Does anyone else look quite young

[EgyptAdvice]

but really hate it? I'm not here to brag and I'm sure that I'll be accused of just that, but this is genuinely something which bothers me quite a lot. I'm in my mid 30s, but don't feel I get taken seriously because I look young. I was recently asked if I was my partner's daughter (we are no longer together, he's only 8 years older than me, but he still brings this up lightheartedly) and feel I don't get taken seriously at work when in male dominated meetings. I'm constantly being told I look young and one of the men at work called me 'babyface' which felt quite demeaning. It no longer feels like a compliment (such as if you get asked for ID when buying alcohol) but more like a running joke. I'm constantly googling 'ways to make yourself look older'. Am I being unreasonable that commenting on someone's appearance like this isn't ok? Or should I just take it as a compliment?

It won't let me send a picture via pm unless I'm doing something wrong...

Oh, yes I see - there's no attachment link is there. That's a shame.

It is a shame as I do look sooo bloody baby faced in it! If only I had the confidence then like I do now to just tell them to piss off!

I actually do remember starting a thread on it in the late 00s and the responses were pretty much like the ones here as apparently I should have been grateful 🤔

In all seriousness, if I went back in time and could change anything, it would be that. Looking youthful/good for age is one thing and wonderful. Looking like a teen during a certain time frame with a baby face is horrible. I could literally write a book on the scenarios/comments disguised as "compliments." Compliments aren't said in a condensing/belittling/patronising tone! It all really affected me when I was younger, and I certainly had to work harder at certain things. Luckily, age has made things better, and I feel OK now because I don't really care!

I'm always on these threads but I am 37 and had this all my life. I still get told I look between 17-22 and my 23 Yr old colleague was amazed that I was older than her and by so many years. I absolutely hate it. People always treat me like a young kid and as with others I constantly get asked if I live at home with parents which yes in this day and age is possible but not really something you ask a nearly 40 something. Also had the 'Do you have kids? Oh, hang on, you're too young to have them aren't you ?' also. Not just in my head, this is a constant theme in my life. My age has never been correctly guessed and always at least 10-20 years younger.
I am short, slim, freckles, bright eyes, flat chested, not very confident so think all that contributes. I would do anything to look my age. It's incredibly embarrassing and makes me feel shit.

Wow you must look even younger than me! I'm 38 and feel like am aging ok now as the only comments I get now is I can't possibly be my 16 year old dds mum! Not in a complimentary "oh you must be sisters..." wink wink way but in the let's over comment way/you must have been 13 when you had her rude kind of way which is never finished with a smile, it's more of a statement. The tone... wen you know you know...

@CandleInTheStorm (or anyone else) you can send an image by private message, then it doesn't appear on the website. Use the envelope icon at the top.

Sorry if I've misunderstood but are people really PM their pics to @Maireas? To get her opinion ?

I tried to, but you can't. Just backing up my " false" claim 😄 Don't want to put my image on the thread.

No, I think she just wanted to share a photo but understandably didn't want to post it on a public forum. Her choice.

Anyway, @CandleInTheStorm - don't worry, point made, I'm sure you're very young looking.

I beg to differ that someone cannot look 20 years younger than their age.
Have a colleague who is 38 and I absolutely thought this was her first job and she was around 19 or 20. Not just short and slim but incredibly young faced. Very youthful looking eyes in particular and she has chronic health issues so takes shitloads of medication etc so not like she has a stress free life either.
Without being mean though, she isn't stunning. Just really young looking. Young doesn't mean gorgeous.

People think you look 17 at 37? Quite a lot of people you meet clearly have poor eyesight. NEWSFLASH. You look like someone in their mid to late 30s. FACT.

I wonder why?

Do you know me in person? No. So please stop telling me what my lived experiences are.
Not sure why people on here get so angry that some of us genuinely do look a lot younger than others our age. Of course there are many who think they do but then there are others like myself where their whole lives are ruled by the majority view that they are a teen or a young girl. You want to live my life and then come back and say 'Yep. You are deluded. You definitely look in your thirties. ' some have no idea. I've said time and time again that I am not attractive so not sure where the anger stems from.
I know my life and my lived experiences, I don't have to prove that to anyone here.

@DannyZukosSmile How do you know? It's quite possible that at 37 she does look very youthful. Especially given the description she has shared. 37 is really not even that old.

Exactly

She may look 27 possibly, from 20-30 feet away. Like fuck does she look 17. 😆

@TheLostNights No-one is 'angry' at the claims from some that they look 12 when they are 59. We are laughing at you ... 😂

Cool. Keep laughing.
You don't know me and you haven't lived my life or had the experiences that I had so it means very little what you think. I know the truth.

You wonder why? Really? Maybe because it's a public forum 😶 I tried to send one privately to maireas but you can't seem to do that on mn.

Not a fact just because you say so and putting it in capital letters still doesn't make it a fact, it's your opinion 🙄

Name change, photo, eyes blocked out. Name change back.

Bingo. Proof. Result - everyone who casts doubt on the idea that a woman in her 30's or 40's looks 17 shuts up and those childlike posters are proved right.

And yet... not one photo, ever, on any of these threads. Anyone can make up/say whatever they like on the internet, but posting highly implausible stuff tends to get called out.

But the eyes are part of the baby face which makes someone, or at least me, look much younger.

I'm not saying I look like it now, I'm late 30s and pass for early 30s which is fine. I was talking about my 20s when it really bothered me because I looked ridiculously young, as in teen young. My picture was one from my 20s so I could show what I meant.

Just because it's implausible to those who've never experienced it doesn't mean it's made up. There's plenty of threads over the past decade from various women with lots of replies from people who have experienced similar experiences. Another one's popped up tonight in fact and we can't all be deluded or making it up!

100% this ^ and they they never will post a photo of themselves. Even if we did see any photograph, there is no guarantee, that it's not a picture taken of them when they were 17. !!! Or a picture of just some random 17 year old.

It would need to be someone holding a piece of cardboard up saying. 'I'm 40, everyone says I look 17... Mumsnet 3rd of April 2023.'

I can see no reason at all why anyone making such big claims, can't just name change and post a photo.

They probably have photos of themselves elsewhere on the internet so what's the big deal?

They can always report afterwards and get it removed.

I tried to, but you can't. Just backing up my " false" claim 😄 Don't want to put my image on the thread.

There is really no need for this unless you want them . some of these posters are like a dog with a bone and even after seeing the photo they will find something about the pic to discredit you. It posters on an anonymous forum don't believe you, that is not the end of the world.