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Original poster

Was my daughter cheeky or not?

130 replies

Apricodonut · 02/04/2023 10:47

My daughter (early 20s) had a slight situation at work and is now worried sick that she was in the wrong.

Just for a bit of context- my daughter has been raised to be independent, confident and most of all honest. However, she has also been taught not to be forceful, domineering and cocky. She’s an intelligent young woman who is capable of standing up for what she believes is correct. I’m very proud of her but as her parent not blind to the fact she can be in the wrong too!

At her work, there was talk of a pay rise. Her manager had explicitly said there would be a pay rise for everyone as recognition for their hard work. It had been built up over the last few months to generate some excitement. Last week she had her individual meeting to discuss her pay rise and was told it was going up by certain amount. My daughter immediately realised this amount was actually the new minimum wage and that the pay rise was not due to hard work but due to the increase in the minimum wage. She said she wasn’t bothered by not getting a pay rise in the first place, but felt it was disingenuous to suggest the new pay was due to hard work as has been said rather than due to a new minimum wage. My daughter said she pointed this out, and that while she was happy with the pay she also wasnt happy that they were suggesting it was a generous pay increase rather than just the law. Her manager disagreed and said it was a pay rise for hard work. My daughter said this isn’t the first time something like this has happened and that she stood her ground that the situation was dishonest and misleading. She said it turned into a lengthy discussion about it but eventually it was left that she was unhappy with the situation as it was handled.

Just to clarify she is never rude or aggressive and is actually a strong debater, but sometimes she struggles to know when to leave something for the greater good even though it may be correct

She said her manager is clearly annoyed at her now and she regrets speaking up. She’s considering formally apologising but I thought it would be worthwhile getting some other opinions and thoughts on the situation first.

TIA x

OP posts:
Greensleevevssnotnose · 02/04/2023 10:50

Well none of us including you were there so we can't possibly know. I would suggest the manager was probably embarrassed to be caught out.

strawberryjeans · 02/04/2023 10:50

Nope, the manager is trying to pull a fast one! Good on your daughter. I’d be very wary of him and the company if I were her

Mangomingo · 02/04/2023 10:51

She’s young, intelligent, capable etc etc. Tell her to get out of this minimum wage job with a a crap company and don’t look back.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 02/04/2023 10:51

Well she's not in the wrong, is she?

She might want to reflect on how she had the conversation, was there a point in which she could have drawn it to a close gracefully, was she actually rude? But in her argument, she was not wrong and her manager was being really, really stupid to think that she (and the rest of her team) would believe it was anything else rather than the minimum wage rise.

LeilaDarling · 02/04/2023 10:52

Good for her!

RudsyFarmer · 02/04/2023 10:52

I like her style. She shouldn’t apologise. She’s shown she is super smart and not to pull the wool over her eyes in the future.

iamrageohtheresakitty · 02/04/2023 10:53

Why are you referring to a grown woman as "cheeky"? She's not a naughty child.
And it sounds like she's an assertive and intelligent woman, she's done nothing wrong here.

twoandcooplease · 02/04/2023 10:54

Mangomingo · 02/04/2023 10:51

She’s young, intelligent, capable etc etc. Tell her to get out of this minimum wage job with a a crap company and don’t look back.

I agree this company doesn't deserve her she should find employment with a company that will appreciate her and her good work

Dillydollydingdong · 02/04/2023 10:56

She shouldn't apologize for being right. The manager should be apologizing to her for lying to the staff. Just let it go, and look for a more honest company.

Original poster
Apricodonut · 02/04/2023 10:56

iamrageohtheresakitty · 02/04/2023 10:53

Why are you referring to a grown woman as "cheeky"? She's not a naughty child.
And it sounds like she's an assertive and intelligent woman, she's done nothing wrong here.

I was using her exact wording as that’s what she was concerned about. Also, cheeky isn’t just a word for children.

OP posts:
luckylavender · 02/04/2023 11:00

@Apricodonut - for many companies this is a big pay rise and they have no choice. Things are very difficult for businesses currently due to the same pressures we all face. They could off course lay people off rather than roll it out.

Streamside · 02/04/2023 11:00

Is she a union member? She should consider joining a union to help her in dealing with these sort of issues.I'd be very proud of her regarding how she dealt with the situation.

EgyptAdvice · 02/04/2023 11:00

Cheeky is a perfectly fine word to use, but tour daughter isn't it. Good for her for standing her ground.

PonyPatter44 · 02/04/2023 11:00

It's not "cheeky " to challenge your manager. Your tone, choice of words and attitude could well be cheeky, but none of us were there so we don't know.

However, I think your DD sounds switched on and smart, and can almost certainly do better for herself than working for minimum wage with a shonky manager. Has she got an up to date CV?

DarkDarkNight · 02/04/2023 11:05

Your daughter was in the right. The company are forced by law to give the wage rise whether they believe people deserve it or have worked hard. Good for your daughter for pointing out the obvious and not letting them pull the wool over her eyes.

Completely disingenuous on their part to say they are doing it in recognition of hard work. If they really believed that they would be awarding a pay increase above the minimum wage. It’s a very underhand tactic, hopefully everyone will see that.

LakeTiticaca · 02/04/2023 11:10

At her age I wouldn't have challenged it. As I got older and started to better recognise bullshit, I started to challenge things I didn't agree with or thought were bullshit. I'm quite proud of the things I spoke out about, including defending colleagues who I felt were being bullied .
Good on your daughter and tell her to keep on developing her bullshit radar 😉

Baabaa75 · 02/04/2023 11:15

I work in HR and good on your daughter, the manager is annoyed because they've been caught out trying to pull a fast one. Don't apologise, she's done nothing wrong 💐

Rabblemum · 02/04/2023 11:16

Were you bought up to never offend upset or offend anyone? If so you may see your daughters attitude as extreme but really she's just not going along with bad programming. Young women are more assertive, it's great.

Baabaa75 · 02/04/2023 11:18

luckylavender · 02/04/2023 11:00

@Apricodonut - for many companies this is a big pay rise and they have no choice. Things are very difficult for businesses currently due to the same pressures we all face. They could off course lay people off rather than roll it out.

So what, life is hard for everyone it still doesn't mean you can LIE to your staff 🤔

America12 · 02/04/2023 11:19

luckylavender · 02/04/2023 11:00

@Apricodonut - for many companies this is a big pay rise and they have no choice. Things are very difficult for businesses currently due to the same pressures we all face. They could off course lay people off rather than roll it out.

But they shouldn't dress it up like they're being generous. They're just following the law.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/04/2023 11:19

She shouldn’t apologise. She should look for something better paid where her skills are actually valued.

ATerrorofLeftovers · 02/04/2023 11:20

Mangomingo · 02/04/2023 10:51

She’s young, intelligent, capable etc etc. Tell her to get out of this minimum wage job with a a crap company and don’t look back.

THIS.

They’re taking her and her colleagues for mugs. I’d bet this isn’t the only thing they’re dishonest about. A culture of taking good workers for granted isn’t a good culture to work in. She was 100% in the ugly and shouldn’t apologise. She should also look an another job somewhere else where they appreciate her work and abilities.

youveturnedupwelldone · 02/04/2023 11:21

Good on her, I hope she keeps that approach up through her life.

The manager was dishonest - he had to give the pay rise didn't he, and used it as an opportunity make himself look good.

ATerrorofLeftovers · 02/04/2023 11:21

in the right, not ugly!!

iPhone autocorrect, WTF?!

WhatFreshHeckle · 02/04/2023 11:22

Agree with everyone else that she should not apologise and should look for a better job. That's crap of them. Good for her for pulling them up on it

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