Does anyone else look quite young

[EgyptAdvice]

but really hate it? I'm not here to brag and I'm sure that I'll be accused of just that, but this is genuinely something which bothers me quite a lot. I'm in my mid 30s, but don't feel I get taken seriously because I look young. I was recently asked if I was my partner's daughter (we are no longer together, he's only 8 years older than me, but he still brings this up lightheartedly) and feel I don't get taken seriously at work when in male dominated meetings. I'm constantly being told I look young and one of the men at work called me 'babyface' which felt quite demeaning. It no longer feels like a compliment (such as if you get asked for ID when buying alcohol) but more like a running joke. I'm constantly googling 'ways to make yourself look older'. Am I being unreasonable that commenting on someone's appearance like this isn't ok? Or should I just take it as a compliment?

It’s genuinely not upset. It’s just ridiculous - 32 year olds who look 17 😂 mums unable to take their child to the doctor without the doctor doing a spit take and looking all around for ‘mum?’ It’s very unlikely. Have you ever seen a 32 year old who looks 17?

I think you are on the wrong site then, I have heard that the ‘working classes’ and poorer people should be on Netmums instead 🤣🤣

I used to hate this. I know how infuriating it is to not be taken seriously. (And patronized!) I’m blonde and 5ft tall. I’m also of mixed heritage and suspect that between that and a lifetime of sun-dodging (I live in Aus, so it’s a serious risk here), it’s also kept me looking younger than my contemporaries. I’m 50 now and have only just started to get wrinkles around my eyes. I haven’t yet done anything to my face (not averse, but haven’t felt the need or had the money.), but know that a lot of women I went to school with certainly have and depending on what they get done, it has a different “aging effect” than the natural aging process. Now I know because I look younger, I can get jobs that others my age may miss out on because assumptions are made about “older” women.

Does anyone remember the person who cracked it in the bottle shop as they were NOT asked for ID? Then went home and had a massive tizz because someone in the house wouldn’t put up with their whining about it? Hopefully they will be along to tell you how young they look😂.

No, I've never seen that myself but I'm sure they exist. I doubt it's common at all, but some people do have a bit of an ambiguous look. I don't think it's unbelievable that a 50 year old could look early 40s, or a 30 year old could look early 20s though.

I do know what I've lived though, and people have always assumed me a good few years younger. When I was 21, people thought I was 16. When I was 20 and pushing my first baby in the pram I was asked by a local woman if I lived with my parents. She was shocked when I said I lived with my husband. I've been in my early 20s when I was asked if my parents were home by randoms at the door (MY door). I've got lots of experiences that tell me I look younger, which I what I am basing my own assumption that I do on. No problem for me if people don't believe it, I'm really just speaking to the blanket denials that anyone looks younger than their age.

All MNers look young, except the ones who worry about ageing at 28.

What dreadful, misogynistic workplaces, @Fraaahnces . I think there are employment laws against this sort of thing. No wonder women sre terrified of ageing.

I mean, I’m shit at guessing people’s ages. Maybe all these gobsmacked people that the youthful-looking pps keep running into are too?

Me. Mid 40s. Someone guessed I was mid 30s a couple of months ago. Usually people underguess by at least 5 years. I climbed my career ladder very quickly and was in the senior tier by my mid 30s. Regularly got asked for the manager, and delighted in saying ‘that’s me’.

I'm with you OP, it is annoying. I got ID'd to by matches (min age 16) when I was 27 and regularly get asked if my parents are in when people come to the door trying to sell loft conversions or whatever. Uh, no, this is my house! I'm not a teenager living at home.

It does happen less now so guess I'm finally aging. The two kids are probably to blame 😂

Aging is a good thing. The alternative stinks.

In my mid-30s I looked very young. Had my first DC at 36 and boom! I now very much look my age 2 DC later.

No, you misunderstand. I'm responding to the woman who explained that looking younger helps her get jobs other women don't.
I'm not talking about ageing v death.

I wouldn't worry. "Looking your age" is very, very subjective.

I last got id-ed for booze age 33. I had my first child three years later and now look my age. Looks like this is a common story!
I remember my mum looking ancient when we were teenagers and she was in her late forties, then looking much younger and healthier after we had all left home. Half of looking young or old is having time and money to spend on yourself, I think.

At the age of 29/30 I was regularly asked if I 'lived with my parents ' or if I were 'studying'. 2 years later I've just been for nasolabial fold fillers as those and some faint marionette lines have appeared overnight! I still look young for my age but I feel that I'm now ageing, and it scared me how quickly the changes happened.

The gp thing did happen to me, it was so rude!

I wouldn't worry if people trying to flog you something at the door ask for your mum or think you look like a teenager, I had one on the phone last week exclaiming amazement that I was 70 as she thought I was much younger. Don't know what she was basing her amazement on but I think it is a technique to make you warm to sales people.

You're right, @ancientgran . Sales patter. We've all had that!

Chill, Trudy. I already apologised for making an assumption about the OP's hair. My horizons are plenty broad, thanks.

Yes, Ditto. People think it's wonderful but when you look 12 and you're 21 never have a boyfriend when you are young, so you miss out on life experience. People don't take you seriously in your job, people are condescending because you look like a child. In a job where you have expertise you are not taken seriously. Shops treat you like a child. Fucking paedophiles even try to hit on you. As in 'you look like my daughter' ffs.

Mistaken for you daughters sister when you were 30 years older than her! your Dhs second wife (a younger model) when he's only 2 years older.

As you get older it's a constant irritation when people underestimate you. Gets slightly better in your 30s and 40s but even when you are 50s and just want to relax into middle age people keep the comments coming an you end up feeling like you have to make an effort with make up and stuff to live up to their expectations. It's all warped and tiresome.

I looked much younger till I had the menopause aged 50 and aged pretty radically compared to before. I think I could pass for about 50 though I am 56 but before menopause people thought I was a lot younger.

Many years ago when MN was smaller there was a thread where people put their photos up and their age, no one would do that now.

You'll find on this site that genetics are usually given as the answer. Endless streams of people who apparently look 25 at 45 despite years of hard partying, smoking and sun, and not a line on their face. Hmmm...

Misogyny is bloody everywhere and it’s not always perpetuated by men @Maireas. Unfortunately I’d love to say that women are the biggest supporters of women in the workplace, but in my experience (in the arts and now in health) they’re not. It’s simply dog eat dog no matter what. Most of my colleagues are absolutely fantastic human beings (both sexes) but I’m afraid that I am jaded enough to believe that psychopaths go further in their careers because they don’t care who they stomp on or the effects their overt or covert bullying has on the people they eclipse along the way. They don’t even care enough to notice the wake they leave behind.

I’m 36, whenever I tell someone I don’t know that I have teenagers aged 15 and 16 they are shocked because I “don’t look old enough”. I think they need to go to specsavers because I defo need some Botox in my life.