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Original poster

Does anyone else look quite young

328 replies

EgyptAdvice · 02/04/2023 11:43

but really hate it? I'm not here to brag and I'm sure that I'll be accused of just that, but this is genuinely something which bothers me quite a lot. I'm in my mid 30s, but don't feel I get taken seriously because I look young. I was recently asked if I was my partner's daughter (we are no longer together, he's only 8 years older than me, but he still brings this up lightheartedly) and feel I don't get taken seriously at work when in male dominated meetings. I'm constantly being told I look young and one of the men at work called me 'babyface' which felt quite demeaning. It no longer feels like a compliment (such as if you get asked for ID when buying alcohol) but more like a running joke. I'm constantly googling 'ways to make yourself look older'. Am I being unreasonable that commenting on someone's appearance like this isn't ok? Or should I just take it as a compliment?

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 02/04/2023 16:55

LozzaChops101 · 02/04/2023 16:49

I have a ridiculous babyface and it’s shite for work and general social interactions I think. I’m 37 and people seem to think I’m mid twenties. It doesn’t help that I’m quite reserved I think. The whole thing was brought up at my last job as a problem to be dealt with. The coach the boss got in just told me to wear heavy rimmed glasses. 🙄

It’s definitely bad for dating too.

How was this brought up at work? Your boss said ‘you look mid twenties and that means this is a big problem, we need to get you a coach so that you do not look 25.’ That sounds really odd. And why would someone who is mid twenties not be able to competently function at work?

Zipps · 02/04/2023 16:59

My dmum is 86 and was asked for ID the other day. Luckily I have her Genes.
Seriously by the time people are in their
50's /60's + they either no longer give a shit/are happy to still be alive/ use smoke and mirrors ie Botox/ or look at the younger generations in general and think no thanks I'd rather have a few wrinkles than look like that.

Pamandmickcharlesandcamilla · 02/04/2023 17:01

There are threads about this all the time, no one ever posts photos to show us the ‘problem’ though 🤔

In real life I’ve known one woman who went on and on about how much younger than her age she looked “people always think I’m at least ten years younger”, I thought she looked about 58, so I assumed she must be about 65-68, turned out she was 54 and absolutely did not look 44 or younger!

WTFTwinings · 02/04/2023 17:04

These threads always remind me that anyone can say any old crap on the internet and no one is any the wiser Grin

Absolutely hilarious some of these comments. People in their mid - late 40's being mistaken for teenagers. I too would love to see the photos, but we never, ever will 😂

Cosycover · 02/04/2023 17:05

I look younger than I am. Late 20s as opposed to late 30s. But I don't get asked for ID anymore and the door to door sales people no longer ask if my mum is home.

Oh well

Zipps · 02/04/2023 17:11

Funny it only seems to be people with important careers where for some reason they really need to look older that look young.
Eventually when you have worked full time forever the stress will get to you and you'll start to look your age.

Firefly86 · 02/04/2023 17:14

I had my daughter when I was 41. My husband was 44. At the school gates, he's often mistaken for her grandad... (he's very grey, so from a distance he probably looks older than he is).
I'm often told I don't look my age. I'm 49 now but have had other school mums be incredulous that I'm even over 40! I think I'm starting to look my age more now though 🤔

LuckyC27 · 02/04/2023 17:15

Its sometimes annoying - I look like a baby I think because of my round face and I’m also 5ft. Never been overly bothered about being asked for I’d as I always have Id on me but recently someone called me a super young mum and I asked what they meant and they said well your what 21/22 when I’m 30 😬

Maireas · 02/04/2023 17:17

LunaNorth · 02/04/2023 11:45

Not me, I look as old as fuck.

Bless you for that 😂😂 !! There's another thread running with everyone claiming to look at least 10 years younger, and someone claiming 20 years! 😉

Confused19831983 · 02/04/2023 17:19

I love all the posts from people saying women in their 30s and 40s look young because they are young. I had never thought of it like that before. At 40 I feel just as good as I did when I was in my 20s, if not better as I am no longer chain smoking or going out and getting hammered all the time.

Confused19831983 · 02/04/2023 17:20

... and I totally agree we are conditioned to believe 40 or even 30 is old for a woman. It's not the same for men at all.

Maireas · 02/04/2023 17:20

WTFTwinings · 02/04/2023 17:04

These threads always remind me that anyone can say any old crap on the internet and no one is any the wiser Grin

Absolutely hilarious some of these comments. People in their mid - late 40's being mistaken for teenagers. I too would love to see the photos, but we never, ever will 😂

These threads always go the same way. It's a problem and a disadvantage? In a society where youth is valued as a quality, anti ageing products sell by the shedload and women who age are invisible?
On the other thread everyone is claiming to look at least 10 years younger! It's actually quite amusing.

