Does anyone else look quite young

[EgyptAdvice]

but really hate it? I'm not here to brag and I'm sure that I'll be accused of just that, but this is genuinely something which bothers me quite a lot. I'm in my mid 30s, but don't feel I get taken seriously because I look young. I was recently asked if I was my partner's daughter (we are no longer together, he's only 8 years older than me, but he still brings this up lightheartedly) and feel I don't get taken seriously at work when in male dominated meetings. I'm constantly being told I look young and one of the men at work called me 'babyface' which felt quite demeaning. It no longer feels like a compliment (such as if you get asked for ID when buying alcohol) but more like a running joke. I'm constantly googling 'ways to make yourself look older'. Am I being unreasonable that commenting on someone's appearance like this isn't ok? Or should I just take it as a compliment?

Well this is Mumsnet, so yes, everyone basically.

Not me, I look as old as fuck.

😂😂😂
You beat me to it!
We're all young with 6 figure salaries here, don't you know op?

It isn’t so bad now I’m mid-40s, but around age 30 I was regularly asked at work if I was a new graduate, or if it was my “first job”. People now assume I’m mid 30s.

Outside of work, I am very happy to look younger than I am, but my industry is stuffed with grey haired men, so it is a bit of a pain professionally.

Haha no I didn't know this. If it makes you feel better I'm on universal credit and getting into more and more debt by the day.

Yes outside of work it isn't an issue at all other than the one time I was mistaken for my partner's child, it's just at work that it bothers the living daylights out of me.

@EgyptAdvice sorry op there just been an influx of threads like this recently.
Do you have a very girly voice? Maybe you could try updating your hair and wardrobe.

😂

Was just going to say this. On mumsnet people frequently have trouble dropping their kids off at nursery without being dragged into a preschool class and sat down on the magic story carpet because they look soooooo young. None of them will post pictures to show this - just take their word for it.

Most people do not look significantly younger than their age. Maybe a few years either way, but I have never, in my life, seen an adult person who could pass for a child.

I think I have a normal voice. I had no idea there were lots of threads like this, so thanks for letting me know! I can't do much about my hair as I have braids pretty much permanently, I weer smart trousers and a shirt or smart top to work. I wish I could afford to update!

Yup. 28 years old and get IDd at every bar, restaurant, supermarket.

It's very annoying especially bc DP is also a baby face. People don't take us seriously. They treat us like wayward teens. We're 10 years past adult age!!

But if you feel you aren’t being seen as competent at work I would say that isn’t because of your looks. Ask for a meeting with your superior/manager and explain that you feel you are not being taken seriously in meetings, and ask if you are performing well. Perhaps you need more confidence?

I am definitely performing well. My performance is always 'exceeding' in my reviews and my manager is complimentary.

I used to and then menopause hit and I suddenly looked like my grandmother

I had this until I hit around 40 and then boom! I miss it.

I'd loose the braids, they are a bit childlike.

Thankfully nobody questions my competency at work. Likely because I'm a harsh northerner in a room full of poshos. The accent makes a massive difference. You can see them straighten after I speak.

Maybe they are cultural?

Yep. I'm here for the posters who are 87 but look 12 and only use carbolic soap and a smear of cold beef fat as moisturiser.

And the ones who literally cannot get served in Tesco because they're 47 but EVERYONE thinks that they're 14. Everyone, all the time.

OP, have you reported the colleague who calls you demeaning names? If you're not 'taken seriously' at work, I agree that you should address it properly, and not assume it's because of your appearance?

I'd assume she means braids as in a protective hairstyle not a childish one.

I simmered with rage about my round baby face in my twenties but I’m quite happy about it now I’m well into my thirties. I tried to sign out of work the other day and was handed the sixth form sign out list. I was like, thanks 💁🏻‍♀️, but please may I have the staff one?

I'm black and have worn box braids all my life. They are not childish, they're part of my heritage.

Which kind of braids do you have OP?

I’ll be 37 on Tuesday and I get asked for ID pretty often when buying red bull. Doesn’t bother me, I find it flattering. I’ve had other people assume I graduated in the last few years because they thought I was 24, or that I was younger than my 32yo partner. One benefit to having oily skin and being so pale I burn and have to stay out the sun 😆

Yes, I look like a toddler. It does get annoying occasionally when old people are always cooing nonsense directly in my face, on the other hand, my skin is lovely

Oops, I'm sorry. Didn't mean any offence. 😣