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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Message the doc that treated DD

156 replies

MisschiefMaker · 02/04/2023 00:21

Just found the doctors LinkedIn.

AIBU to message her to ask her why she lied to me to get me to agree to give my DD medication that has left her with lifelong damage, when there was nothing wrong with her. I can also include that i pray no other innocent babies are harmed by her every day.

Or should I message her family members instead.

Or just forget about it and move on? She thought she was doing the right thing, after all, and lots of doctors have god complexes.

OP posts:
hourbyhour101 · 02/04/2023 00:56

Without the specifics- we here have no idea how best to advise you.

What medication was given and what age was your daughter at the time ?

I'm so sorry your daughter is poorly.

But frankly if the medication was proven to have caused your daughter to be unwell. It's highly unlikely they wouldn't respond. Just from a legal perspective.

I have some weird feeling this is about vaccinations or some type of anti pro choice thing. Obviously I hope I'm mistaken.

hourbyhour101 · 02/04/2023 00:58

Also not being funny but I wouldn't be contacting relatives on fb or social media unless you want to be done for slander and or harassment.

Regardless of what transpired- and if there was something that proves the doctor negligent I don't think it would show kindly on your case ..

DemonCopperhead · 02/04/2023 01:01

Newname221 · 02/04/2023 00:37

I agree. My spider senses are tingling. I’ve just got a feeling this is going to turn into some sort of anti vax thing or similar. If my child had genuinely been the victim of medical negligence, I’d be contacting a lawyer, not mumsnet.

Show quote history

Yep, I sense a ‘vaccine injury’ reveal coming up

ladydimitrescu · 02/04/2023 01:04

More detail is needed if you would like anyone to advise if you have a case for medical negligence.
Absolutely do not contact the doctor, and even more so do not contact her family!

Whattt44 · 02/04/2023 01:05

Christ! Don't contact the family.

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 01:07

MisschiefMaker · 02/04/2023 00:29

I just can't believe I only had my baby in my arms a couple of hours before I handed her over to someone who would harm her. How do I get past that?

You need to seek counselling. I sincerely doubt a doctor ‘lied’. Treatment can go wrong. There is a facility to deal with that. Make a complaint through the appropriate channels. Do not under any circumstances contact the doctor directly. Seek help from the appropriate sources including for yourself.

Dotcheck · 02/04/2023 01:08

Contact their relatives?
Bonkers.
Why would you drag their Aunt Mildred, or cousin Sharon into this?

WhoToldYou · 02/04/2023 01:08

A little more context is needed. Was the child extremely ill, where death was a likely outcome? Was it that the treatment had risks but not having the treatment would mean an even worse outcome (the lesser of the evils, if you like)?

You may have a case of medical negligence/malpractice but should be handled by a lawyer, not through social media.

Whattt44 · 02/04/2023 01:08

What medication did they give? Was your baby unwell?

WimbourneWasps · 02/04/2023 01:21

Wtf?

JudgeRudy · 02/04/2023 01:28

What are you trying to achieve? Are you expecting the doctor will tell you she's sorry she lied and its all her fault? Or do you just want to vent your anger?
I'm assuming you have your daughter's medical notes as you are disputing an entry. If you let the doctor know that you had researched the pros and cons of the procedure and felt it was 'too risky' then she said the chances of the 'bad thing' happening was very unlikely then you agreed to the procedure, then the notes are accurate. If she said she had been working for 20 years and had never once seen 'bad thing' happen, that's also an accurate entry. If she said 'I guarantee nothing bad will happen' then she's lied. Before the procedure you(or another parent/guardian) will have been asked to sign you agree and that the risks have been discussed. If you've not read what you've signed there's no comeback. Of course it could have been a very simple procedure but unfortunately something went badly wrong. That happens. If you want her tob'accept blame' you have got to somehow prove her actions were unreasonable. It doesn't sound like they were, but it does sound like you're in shock and are in a very bad place emotionally. I'd concentrate on sorting you first. Request to speak to a counsellor as a matter of urgency.
I hope you get the help and support you and your family deserve

RosesAndHellebores · 02/04/2023 01:40

PALs registered letter. Response required within 10 working days. If no response:

CEO registered letter. Response required within 10 working days if no response:

MP registered letter. Response required in 10 working days and include registered letters to which there may have been no response.

