Garden Party

[Peckhaminn]

I'm looking at having a garden party for my birthday mid summer with all of our close friends (perhaps 30 people) and we live in a close knit new build estate where everyone's on top of each other. We are semi detached. We will have music and will inform both neighbours behind us and next to us. We have told guests that the party will start at 2:30 and finish at 11 as our neighbours have young children. Is this reasonable?

@MrsSchrute why do you get to decide it's about responsibilities, rather than rights?

How about your responsibility to not be an absolute killjoy for a small party to celebrate a milestone birthday, so happens about once a decade? Bore off!

I think finishing at 11pm will be 'late' for some people and I doubt things will 'go quiet' at 11pm however as a one off on a Friday or Saturday night (especially with notification) that's reasonable. Starting at 2:30pm isn't though....that's all afternoon and all evening. Maybe start at teatime or finish earlier,Have one of the other, or bring things indoors at 8pm. As a guest I wouldn't especially want to stay somewhere from 2:30 till 11pm. Are you having a BBQ? What's your plan for food. I'd expect a meal and a snack if I was there all afternoon and evening.

I’d be fine with this and if it’s a one of them I don’t see any problem. Like you say let neighbours know and if not too awkward invite them along too.

I wasn't rude to you, there is no need to be rude to me.

I have no issue at all with OP having a party, of course she should celebrate her birthday.

My point is that we should all think about the impact that our actions have on others. If I can make someone else's life easier, or at least avoid making it harder, why wouldn't I do that?

I live in a mid terrace house, it wouldn't cross my mind to make noise in the garden late into the night because I know it would disturb my neighbours, and they are all exactly the same. It makes for a lovely place to live.

Most people would be considerate for a one off party that will finish by 11pm. Invite immediate neighbours. Enjoy.

We would try and bring it inside later on as that's when people are getting really pissed and loud, and the volume starts creeping up, and the singing starts...

Just saves inflicting it on the whole neighbourhood.

I'd be cool with this as a one off with warning. Our neighbours have parties every weekend that finish at 11 and tbh, that irks me a lot... A one off can be explained to kids/ let them stay up late. Every weekend takes the piss

MN is the home of the terminally anti-social - it appears not only do they refuse to have any fun, they will not tolerate other people having fun, either.

It’s a ONE-OFF!! The OP will be forewarning her neighbours, and turning the music down well before midnight.

OP - you are, of course, not being unreasonable! Enjoy the party when it comes.

Lucky you. You must live somewhere where kids are just laughing and not screeching and shouting when playing. I dont grt to enjoy my garden and read a book peacefully cos thr racket that goes on for hours. So yeah if I decide to have a garden party once a yr I wouldnt be too considerate

It's fine OP, It's a one off. We don't all have to live in complete silence at all times.

Oh FFS of course it’s fine on a solitary occasion. If you tell the neighbours in good time I’m quite sure they can manage for one night. Jesus, you’re not being “antisocial” for having one party in the middle of summer.

Threads like this I get the feeling posters are being deliberately reactionary for shits and giggles.

We live like that, too.

Which means when the neighbours have the occasional party it’s absolutely fine!

DP is always asking me "won't your consider even a semi-detached?"
I did think that one day, I might, then I read threads like this about all the noise that may come with it and I'm resolved - detached with no immediate neighbours forever more, I've gotten used to it and not having to listen to other people's racket no matter what they decide to do. 🤣

The fun police are clearly out tonight.

11pm is absolutely fine OP. Especially given you’re going to be considerate enough to let your neighbours know in advance. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at any of my neighbours having music on outside until 11pm and the majority of people wouldn’t either.

MN is a weird place where people will twist themselves inside out coming up with every scenario under the sun as to why you’re a dreadful person for considering this though 🙄

I quite like to listen to people having fun and enjoying themselves. Especially since we couldn’t for so long in lockdown.

Ignore the miserable buggers OP!

I think advance notice is fine, but I would also invite your attached neighbours!

That's exactly why I will probably never move house, and if I do it would have to be to another detached house with no neighbours near enough to worry about them being noisy. It also means I don't have to worry about DC disturbing people when playing outside and if I want to I can have a party and make as much noise as I want. The neighborhood aren't close enough to hear us.

Sounds like fun though I’d personally have a 3 to 10 pm party: hopefully the guests will all have left by 10.30 ish. Definitely invite close neighbours - they probably would politely decline. Also give plenty of notice and a reminder ten days before

This is one of those occasions where you can be both unreasonable and not unreasonable! I love a garden party and afternoon drinking in the sun with some music playing is my perfect party!

However, I’ve also been to enough of them to know that you only need a couple of obnoxious, drunken guests to ruin it for everyone else and make your neighbours hate you. Ones that are completely pissed by 8.30 and are screechy, sweary and singing loudly while “secretly” whacking up the volume on the music. The ones that stay in the garden loudly chatting shit to whoever will listen way into the early hours. The ones that will call your neighbours “boring cunts” if they dare to ask you to keep the volume down. The ones that get pissed and try to jump the neighbours fence for “banter”.

My advice would be to absolutely go ahead but have a plan to effectively and quickly get rid of the troublemakers as soon as they start. If you have any of course. Your 30 guests may all be lovely and beautifully well behaved 🙃

I think we all just go by our experiences. My experiences of neighbours with 30 guests in the summer are loud and lairy (sp?) until the early hours with a couple of rows kicking off as people start leaving.

@GoodChat well yes that sounds awful but they must be some rough neighbours as I couldn't imagine anyone I knowing having a party that ended like that

They were fine in generally. Just a bit chavvy when they'd had a drink.

We've moved to a much quieter area now but I think I'd still get a bit of a tremor if a neighbour said they're having a garden party, even though they're all 70+

Agreed. OP, you’re asking in the wrong place. What you’re suggesting is fine. I’d even push it til midnight. Have fun!

It's a long time for a for a party <shudders at the thought of being expected to go to a party for nine hours or so>. I had my 40th as a garden party with very low key music (I am not really into music). We invited the immediate neighbours but someone else did call the Police at around 10pm .

I had this conversation with my SIL last year. We had just come back about midnight for a wedding and there was music playing from the garden next door. It went on until about 1am. She thought it was unreasonable, I felt that as a one off, on a hot Saturday, people are allowed to have their fun. It was 1am, not 4am.

I will be having a party in my garden soon, it’s a perfectly normal thing to do - don’t let MN tell you otherwise!