Am I unreasonable to have a third baby?

[To3ornot]

Hello MNs

I know this has been done to death but I really need some outside perspective.

Our situation:

• married 10 years
• two children age 4 & 23 months
• own house with mortgage 5 beds
• big car (electric) so wouldn’t need to change it
• always wanted 3
• I’m stay at home mum
• household income approx £90k

Both of us have always wanted three but now I’m second guessing myself. I’ve breastfed both of mine for a long time, over two years my eldest and still going with DD now at 21 months.

Ds is starting school in September and DD will go to preschool two mornings a week so I feel like I’m just getting back to myself a bit more. My eldest didn’t sleep until he was 2 and DD still not sleeping through yet.

Im just wondering if the benefit of having an extra sibling is worth it for the children or whether they would be better off us splitting our time/ money/ emotional resources between just the two of them.

If you were one of three would you mind sharing how you found it? Especially if you had this sort of age gap (about 3 years between). Or if you’ve got three how do you find it?

Im so torn because on paper it looks like a no brainier to me that we can do it but then I’m so worried about another 3 years of feeding/ no sleep and the impact on my current children plus then down the line uni fees etc. I go back and forth every day!

Is there anything I’ve not thought about?

Voting: YABU to have another YANBU to have another

Not every woman is maternal when they have and bring up their children. I however was very maternal that's why I had 4 children. You can tell by how a woman treats her children whether they are maternal or not. Some women loved carrying and giving birth but they hated what comes after that. The reality of having to deal with another human being that has come from them with their own thoughts and desires is not an easy task and you either enjoy it or you loathe it.

Children are a blessing and should be enjoyed and loved and op if you feel you have more love to give then by all means give it.

Hi op best of luck. I have 2. A few friends have 3. Just more juggling. I do think it depends on age gaps too. Some had a 3rd but other two at school. So bit of a breather.

@To3ornot

"This is such a lovely comment thank you so much."

You are very welcome. X

Why ask strangers on the internet. I'm expecting my third and its no one's business but me and my partners.

Congratulations!

Hopefully I’ve explained in my posts why I’m asking, I’ve found it really useful to think through the pros and cons. I’m not someone to make quick decisions on things that will affect my family so it’s useful for me to think through things.

It sounds like you want 3 and are well off. If so go for it and don't overthink it.

I'm tempted to try for a third child but our household income is a third of yours and we have 2 bedrooms....but I think we would make it work somehow (although not trying just now)