Page 6 | Garden Party

Peckhaminn · 2023-04-02T17:01:41+00:00

I'm looking at having a garden party for my birthday mid summer with all of our close friends (perhaps 30 people) and we live in a close knit new build estate where everyone's on top of each other. We are semi detached. We will have music and will inform both neighbours behind us and next to us. We have told guests that the party will start at 2:30 and finish at 11 as our neighbours have young children. Is this reasonable?

MacarenaMacarena · 04/04/2023 17:27

This sounds dreadful... Hire a venue or make it a more considerate get together. I would be very uncomfortable if neighbours did this... Imagine neighbours doing this to you before kids' exams/your hospital appointment/bereavement or when you're ill... Is this something you really want to start as a thing in your community? It could come round to bite you on the bum!

Anycolouryoulike · 04/04/2023 17:31

MacarenaMacarena · 04/04/2023 17:27

This sounds dreadful... Hire a venue or make it a more considerate get together. I would be very uncomfortable if neighbours did this... Imagine neighbours doing this to you before kids' exams/your hospital appointment/bereavement or when you're ill... Is this something you really want to start as a thing in your community? It could come round to bite you on the bum!

Don't be so bloody ridiculous.

Emigratingimmigrant · 04/04/2023 17:32

Itsbytheby · 04/04/2023 17:21

no, gone 11. Sometimes later. On one occassion we had very loud singing that woke up the entire house at 3.
I don't do it for revenge no, but I am also not going to go out of my way to keep my overtired kids inside and quiet for hours just so they can sleep off their hangovers. Consideration and effort goes both ways.

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I did wonder😂 3am would absolutely take them iff my Christmas card list

Emigratingimmigrant · 04/04/2023 17:33

MacarenaMacarena · 04/04/2023 17:27

This sounds dreadful... Hire a venue or make it a more considerate get together. I would be very uncomfortable if neighbours did this... Imagine neighbours doing this to you before kids' exams/your hospital appointment/bereavement or when you're ill... Is this something you really want to start as a thing in your community? It could come round to bite you on the bum!

Do your kids have exams on Sunday and do you have hospital appointments on Sunday 😱 what is that magic

Werehalfwaythere · 04/04/2023 17:35

11pm is way too late for young children to be kept up.

Wouldn't it be better to just hire somewhere?

mast0650 · 04/04/2023 17:36

If this is no more than once a year, it's the weekend, and you give some warning, then I think it's fine.

In fact, as a one-off, I think midnight is ok.

sunglassesonthetable · 04/04/2023 17:44

This sounds dreadful... Hire a venue or make it a more considerate get together. I would be very uncomfortable if neighbours did this... Imagine neighbours doing this to you before kids' exams/your hospital appointment/bereavement or when you're ill... Is this something you really want to start as a thing in your community? It could come round to bite you on the bum!

God Alive. It's not 'a thing' Ops invented. It's a birthday party.

It's as old as the hills.

MissMarplesbag · 04/04/2023 17:46

Hire a venue with a garden and adequate parking so you’re not inconveniencing your neighbours.

sunglassesonthetable · 04/04/2023 17:49

Luckily OP already has a free venue.

lovemycottage · 04/04/2023 17:50

11 pm is very late imo.

2bazookas · 04/04/2023 17:59

That's a late finish at 11, for neighbours who've been listening since mid afternoon.
I'd make it an afternoon garden party that started at lunch with a meal (anything from pizzas to barbecue to fully catered drinks and plates) and wind up by 7.

Itsbytheby · 04/04/2023 18:00

It's the combination too. the length of it AND the late stop. 11 hours of 80s loud 80s blasting in your windows sounds dreadful.

sunglassesonthetable · 04/04/2023 18:14

It's the combination too. the length of it AND the late stop. 11 hours of 80s loud 80s blasting in your windows sounds dreadful.

Tbh sounds like fun.

Goldbar · 04/04/2023 18:14

It's fine. It's a one-off and you're giving them notice. They can arrange to be out for the day or away for the weekend if they're seriously worried about their children's sleep.

Not all children require silence to sleep either. My eldest used to sleep best with some background noise until about age 4. A party going on in the background would have sent them right to sleep.

maxelly · 04/04/2023 18:23

I'm in the camp of absolutely fine as a one-off, maybe my friends are just really dull but if we'd been socialising and drinking since mid afternoon people would probably start to drift away by about 9/10pm ish anyway (have to get home for babysitters/work in the morning/tired/too drunk!). Plus by that time even in summer it will start to get chilly.

So I'd take that as my cue to start turning the music down, usher the hardcore partiers inside the house for more of a quiet(er) wind down, perhaps put more of a chill playlist on on a lower volume and so on, so that by 11pm it really is quiet for your neighbours if the noise has stopped them sleeping or whatever.

dew141 · 04/04/2023 18:29

I have a detached house (and a large garden) but I wouldn't play music for more than 4 hours as I don't think it's fair on my neighbours. Chatting is one thing but they don't need to listen to my music for 9 hours (as much as I love the 1990s).

So I'd go for 6-10 or 7-11 and scrap the afternoon music. And before the party pooping comments start, I'd genuinely rather not have music at friends' parties as you often end up shouting to carry on a conversation.

LolaSmiles · 04/04/2023 18:56

maxelly
We're fairly similar.
Just because we could stay out with music til 11pm, doesn't mean we would.

I'd be turning the music down earlier and nudging the event in as the evening progresses because I don't see why my neighbours should have to tolerate drunken rowdiness at 11pm just because I'm 'allowed' to.

MacarenaMacarena · 04/04/2023 19:03

I look forward to your posts when she moves in next door to you!!

MacarenaMacarena · 04/04/2023 19:06

Don't your kids revise at the weekend? Do you not feel tired? Do your caring responsibilities and health worries cease at the weekend? Not many of us have that luxury... How can neighbours stop their teenagers partying outside the weekend after this?

sunglassesonthetable · 04/04/2023 19:07

OP hasn't said she's running a weekly Drum N Bass sessions in her garden @MacarenaMacarena

It's a one off party. With notice. No probs. And I don't care if she has one every year.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 04/04/2023 19:39

MacarenaMacarena · 04/04/2023 19:03

I look forward to your posts when she moves in next door to you!!

Calm down.

It’s a one-off.

Emigratingimmigrant · 04/04/2023 19:45

MacarenaMacarena · 04/04/2023 19:06

Don't your kids revise at the weekend? Do you not feel tired? Do your caring responsibilities and health worries cease at the weekend? Not many of us have that luxury... How can neighbours stop their teenagers partying outside the weekend after this?

I mean like we all live next to each other and frankly, that comes with occasional noise.
We are not in apocalyptic Quiet place. Though some are making it sound like

There is nothing wrong with occasional party.

samsam123 · 04/04/2023 20:44

unreasonable - if you were my neighbour I'd pray for rain as I wouldnt want to have to listen to your music almost all day, Hire a venue

Rachaelrachael · 04/04/2023 21:09

Hmmm I'd say 11pm is a bit too late for music but probably OK for quiet chat!
I'm on a newbuild estate and my neighbours had a loud party last summer (just loud talking) and it was impossible to get my 1 and 3 year olds to sleep until the party finished.
I know I'll be called boring, and don't get me wrong I love a party, but I was pretty miffed that my Saturday night was ruined by trying to get overtired toddlers to sleep for 4 hours