShellBeach · 02/04/2023 18:14

Whoa. Eight and a half hours of racket.
That's very, very unreasonable.

Sugarfish · 02/04/2023 18:14

I think it sounds fine. As long as the music isn’t ridiculously loud and it’s a one off weekend then 11 is perfectly reasonable to turn it off

LolaSmiles · 02/04/2023 18:15

Depends on the music and the volume for me.

We've got a mix of neighbours and I think it would be inconsiderate to have music outdoors beyond 9.30/10pm.

Like a PP said, the genre of music probably makes a difference too. Party music and drum and bass when people are trying to get DC to bed is going to be more of a nuisance than some quieter chill genres that's more comparable to someone having a small portable radio on when they're gardening.

30 people for almost 7 hours plus music is quite a lot of noise for neighbours in my opinion.

Hintofreality · 02/04/2023 18:15

Very unreasonable, hire a venue.

GoodChat · 02/04/2023 18:16

11 is late if it's been going on all day.

hartof · 02/04/2023 18:17

I think as a one off, it's fine. Will it be on a Saturday? Last year one of our neighbours did this on a Sunday and we had to try and sleep for work/school the next day with the blinds shaking from the music.

mrsm43s · 02/04/2023 18:18

Perfectly normal and reasonable. I'd probably invite the neighbours too though!

Boringcookingquestion · 02/04/2023 18:19

It depends what you and your friends are like at a party. Fairly quiet and unobtrusive music with people chatting and laughing at a normal level wouldn’t bother me, even with a toddler and baby at home.

Loud rock or rave music with people shouting and getting carried away isn’t fair until 11 when your neighbours are close by.

Spectre8 · 02/04/2023 18:19

Go for it. Our neighbours let their kids out playing all afternoon until evening 4hrs + of their screeching. My direct neighbours also have garden parties with loud shouting conversations all afternoon too. I get no notice so end up doing last minute.com escaping the house.

So long as you give enough notice. Invite them over if u like and get on with them.

gotmychristmasmiracle · 02/04/2023 18:20

Also warn them about fireworks 💥 if your having them!

MrsSchrute · 02/04/2023 18:20

Hintofreality · 02/04/2023 18:15

Very unreasonable, hire a venue.

Seconded.

Do you really want to keep all your neighbours children awake long into the night?

amylou8 · 02/04/2023 18:21

As a one off I think it's fine. As long as the music is a sensible volume and it's Saturday. If it's Sunday I think you need to stop the noise outside an hour or 2 earlier.

Hazelnuttella · 02/04/2023 18:22

11 is a bit late to be having music outside very close to your neighbours. Would be fine if you came inside at 10.

Sugarfish · 02/04/2023 18:22

Invite the neighbours as well. Even if you’re not that friendly and expect them to decline, it’s a less aggressive way of telling them the weekend might be a bit noisy. And if they do decide to come it could be the start of a friendship!

mnisannoyingAF · 02/04/2023 18:22

Mumsnet is on fire today for boring, miserable fuckers

bumblefeline · 02/04/2023 18:22

Sounds a bit much all day, 11pm is not that bad though, my partner works nights and weekends so I would appreciate the warning as we would have to book a hotel as he can't function in his job with no sleep.

L1ttledrummergirl · 02/04/2023 18:23

Anyone who inflicts themselves on other people us being unreasonable. As you neighbour, I would be really pissed off and judge the fuck out of you.

If you want to make that much noise, you need to be either away from civilisation, or, a pub/club/community venue where it's acceptable.

Your selfish excuse (it's all about me/my special day), is no reason to disturb your neighbours.

FattyBolger · 02/04/2023 18:23

Some posters on here are seriously uptight and weird. You’re not being unreasonable at all! You’ve been more than reasonable saying you’ll stop at 11 AND you’re telling them ahead of time. My neighbours had a party last summer that went on until the wee hours, lots of music and laughing etc. They never usually make excessive noise and it was a weekend, I honestly did not give a shit! People are acting like you’re suggesting hosting a late night dj set in your garden on a weekly basis complete with sound system and laser show…Mumsnet is a weird place at times. Enjoy your party!

Spectre8 · 02/04/2023 18:24

L1ttledrummergirl · 02/04/2023 18:23

Anyone who inflicts themselves on other people us being unreasonable. As you neighbour, I would be really pissed off and judge the fuck out of you.

If you want to make that much noise, you need to be either away from civilisation, or, a pub/club/community venue where it's acceptable.

Your selfish excuse (it's all about me/my special day), is no reason to disturb your neighbours.

Do you say the same about kids outside screaming whilst playing?

LongRoadtoNowhere · 02/04/2023 18:24

I live on a new build estate with an almost 2 year old and this wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

Sugarfish · 02/04/2023 18:25

mnisannoyingAF · 02/04/2023 18:22

Mumsnet is on fire today for boring, miserable fuckers

I know right? God forbid people from having a good time, once in a blue moon in their own property. And 11 isn’t even that late!

Restlessinthenorth · 02/04/2023 18:26

One off for a special birthday? Absolutely fine. Letting your neighbours know you are having an event is very courteous. I certainly wouldn't feel compelled to come in sooner than 11. I am sure there will be times when those small children are noisy early on a Sunday for example. It's give and take!