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Original poster

Does anyone else look quite young

328 replies

EgyptAdvice · 02/04/2023 11:43

but really hate it? I'm not here to brag and I'm sure that I'll be accused of just that, but this is genuinely something which bothers me quite a lot. I'm in my mid 30s, but don't feel I get taken seriously because I look young. I was recently asked if I was my partner's daughter (we are no longer together, he's only 8 years older than me, but he still brings this up lightheartedly) and feel I don't get taken seriously at work when in male dominated meetings. I'm constantly being told I look young and one of the men at work called me 'babyface' which felt quite demeaning. It no longer feels like a compliment (such as if you get asked for ID when buying alcohol) but more like a running joke. I'm constantly googling 'ways to make yourself look older'. Am I being unreasonable that commenting on someone's appearance like this isn't ok? Or should I just take it as a compliment?

OP posts:
Maireas · 02/04/2023 19:06

DrunkTrampolining · 02/04/2023 19:04

I imagine that poster’s boss realised she’d fucked up by asking an inappropriate personal question, and tried to make it less awkward by saying she too young.

Show quote history

Yes, it sounds like a quick cover up

Pamandmickcharlesandcamilla · 02/04/2023 19:21

DrunkTrampolining · 02/04/2023 18:27

And who is she? I’m sure I know her face but can’t place her.

Gemma chan

DancingWithBroccoli · 02/04/2023 19:21

Enjoy it while you still have it OP! I used to get id'd in the pub age 36!! But now mid 40s I do look my age!

In my 20s and 30s I got used to people asking how old I am, me telling them, and then getting a shocked reaction! Then one day it stopped! No more shock! I do look my age! I would love to go back to youthful looks :)

DrunkTrampolining · 02/04/2023 19:42

Pamandmickcharlesandcamilla · 02/04/2023 19:21

Gemma chan

Show quote history

Thank you! 😊 I knew I recognised her, I watched her in Humans a few years ago.

Maireas · 02/04/2023 19:45

Why are some people always getting asked their age? How strange.

DannyZukosSmile · 02/04/2023 20:52

Yes @EgyptAdvice I am actually 87, but regularly get mistaken for a year and a half old. I have had people trying to sell me nappies and baby milk, asking where my mommy is, wondering what nursery I go to, and wondering why I have a debit card, and cash in my purse (when I am a toddler.)

It's so annoying. Everyone thinks my DH is my grandad, and when I'm on my own, I get people calling the police as they wonder why my mommy and daddy aren't with me. ARGH! It's so annoying. I wish I looked older... even looking 5 years old would do. Sad

DannyZukosSmile · 02/04/2023 20:54

CovertImage · 02/04/2023 12:46

God, thread threads are cringy and fascinating at the same time. I see we have the usual "I'm 46 but I look 28 and I hate it because no-one takes me seriously" types

No-one takes you seriously because you think you look 28 mate

😂

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 02/04/2023 20:55

I looked quite young until about 35, was frequently ID’d etc.

then I had kids and bloody hell I’ve aged in the last 8 years 🤣 I definitely look my age now!

LemonPeonies · 02/04/2023 21:40

Yes I smoke tobacco, doesn't hinder my effects of performing CPR on a pt after a cardiac arrest 🤣 weirdo.

LemonPeonies · 02/04/2023 21:41

That was for @Cam22 obviously

TrudyProud · 02/04/2023 21:52

Crikeyalmightey · 02/04/2023 11:54

I'd loose the braids, they are a bit childlike.

Maybe OP is black...
When we braid our hair we aren't taking two side plaits. Expand your horizons maybe

CandleInTheStorm · 02/04/2023 21:56

This is one of those things where unless you've experienced it, it does seem a funny thing to worry about (looking youthful). But it is certainly a thing!

You do get patronised both in work and with kids as a parent when you look much younger for your age. If you can't possibly believe this, it's because either you look your age or you're one of the people.

I remember when I was 28 and was asked if I "got funny looks" walking down the street with my dc (who were 4 and 6 at the time)? I hadn't even been a teen when I had them! People are proper arseholes when you don't look the age they think you "should." Another one was when I took my ds, who was 9 at the time to the gp. As we walked in, the gp made a real exaggerated point of looking behind us to see if "mum" was walking in? I also recall when I was selling my house, the estate agent asking, "So you're selling together!" Because my mum was in the house. I was 35 ffs. It's definitely a thing and really shitty behaviour from those who treat you like a child

Now I get "you can't possibly have a 16 year old!" 😱 And not even in a trying flatter way but a genuine shock! I'm older now, so I can happily assert my... and? Let's get on with the grown-up conversation...

ToBeOrNotToBee · 02/04/2023 22:01

I'm 33, let slip I'm off next week for my birthday.

Cue senior managers audibly gasping, and one saying he thought I was late 20s.

Until 2 years ago I was still getting IDd in some places and get approached by men in their 20s when out.

