Does anyone else look quite young

[EgyptAdvice]

but really hate it? I'm not here to brag and I'm sure that I'll be accused of just that, but this is genuinely something which bothers me quite a lot. I'm in my mid 30s, but don't feel I get taken seriously because I look young. I was recently asked if I was my partner's daughter (we are no longer together, he's only 8 years older than me, but he still brings this up lightheartedly) and feel I don't get taken seriously at work when in male dominated meetings. I'm constantly being told I look young and one of the men at work called me 'babyface' which felt quite demeaning. It no longer feels like a compliment (such as if you get asked for ID when buying alcohol) but more like a running joke. I'm constantly googling 'ways to make yourself look older'. Am I being unreasonable that commenting on someone's appearance like this isn't ok? Or should I just take it as a compliment?

Well of course. If someone asks me ‘how old to you think I look’ my instant thought process is ‘well they look about 45 but as they’re asking and fishing for compliments they probably think they look young so I’ll say 32.’

Once again, on these threads where 50yos get mistaken for teenagers, we need PHOTOS.

Most people are beguiled by flattery because no one wants to tell the 45yo she looks 50, so they kindly lop 15 years off, despite it not being true. I work with women who ask ‘How old do you think I am? Go on! Guess!’ Being a nice person I tell them what they want to hear (35) and not the truth (63).

Stop deluding yourselves people or post photos to prove your astounding youthfulness.

I've aged better than my partner (been together 30 years) and now everyone presumes there's a big age gap between us.
In reality he's only 15 months older.
I do get fed up occasionally of the comments.

Do people honestly expect photos to be posted here?

Like hell am I posting a photo on MN!

But if you want to play that game, let's randomly pick a photo of someone who is actually in the public eye. Here's a photo of an English actress with East Asian heritage. Any guesses how old she was when this photo was taken?

How should I know how old a celebrity in professional makeup in a retouched photograph is? I was asking about the people who apparently look so so young for their age that total strangers approach and tell them. In real life I have never seen somebody who looks 10-15 years younger than their age because it’s just very unlikely. Even on TV it’s very easy to tell that the actors aren’t really teenagers etc, unless they’re only a little older.

But how totally surprising that none of the 40 year olds who can’t even make a cup of coffee at work without someone mistaking them for a work experience child don’t want to post any photos…

86? 72? 14? It's completely irrelevant.

In 15 years of MNing, not one I'm-48-but-I-look-17 person has EVER posted a photo that I've seen.

People post pics for all sorts of things. They make up a new username, block out the eyes and bingo. For these threads? No chance.

Another way of looking at it - how many people have ever spoken to a teenager and discovered to their astonishment that they were addressing a 47 year old woman? 😂

Yeh don't get this

Never met anyone who looked much younger

Chubby women have fatter face but don't look younger as fat body looks older

Black and mixed race women have thicker skin but the hair eyes teeth give the game away

Nobody looks younger everyone who looks decent had up to date fashion, decent hair, looks groomed and modern. And looks their age but well maintained.

I think peoples idea of age is linked to their aunts and style of the 1980/1990s.

Women age 40
Plus today look (fatter) but much more polished that 20-30yr ago and good for it

I have an annoying neighbour who randomly asked me that, so I took 10 years off, and it was still an overestimation 😂! I just said that I'm no good at guessing ages and you look good 😊

If you work in a male-dominated environment where women are ignored, it won't make a difference whether you are dismissed because you are young-looking or middle-aged, you will not be listened to properly. Men in these types of places don't suddenly start deferring to older-looking women, they ignore them as they are no longer young, attractive and laugh at their jokes. So, I wouldn't wish to look older as it won't benefit you at all.

@WTFTwinings very, very true. The person who claimed to be mistaken for a 17 year old - put her in a random yr12 class and I'll pick her out. No problems.

43?

Not this again 🤣

I wish people would post pictures

Early 40s I reckon.

Late 30s/40?

And who is she? I’m sure I know her face but can’t place her.

This thread is weird. I see plenty of people (working with gen public) on their own and then they come in at another time with partners/kids/parents, or you have a chat about something and you realise they're much older/younger than they look, it's not uncommon. The idea that it doesn't affect how you're perceived or treated is also a bit bizarre.

All these people who constantly have colleagues or neighbours asking them "how old do you think I look". ?? In all my working years not one colleague has ever approached me and asked me that question or to guess their age.

The topic of age only ever comes up in reference to a Wider conversation, for example somebody's birthday or retirement and we are surprised at their age.

Amongst my friendship group we do look younger - compared to for example some school friends or colleagues of similar age but that's not to boast as it's not a big deal - but at the same time there is no need for us to pretend we think we look our age so as not to offend anyone - we are still whatever our age is on our birth cart.

I don't see why so many think it's not possible - if you don't smoke, and lie in the sun, drink nil or very little alcohol, and have good basic hygiene, eating habits and even minimal exercise, the rest is down to genes. Nothing too
onerous snd no magic secret.

I Look about 10 years older as I’m a nurse and a mum to young children

My husband on the other hand gets ID’d every time. Very annoying as I’ve actually been refused a bottle of wine before when he didn’t have his ID with him. He’s 7 years older than me 🥲

The ID for booze thing is a red herring. They have to ID fairly regularly and it's not always based on appearance.

Based on East Asian friends of mine, I reckon she's early 40s.

What does that tell us about anything?

It's exactly the same as the weight threads where loads of posters will insist that "no one can believe I'm a size 18" and "everyone was shocked when I told them I'm in the obese BMI category"

It's like they have never heard of the concept of being polite/flattery.

What it actually goes to show is how astonishingly susceptible people are to really obvious flattery.

I imagine that poster’s boss realised she’d fucked up by asking an inappropriate personal question, and tried to make it less awkward by saying she too young.