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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Garden Party

149 replies

Peckhaminn · 02/04/2023 18:01

I'm looking at having a garden party for my birthday mid summer with all of our close friends (perhaps 30 people) and we live in a close knit new build estate where everyone's on top of each other. We are semi detached. We will have music and will inform both neighbours behind us and next to us. We have told guests that the party will start at 2:30 and finish at 11 as our neighbours have young children. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
AliceOlive · 02/04/2023 18:26

That’s a really long party! But I just mean for you and your guests. I’d say turn it down around 9ish and just make sure your neighbors are forewarned.

Like a few people above, I always invite all neighbors to any parties. They don’t all come, but at least know they are welcome.

MeinKraft · 02/04/2023 18:27

Do the neighbours have young children? Trying to put kids to bed with 30 people + music in the garden next door sounds like a fucking nightmare.

L1ttledrummergirl · 02/04/2023 18:28

Yep. If it goes on for 8 hours straight, absolutely.

Restlessinthenorth · 02/04/2023 18:28

L1ttledrummergirl · 02/04/2023 18:23

Anyone who inflicts themselves on other people us being unreasonable. As you neighbour, I would be really pissed off and judge the fuck out of you.

If you want to make that much noise, you need to be either away from civilisation, or, a pub/club/community venue where it's acceptable.

Your selfish excuse (it's all about me/my special day), is no reason to disturb your neighbours.

My god you sound like a barrel of laughs! How about living joyously and celebrating life!

MrNook · 02/04/2023 18:28

MeinKraft · 02/04/2023 18:27

Do the neighbours have young children? Trying to put kids to bed with 30 people + music in the garden next door sounds like a fucking nightmare.

Agreed especially following 8 hours of loud music

Emigratingimmigrant · 02/04/2023 18:29

Of course it's ok when it's not a regular occurrence every weekend

Enjoy!

Original poster
Peckhaminn · 02/04/2023 18:29

I was thinking 10pm instead, music will be 80's/90's no drum and bass for us!

OP posts:
Restlessinthenorth · 02/04/2023 18:29

MeinKraft · 02/04/2023 18:27

Do the neighbours have young children? Trying to put kids to bed with 30 people + music in the garden next door sounds like a fucking nightmare.

So they have a late night or sleep at grandparents for this one off occasion! Why does the child's bedtime trump OP's party?

MrsSchrute · 02/04/2023 18:29

Restlessinthenorth · 02/04/2023 18:28

My god you sound like a barrel of laughs! How about living joyously and celebrating life!

Show quote history

How about being aware of the fact that the people around you are going to be impacted by your choices and acting courteously?

BungleandGeorge · 02/04/2023 18:30

Restlessinthenorth · 02/04/2023 18:26

One off for a special birthday? Absolutely fine. Letting your neighbours know you are having an event is very courteous. I certainly wouldn't feel compelled to come in sooner than 11. I am sure there will be times when those small children are noisy early on a Sunday for example. It's give and take!

😆 I doubt it will be anything like the noise from 30 people and music in a small modern semi!

I think it’s too long and too late to be outside with that many people

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 02/04/2023 18:30

Depends what you're playing and how loud.
A couple of years ago we had notification of a 'children's party' starting at 2pm. What actually happened was 12+ hours of pounding shite dance music with a dj and huge speakers 🙄.
I was on my own with a small baby as my DP was on a night shift and it drove me up the fucking wall listening to it until almost 3am.

Hopefully you're not as big a twat as my neighbours.

Restlessinthenorth · 02/04/2023 18:32

@MrsSchrute why does your right to silence matter more than OP's right to have a joyous occasion on her garden? It's a one off!

Peachy2005 · 02/04/2023 18:32

10pm sounds better, you can take it indoors if it’s still going on.

Spectre8 · 02/04/2023 18:33

MrsSchrute · 02/04/2023 18:29

How about being aware of the fact that the people around you are going to be impacted by your choices and acting courteously?

Show quote history

Do you uyell kids to play quietly then so you can enjoy your garden? Becuase kids should be aware and be courteous of the noise they make too right

Addymontgomeryfan · 02/04/2023 18:34

I think it would depend on how loud your music is and how loud your guests are. A gathering of friends or family in a garden is fine, a party with lots of noise when you live in an area with lots of houses close by would probably annoy alot of people, especially for the length of time you plan.

GoodChat · 02/04/2023 18:35

mnisannoyingAF · 02/04/2023 18:22

Mumsnet is on fire today for boring, miserable fuckers

I'd rather be boring than antisocial

MrsSchrute · 02/04/2023 18:35

Spectre8 · 02/04/2023 18:33

Do you uyell kids to play quietly then so you can enjoy your garden? Becuase kids should be aware and be courteous of the noise they make too right

Show quote history

There is huge difference between a few children laughing during the day while playing in their gardens in the afternoon and 30+ people plus a sound system blasting out noise until 11pm!
And no, of course I don't let my children scream their heads off in the garden - I have neighbours!

MrsSchrute · 02/04/2023 18:36

Restlessinthenorth · 02/04/2023 18:32

@MrsSchrute why does your right to silence matter more than OP's right to have a joyous occasion on her garden? It's a one off!

It's not about rights, it's about responsibilities. We all have a responsibility to be a good neighbors. It's basic, don't cause more inconvenience to your neighbours than you need to.

mnisannoyingAF · 02/04/2023 18:36

@GoodChat we don't k ow it's antisocial until someone says so. They might be a relaxed bunch who don't begrudge someone a party once in a while, or they might not, and I'm sure the OP would knock it on the head if needed.

Emigratingimmigrant · 02/04/2023 18:37

I am pretty confident the most vocal against parties because "qe want quoet" are actually the ones making most noise regularly. That's how it is in outlr neighbourhood😂
"Have you heared that bkrthday party at no x? Tehre should be no outdoor parties because of the extra noise"
But you never hear from number x otherwise, while the complainant regularly has radio on in garden, tv on very loud and windows open, drills and cuts timber half the weekends, probably owns all power tools in existence and so on😂

ConstanceOcean · 02/04/2023 18:38

I think 2-11pm is way too long.

What will be happening at the party for all that time?

I think having the music on until 11 is quite late and I think it would be better to carry on inside from 9pm.

Delatron · 02/04/2023 18:38

It’s fine - as a one off. I never bemoan neighbours having occasional noisy parties. Stick my ear plugs in. We did one last year. Warned all the neighbours.

It’s miserable to object to the odd party. If you were very considerate you could come inside/turn the music down at 10. But enjoy.

Emigratingimmigrant · 02/04/2023 18:38

What the heck is up with that typos. Sorry

XanaduKira · 02/04/2023 18:39

Totally fine, although depending on how loud the music is, I'd maybe turn it down a notch after 10pm.

TorchwoodWho · 02/04/2023 18:39

Restlessinthenorth · 02/04/2023 18:28

My god you sound like a barrel of laughs! How about living joyously and celebrating life!

Show quote history

Someone isn't joyous for not wanting to enjoy their neighbours having a party for 8 hours straight? I generally enjoy life, I wouldn't enjoy a neighbour's party going on for that long, until 11pm as well.

It makes me laugh that most, if not all, of the people berating OP would be raging listening to a party going on all day while having no control over the volume of chatting and music, or the type of music played. 😅 I hope you enjoy living life full of joy when your neighbours have an all day drum & bass party. 😂