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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a little miserable

449 replies

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:27

We are supposed to be flying out this afternoon on a big family holiday. First big holiday since our plans were cancelled in April 2020 - and with us both working in the NHS we could do with the break

Unfortunately DP has started with a migraine this morning. Happens once every few months. Severe headache, paracetamol and ibuprofen not touching it. Doesn’t look like we can fly today - and no flights tomorrow

Obviously we are all a bit pissed off about this - but DP has just told me off for being miserable and said I need to snap out of this. Given this is a much wanted holiday - and we’ll probably not be covered by insurance for this - am I allowed to wallow in a little misery?

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 02/04/2023 10:38

L3ThirtySeven · 02/04/2023 08:43

Lots of posters apparently think a migraine is simply a bad headache and not understanding that you can’t snap out of them, or suck it up, or that staying home is same pain as going through airports and on a long haul flight.

Migraines are debilitating for as long as they last. And you have no choice as to when they happen.

Still, the travel insurance should cover his portion being rebooked for free.

I understand that perhaps he cannot fly, but there is nothing stopping everyone else.

Thisgirlcan21 · 02/04/2023 10:38

Seriously I would go ahead. They can catch up another day.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/04/2023 10:39

Ridiculous for the rest of you not to just go and enjoy yourselves.

shakeitoffsis · 02/04/2023 10:40

Go on holiday. And him. He will have to sleep on the flight eye mask ear phones etc. wouldn't even cross my mind not to go and I'm a migraine sufferer.

maddening · 02/04/2023 10:40

If I was your wife I would tell you to go.

thebestbirtheraccordingtoDD · 02/04/2023 10:40

She needs stronger painkillers for a start. Hopefully she can rally enough to get going and sleep on the plane. As soon as possible give her some proper medication.

Poppyblush · 02/04/2023 10:40

Sorry but won’t someone think of the children!! Just go!

turtlemurtle1982 · 02/04/2023 10:41

I think you should either go on ahead and leave your dp come later. What use is if you all being miserable at home?

Alternatively I'd tell her to suck it up and make the journey as comfortable as possible. Big hat, sunglasses, maybe try and get special assistance then eye mask and sleep on plane.

kindlyensure · 02/04/2023 10:41

(I have been loaded on to a plane this way when it happened to me - because they do, as others have said, just <ping> with no warning - and blissfully, the air hostess took pity on me and upgraded me to a remarkably empty club class row so I was able to stretch out and sleep the whole flight. So I know having a migraine is not a precursor to not being allowed on a flight)

FfeminyddCymraeg · 02/04/2023 10:41

There’s no way, on this god’s green earth, that I wouldn’t be on that flight this afternoon. Wife or no wife.

Seriously, if it’s that bad she can’t come and needs to catch you up, so be it.

I would never cancel a holiday for a migraine - it’ll go eventually and then you’re sat at home doing what exactly? Sod that!

Get on the flight!!!

shakeitoffsis · 02/04/2023 10:41

Sorry I just RTFT, *SHE should go

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 02/04/2023 10:44

My dd sat a gcse exam with a debilitating migraine, there was a bucket at the side of her desk. They moved her to a dark room to sit it.

She managed, it must be much harder than managing on a plane. And if you’ve got Triptans it’s worth taking them, even if you’ve missed the window of opportunity.

WilsonMilson · 02/04/2023 10:44

I suffer from migraine, with aura, every few months. I usually have to lie down in a dark room and it can make me feel quite sick. I would still absolutely drag myself on a plane and go on the damn holiday. He needs to man the fuck up. I would be livid.

LordVoldemort86 · 02/04/2023 10:45

He’s so not allowed to go without her.

Smogtopia · 02/04/2023 10:45

I'd be begging you to go without me ESPECIALLY if I was going to be letting my children down. Absolutely cripplingly selfish for everyone to miss out

SeeWhatYouGetWhenYouAskAStupidQuestion · 02/04/2023 10:47

Testina · 02/04/2023 08:35

Why can’t he fly?
Will it make it worse? (like he needs to be in a dark room to avoid 2x the pain?)
migraines are awful but if he’s going to be in just as much pain home or away, he could go.

Buy some IMIGRAN and just go

Wheresthebeach · 02/04/2023 10:47

Smogtopia · 02/04/2023 10:45

I'd be begging you to go without me ESPECIALLY if I was going to be letting my children down. Absolutely cripplingly selfish for everyone to miss out

Absolutely this! I can’t believe she expects everyone to miss out. Madness. Just go.

America12 · 02/04/2023 10:48

Baabaa75 · 02/04/2023 10:33

Go and he'll have to follow when he can, one person is more likely to get a cancellation than all of you. I bet he'd get a flight tomorrow. Can't believe he's not suggested it, why would you all miss out?

It's op's wife

WilsonMilson · 02/04/2023 10:48

Just rtft, and my feelings stand from previous post. She needs to woman the fuck up and get on the damn plane. I have had crippling migraines where even light or any noise would be almost intolerable and I would STILL go on a holiday.

lap90 · 02/04/2023 10:50

There's no reason why being well you and your teenage kids cannot travel.

But if wallowing in your misery makes you feel better...

Viviennemary · 02/04/2023 10:51

The whole famoly holiday ruined because somebody's got a headache. Even a severe one. Why hasn't he got No medication for it if it's so debilitating.

Myneighbourskia · 02/04/2023 10:52

If I were her, I would bring medicine and a bag to vomit into and just go. So selfish to make everyone miss out. I've travelled ill before. It's not much fun but you suck it up.

Schnooze · 02/04/2023 10:52

Op?

LadyLapsang · 02/04/2023 11:00

If you are the father of the children and your DP is well enough to manage on her own, perhaps with friends / neighbours keeping an eye on her, I would go. Make sure you have a letter of whatever is required for you to travel with the children as you are unmarried.

rookiemere · 02/04/2023 11:00

Does she actually want to go on holiday?
The last few times my DPs tried to go away, DM would have severe stomach cramps at the airport and collapse. I always think it was a panic attack but she refused to admit it.

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