Don't contact via social media. However, professionals in public facing roles do themselves no favours by having open FBook and other SM accounts on which they post all sorts of personal details and personal, political crap. That is not the fault or responsibility of those who google.

Readytoplay · 02/04/2023 01:49

Seeing as you are withholding all the details, let me guess?

Your an anti-vax (which is ultimately your choice). Said GP told you the FACTS of the vacation and managed to convince your child to have the vax. You child was given the vaccination. They have now been diagnosed with autism (or has turned out to be SEN/Nurodivigent in some other way). You blame this on the vaccination and, as a result, the GP responsible.

Op, Am I correct?

Eyerollcentral · 02/04/2023 01:50

RosesAndHellebores · 02/04/2023 01:40

PALs registered letter. Response required within 10 working days. If no response:

CEO registered letter. Response required within 10 working days if no response:

MP registered letter. Response required in 10 working days and include registered letters to which there may have been no response.

Don't contact via social media. However, professionals in public facing roles do themselves no favours by having open FBook and other SM accounts on which they post all sorts of personal details and personal, political crap. That is not the fault or responsibility of those who google.

Fgs it’s a LinkedIn account which professional people are encouraged to have. It’s not pics of their holidays on Facebook

Readytoplay · 02/04/2023 01:51

Readytoplay · 02/04/2023 01:49

Seeing as you are withholding all the details, let me guess?

Your an anti-vax (which is ultimately your choice). Said GP told you the FACTS of the vacation and managed to convince your child to have the vax. You child was given the vaccination. They have now been diagnosed with autism (or has turned out to be SEN/Nurodivigent in some other way). You blame this on the vaccination and, as a result, the GP responsible.

Op, Am I correct?

This should say: Convinced YOU to allow your child to have the vax

Meandfour · 02/04/2023 01:53

Readytoplay · 02/04/2023 01:49

Seeing as you are withholding all the details, let me guess?

Your an anti-vax (which is ultimately your choice). Said GP told you the FACTS of the vacation and managed to convince your child to have the vax. You child was given the vaccination. They have now been diagnosed with autism (or has turned out to be SEN/Nurodivigent in some other way). You blame this on the vaccination and, as a result, the GP responsible.

Op, Am I correct?

I think you’ve got it here.

SD1978 · 02/04/2023 01:54

@Readytoplay - pretty much nailed it I reckon.....also doubt that there will be anymore responses from OP.......

HoppingPavlova · 02/04/2023 02:12

Don’t be so ridiculous. If you believe you have a valid complaint then go through the proper channels. PALS, a medico-legal service etc. You can’t stalk and harass someone, and/or their relatives on social media or you will, rightly, have legal action taken against you.

DojaPhat · 02/04/2023 02:14

What was your daughter given?

greenspaces4peace · 02/04/2023 02:15

too much to drink or teenage got a hold of your ipad because the op's other posts are perfectly sensible and no mention of sen issues in her daughter from the posts i read.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 02/04/2023 02:20

It’s much more likely to be antibiotic treatment rather than vaccines in an hours old newborn. OP- you can refer the doctor to the GMC if you think there’s a fitness to practise case to answer.

Original poster
MisschiefMaker · 02/04/2023 02:31

Ok ok I won't message her. I was just posting here because I'm upset. Feeling better now I spoke with DH who seems to have processed the whole thing better than I have.

I don't really want to get into the details of my DDs health condition because it won't help - some posters will start extrapolating and making things up which will confuse the essential point.

OP posts:
HereComesTornadoSeason · 02/04/2023 02:33

Over here my advice would be to contact an attorney,I believe you call them solicitor.If you do persue a case contacting the dr will be seen as harassment and could undermine your case,if yours is legitimate.

Original poster
MisschiefMaker · 02/04/2023 02:33

Kerfuffler · 02/04/2023 00:33

Have you considered counselling to help move forward with this?

Kind of but i imagine I would just have the same conversation going round and round and not getting anywhere because, at the end of the day, what's done is done and I can't undo it so how can I ever feel better about it?

OP posts:
Housenoob · 02/04/2023 02:36

Could you share what medication it was?