I blame the persistent acne that won't fuck off and no bad habits for my youthful appearance.

xogossipgirlxo · 02/04/2023 22:01

handmeaparachute · 02/04/2023 17:56

Like hell am I posting a photo on MN!

But if you want to play that game, let's randomly pick a photo of someone who is actually in the public eye. Here's a photo of an English actress with East Asian heritage. Any guesses how old she was when this photo was taken?

I'd say mid 30s.

machogrande · 02/04/2023 22:06

I really did look younger until I hit 50, really! I was ID'd for booze and everything. Then at someone's birthday party last year, my best friend's 9 year old daughter decided to rank us in age and proclaimed Machogrande defo looks the oldest...(I wasn't).

From thinking I was a perpetually young peterpan to this harsh pronouncement was a real killer actually. Coinciding with menopause I only ever see an ancient person in the mirror and it's toppled my confidence completely :(

I've had body dysmorphia issues since my 20s and had just about done the work to live with them until Wham, the innocent remark of a 9 year old!

I guess what I'm saying is ... I'm not sure really! If we live in the world in which we live, where youth is revered, then maybe don't worry about it? If they refer to how young you look at work and/but you're work is exemplary, then I guess don't worry about it.

I could go bigger and say let's all rebel against the reverence of youth over age... but it depends how busy our days are.

MYSTERIOUSGIRLONLINE · 02/04/2023 22:06

I keep getting told I don't look my age which lets just say I'm late 40s eeek lol. I recently became a grandmother and have a grown up son but when I tell people this they are shocked saying I look way too young. Long may it last lol. Not bad going as I've had no cosmetic surgery though I wouldn't turn it down if offered it lol.

Lockeddownagain · 02/04/2023 22:09

Not so much now but definitely before my daughter was born. The midwife thought I was 17 and was being a right bitch to me until she saw I was 32 and said oh you look 17 fuck know who she thought my husband was. Worse thing was the baby wasn't moving so I was really scared
Also when I was 24 a contractor at my work made a comment about thr 26year old work experience and I said sorry as you talking to me because I work here and my 24. They were mortified

Lockeddownagain · 02/04/2023 22:10

16year old work placement sorry not 26

machogrande · 02/04/2023 22:11

@Lockeddownagain
Do you mean the midwife treated you like shit because she thought you were 17? 😯

CandleInTheStorm · 02/04/2023 22:13

machogrande · 02/04/2023 22:11

@Lockeddownagain
Do you mean the midwife treated you like shit because she thought you were 17? 😯

Unfortunately this doesn't surprise me. I was 21 when I had my dd and was treated like a 16 year old in trouble because that's how old I looked...

bluetongue · 02/04/2023 22:22

IsolatedWilderness · 02/04/2023 12:18

If it's not too personal (if it is, ignore me), is that about when you hit pre-menopause? I hear that's when we really age. I've just started hitting signs of menopause approaching at 50, so wonder if my young looks are on borrowed time.

Show quote history

Not too personal. My hormones are still normal level and I have regular periods so not sure about peri menopause. I think it was my neck starting to to age that did it for me 😭

IsolatedWilderness · 02/04/2023 22:37

Maireas · 02/04/2023 19:45

Why are some people always getting asked their age? How strange.

One situation I experienced that led to me being asked my age at my child's school (said child was then 7). Sometimes my older teenagers would pick up my younger two from school on their way home from high school. This started the other parents talking about it because they didn't think I could have kids that age. I went to a school event and one of the other Mum's stepped out and asked me how old I was because the 7 and 9 year old they could see, but they didn't think the older kids could be mine. They also wanted to know how many kids I had since new ones kept springing up. ha.

Maireas · 02/04/2023 23:22

Those parents sound strange. Avoid.

IsolatedWilderness · 02/04/2023 23:27

Maireas · 02/04/2023 23:22

Those parents sound strange. Avoid.

They were friendly enough. They were the 'cool' mums though, I am not one of them.

I don't know why some people seem to get upset at others suggesting they look young for their age. (General observation, not aimed at you or anyone in particular). I'm saying I look young based on casual interactions that have led me to believe that. I haven't said I am beautiful or even pretty, so it's not a brag. You can be youthful looking and very average.

SaltyDogLife · 03/04/2023 00:27

DannyZukosSmile · 02/04/2023 20:52

Yes @EgyptAdvice I am actually 87, but regularly get mistaken for a year and a half old. I have had people trying to sell me nappies and baby milk, asking where my mommy is, wondering what nursery I go to, and wondering why I have a debit card, and cash in my purse (when I am a toddler.)

It's so annoying. Everyone thinks my DH is my grandad, and when I'm on my own, I get people calling the police as they wonder why my mommy and daddy aren't with me. ARGH! It's so annoying. I wish I looked older... even looking 5 years old would do. Sad

oh stop it! 😂
That was hilarious