Maireas · 02/04/2023 17:22

Cosycover · 02/04/2023 17:05

I look younger than I am. Late 20s as opposed to late 30s. But I don't get asked for ID anymore and the door to door sales people no longer ask if my mum is home.

Oh well

To be fair, there's not much difference between late 20s and late 30s, most people don't change that much at that point.

Ponoka7 · 02/04/2023 17:24

My DD is 25, so is her friend. They both look in their early/mid twenties. My DD never gets I.D'd but her friend does. It's about persona as well, I think and having to I.D a certain amount. Going on the thread about sunscreen, as said, everyone on here is staying young while the rest of us turn haggard.

LunaNorth · 02/04/2023 17:24

I got mistaken for a teacher when I was at school (very loose uniform policy) so I guess it’s been the same issue all my life.

Maireas · 02/04/2023 17:26

WhatFreshHeckle · 02/04/2023 12:04

🤣

I'm 96 but I'm constantly being ID'ed myself. I cry myself to sleep over it. It is AWFUL and you have no idea how I have suffered making it to this age and never being taken seriously as an adult 😢

Show quote history

It's just dreadful, isn't it? I go into restaurants and they get a high chair out for me and some colouring books.
Join me on the other Looking So Young thread, similar posts.

Kanaloa · 02/04/2023 17:26

LuckyC27 · 02/04/2023 17:15

Its sometimes annoying - I look like a baby I think because of my round face and I’m also 5ft. Never been overly bothered about being asked for I’d as I always have Id on me but recently someone called me a super young mum and I asked what they meant and they said well your what 21/22 when I’m 30 😬

I’m always surprised by stuff like this as well. What type of conversationally constipated people do some of the else babyfaced mumsnetters meet? I actually had my son as a young teen and never ever experienced people approaching me and saying ‘wow you are surely a SUPER YOUNG MUM’ followed by them giving me estimates on what they think my age might be. That would be considered a bit socially odd, almost rude. The only time I’ve ever seen age guessing in normal conversation is when people do the incredibly annoying ‘guess how old I am, how old do you think I am’ at which point of course everyone guesses young because it’s clear they’re fishing for a compliment!

LozzaChops101 · 02/04/2023 17:28

Kanaloa · 02/04/2023 16:55

How was this brought up at work? Your boss said ‘you look mid twenties and that means this is a big problem, we need to get you a coach so that you do not look 25.’ That sounds really odd. And why would someone who is mid twenties not be able to competently function at work?

Show quote history

I was the only woman, and the only person under 40 in a buying team. I was inherited by a very assertive and confident female boss who I think probably worried that I wouldn't keep up, and she ham-fistedly tried to help. I don't think it was just about looking younger than I was - it was looking younger, being less domineering than others in my department and probably being female. There's only so much of that that is "fixable." This was about 7 years ago so I was even babier-of-face. And it was a bonkers small business where things are done in weird ways by bosses who have always done things in weird ways. I don't know. She actually took me out for lunch to discuss it. Small businesses are weird.

Maireas · 02/04/2023 17:29

@Kanaloa - in which case everyone lops 10 years off so as not to appear rude..

DrunkTrampolining · 02/04/2023 17:29

I have never met anyone in real life that looks any more than about 5-8 years younger than they are. I’ve met a few people that think they look much younger, they don’t, but obviously no one says anything so they continue to think it.

I remember posters on here saying they were mid 30s but got mistaken for young teens and someone whose mum was 70 and would pass for 40. It’s delusion.

roselune · 02/04/2023 17:30

I've always been mistaken for younger too. I'm now 40. I don't often get asked for ID now and don't think anyone assumes I'm a teenager but certainly late 20s/early 30s. I was recently asked if I was over 30 in a context where it definitely wasn't an empty compliment but a genuine question.

And no, I won't post photos here because I don't want to see them in the Daily Mail or have clients from work see them 😬

Maireas · 02/04/2023 17:32

@roselune , so how does this come up in conversation that you look 20 years younger than your age?.

roselune · 02/04/2023 17:34

Maireas · 02/04/2023 17:32

@roselune , so how does this come up in conversation that you look 20 years younger than your age?.

Someone I knew was 30 themselves saying they'd wondered if I was younger than they are.

AnonKat · 02/04/2023 17:35

I look younger, but that's due to a fat face! I'm in my 30's but I look around 25.

I get asked for ID for paracetamol all the time!

I think if I lose weight though I will suddenly look older than I am!

Toiletfriend · 02/04/2023 17:35

I don't wear make up, am quite scruffy with tattoos and piercings. I don't project a more groomed mature look. I have coloured hair.

People usually think I am much younger than I am at 42 but I don't take it as a compliment as such. I think if I had a glamorous make over I'd look older.