To Message the doc that treated DD

[MisschiefMaker]

Just found the doctors LinkedIn.

AIBU to message her to ask her why she lied to me to get me to agree to give my DD medication that has left her with lifelong damage, when there was nothing wrong with her. I can also include that i pray no other innocent babies are harmed by her every day.

Or should I message her family members instead.

Or just forget about it and move on? She thought she was doing the right thing, after all, and lots of doctors have god complexes.

Because your thinking about it seems to be obsessive or misplaced. It’s hard to say because you have given so little information. However from what you have said and thought about doing I think you should make it a matter of some urgency, as it’s not within the range of a ‘normal’ thought process

I don't really want to get into the details of my DDs health condition because it won't help - some posters will start extrapolating and making things up which will confuse the essential point.

And you don't have to. A lot of posters (not all) on numsnet who claim they want more details before giving advice are just being nosy or will probably do so from a biased pov, as you rightly said. You've been given advice already on the point of the thread which is to not message online but go through the proper channels. Details of your child's illness wouldn’t change that.

And it's unpleasant to read people already making assumptions on details from their own bias.

I also agree it may be worth it to see a professional as you may "snap" again one day and actually fo something instead of just asking on here or speaking to your dh. You may need more help to process, let go and heal.

If you don't feel you need to, it's your call. I wish you and your family the best. 💐

To clarify your point about how they would definitely respond if the medication made her poorly: my email wasn't really a very aggressive complaint and I didn't mention that my DD had indeed fallen victim to the risks of the medication, so do you think that may explain why they didn't respond?

In my DD medical records - which I requested 6 months after leaving the hospital - it says a consultant advised that DD not be given more medication but this was never conveyed to me (despite me being there all the time and incessantly asking the doctors when she can stop with the treatment) and yet they continued to give it to her even after this recommendation. In my email to PALs I said I was worried they had been frivolous here and can they explain what happened and why this alternative view was ignored and why wasn't the mother informed.

I didn't go into the fact that she should never have been given it in the first place, or any of the issues we've experienced since. Maybe they thought I was asking about a trivial thing rather than making a genuine complaint. Or maybe they didn't know the answer as the answer can't be found in the medical records and I waited several months to email in. It was a short and polite email.

It doesn't really make any difference now anyway. I can't go back in time.

Thank you for your kindness.

What would have happened without the medication?

There is an antibiotic that is given to people who are very ill. It saves lives but can also cause deafness or blindness in some patients.

There is a test that can be done (not sure if.its available a ross UK yet) which will quickly indicate if that could be the case for the patient and if so an alternative med can be given. But until the test was available the safest route was treat the illness first and save the life.

If it's this sort of situation. Then the medication was needed and did the first priority and the child recovered.

I think if you are considering stalking and harassing a doctor’s relatives it is possible your recollection of the discussion is not quite as objective and clear as you may believe.

its apalling that the hospital hasn’t even responded to your initial correspondence. Write in again, with full details, stating that if they don’t respond within 2 weeks you will go to the GMC. And then do

You definitely shouldn’t contact her family members! Whatever she has done to you/DD, that is not the route to go down.

Please follow this. I am so sorry your dd has been adversely affected by medication.

I have also had several reactions to drugs as an adult, which have left me permanently changed, disabled. Chronic fatigue. So I do understand. But to happen to one so young, my heart goes out to you.

I hope your dd will improve.

You are angry enough to harass a dr online but not angry enough to actually submit a full complaint explaining what happened?

How do you know the health condition is as a result? Has this been diagnoses by a professional or have you juat decided thats the reason?

You are purposely witholding facts- there was no point you making this thread.

You have been giving Sage insightful advice allready....

Your reluctance to confirm or deny if you’re thinking your child has a ‘vaccine injury’ confirms it

I don't really understand this.

You've written to the hospital but it wasn't a complaint and you didn't tell them.your daughter is experiening issues because - in your view - of the medication given.

Why didn't you tell them, if it was such a big issue? Also, you say your daughter was 2 hours old when this happened, which suggests it was an emergency situation. Was you husband there and did he agree to the treatment?

This sounds awful, go back to PALS and also copy in the chief of medicine and the hospital director stating the notes are lies to cover their own backs and PALS didn't respond after their first generic letter.
Good luck

No it doesn't. She said she handed her baby over after a couple of hours and a consultant said to give baby no more medication and they continued to.

Baby's don't get vaccinated so soon after birth. They'd only have one shot of vitamin K at most. This clearly isn't a vaccination thread and she's not answering because people like you will jump on her whatever the medication.

This is a child's life. Not some internet sport for you to practice your mental gymnastics.

Sorry your baby isn't well and its understandable that you have unanswered questions and probably feeling some guilt as new parents (you shouldn't- you were taking medical advice).

I think the PPs who have extrapolated from your posts that you are an anti vaxxer or a lunatic have, luckily for them, never had to deal with this type of situation. There's no evidence that you are anything other than a very upset mother of a newborn child who wants some answers

It sounds like talking it through with DH has helped. When you're calmer I would consider both of you drafting a carefully considered proper complaint and asking for some legal advice. It won't help your family if you're arrested for threatening or harassing a member of the medical profession.

Very interesting username…

Is you baby likely to need lifelong care?

Perhaps taking legal advice is the way forward to secure your babies future financially? I’ve watched my cousins funding for care cut dramatically last couple of years to barely anything. His mum and dad are well in their 60’s and (stoically!) struggling.

Negligence is very difficult to prove. Conversations are generally documented with a nurse witness. It will be a toss up between the the life long changes being deemed preferable to the outcome had it not been administered.

Im sorry you feel in such turmoil. After my DS was very sick it took me 12/18 months to recover mentally. It was torturous. I could not think straight. I was very very angry to begin with, diagnosed with PTSD.

Under no circumstances contact the doctor or the family, you will lose all moral stance.

Indeed

Angry enough to turn to social media stalking/harassment

Not angry enough to ACTUALLY submit a complaint

Alright then.

She has said that her baby was a few hours old and having inpatient treatment with multiple doses of the drug, so I doubt that's it.

As I say before, repeat

Intriguing username, @MisschiefMaker

(Very interestingly chosen ) !

Some medications cause side effects but they are worth it, my son for example had horrific reflux as a baby following antibiotics at 3 days old, they thought he had sepsis, thank God it wasn't but we'd a year of hell with reflux. If I'd to live it again I'd still rather he had the Antibiotics on balance of risk.

He also was a victim of some poor medical judgement and has long term medical problems as a result, I DID complain and got a full apology and the doctor had to undergo further training and it helped me immensely to do that and have it acknowledged.

If there really is an issue send a further complaint with details of further problems, complaints are dealt with extremely seriously against clinicians.

If however it's vaccine issues and no known direct causal factor and you're just being hard on the situation because you're coming to terms with a sick child, that is understandable but counselling is what you need, accepting a child's illness whatever the cause is very hard.

Good luck, don't message anyone on linked in, that's stalkerish behaviour