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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL going out

162 replies

Lopsylol · 01/04/2023 19:20

So I know this is none of my business just my opinion and I was wondering if people thought the same as me or not (I’m sure many of you will say it’s not my business and that’s okay I’m just someone quietly sat here in the corner it’s not like I’m actually going to say something to her)
so my SIL is literally 12 days out from having a c section and she’s going out on a boozy brunch today, her boyfriend well he’s out too because her mum has the baby tonight not sure what he is doing but AIBU to think that that is just too much too soon? Last thing I thought after having my baby was going out let alone after major surgery like surely at least one of them should be home with their new born?

OP posts:
Beaglesonlyplease · 01/04/2023 21:27

@MariaAmelie
Who said the woman is going to be drinking alcohol?
She could very easily be at best having a single drink.
Getting drunk as fuck?
Presumptuous much?
I had to leave hospital)and my baby in ICU) 2 days after a c-section and walk to and from a hotel and then use the very busy tube to travel to and from the hospital.
I was expressing milk etc.
The night before my baby was transferred back from GOSH to our local hospital (at 3 weeks old at most), I went to the pub with DH and had 2 pints.
It was the last time we ever got to go out in the evening together ever again (DH still alive but DD’s needs are such that we can’t ever leave her).
I know it’s different situations but I got back from the pub, pumped and dumped… baby fine (Pa I wasn’t allowed in after 10pm so hence pub rather than a nice dinner out) but I loved those pints.
Women aren’t born to become mothers and then martyrs

NadjaCravensworth1 · 01/04/2023 21:28

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/04/2023 20:19

I would silently judge this- is it the worse thing- no, will the child be fine- yes, is it my business- no- but, if you can’t be selfless in the first few weeks of parenting then god help you.

Again. It's brunch.

Beaglesonlyplease · 01/04/2023 21:30

Brunch people brunch

Hiddenvoice · 01/04/2023 21:34

It’s good that she feels up to going out. 4 days after my c section I felt well enough to go out walking with my baby in the pram, everyone heals differently. Although at 12 days postpartum I was a hormonal mess so a break away for a couple of hours would have done me some good.

The baby is being looked after and parents feel they need a little break. I’d leave them to it.

Royalbloo · 01/04/2023 21:49

Toottooot · 01/04/2023 20:41

Wooptie fucking ping.

THIS Star

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 01/04/2023 21:51

YABVU

Good for her!

I cannot bear the people who think of new mums aren’t miserable martyrs slaving away then they aren’t doing it properly.

Royalbloo · 01/04/2023 21:51

Why do we get judged if we can have a baby AND have some fun? Some of you are off your rockers for judging a random woman for having a bit of free time after carrying a baby for 9 months.

I bet you're the same people who see a single dad taking them to the park and hold them some sort of party. Loathsome.

Royalbloo · 01/04/2023 21:56

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/04/2023 20:19

I would silently judge this- is it the worse thing- no, will the child be fine- yes, is it my business- no- but, if you can’t be selfless in the first few weeks of parenting then god help you.

Have you had a kid?

Royalbloo · 01/04/2023 21:57

IMO growing a while person is a pretty hectic ordeal. Bravo to her.

Cosycover · 01/04/2023 22:06

Wow.

I wonder who will play her in the movie?

phoenixrosehere · 01/04/2023 22:11

GlassBunion · 01/04/2023 21:00

Oh bollox to the ' I wouldn't judge' brigade... if she's ok about then that's great but I'd be raising an eyebrow.

It’s 12 days after a c-section and going to brunch. Don’t see the issue. I raise an eyebrow at those who have baby same day, still in hospital, having a drink. My only thought is surely you could have waited until you got home but that’s their business not mine.

vodkaredbullgirl · 01/04/2023 22:11

Well done to your sil.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 01/04/2023 22:14

Lol at ‘raising an eyebrow’. She had to eat - the audacity to eat somewhere other than her home? OP have you called 101 yet?

Royalbloo · 01/04/2023 22:17

Were you not invited? I wouldn't have invited you either.

Werehalfwaythere · 01/04/2023 22:18

As unpopular an opinion as it may be....

Yes, I think 12 days old is wayyyyy to young to be away from your parents for more than an hour or so, especially overnight (If I read that right?).

It took me over a year to spend anymore than an hour or two away. I just didn't trust anyone to keep them safe.

Phoebo · 01/04/2023 22:18

Assuming she not drinking, what's the problem. Wish I had made the most of not having a baby around, days going out are now few and far between!

Mariposista · 01/04/2023 22:19

Good for her! She is hardly leaving her child home alone to go and smoke crack. Not everyone confines themselves to the sofa/bed stuffing their faces with hobnobs and expecting everyone else to fuss round them.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 01/04/2023 22:19

Phoebo · 01/04/2023 22:18

Assuming she not drinking, what's the problem. Wish I had made the most of not having a baby around, days going out are now few and far between!

What would be wrong with drinking?

Phoebo · 01/04/2023 22:20

Oh totally read that wrong, I thought 12 days before having the baby 🤣 well she may as well enjoy herself a bit, but I'd hope it wasn't too long given she has a baby that needs her and all ... I'd assume ita for a couple of hours and not a 24hr bender

LBFseBrom · 01/04/2023 22:22

You are right not to say anything but I do think twelve days post partum is a bit much to be going out and leaving a baby, especially as she had a C section. However no doubt they will survive.

Lizzt2007 · 01/04/2023 22:22

Obki · 01/04/2023 19:36

YANBU, NHS guidance is not to exert yourself too much for 6 weeks after a c-section.

Not sure sitting in a pub drinking is that physical though is it !

Lizzt2007 · 01/04/2023 22:30

MariaAmelie · 01/04/2023 21:12

So your a good mom if you go out and get drunk as fuck ( because after9 months of not drinking you absolutely get drunk from 3 glasses of wine) with a new born who's not even 2 weeks old??? What the fuck? You fuck off because if your not ready to be a mom then stay the fuck out and get drunk, don't have babies!! Plus shouldn't she supposed to pump to give her milk to the baby?? I mean it's only been 12 days it's not like she doesn't have milk at all, just saying :)

Show quote history

Eff off with your drunk on a couple of glasses of wine ! Tipsy maybe , but no where near drunk!! May not be breastfeeding so no pumping required, may have made sure there's enough for baby already, and baby is with a perfectly competent adult! Life doesn't stop when you have kids and the ' life has to revolve around the baby' brigade like you make me sick. A couple of hours out with friends does far more good than harm for new parents and should be normalised, not condemned.

Pubesofsoberness · 01/04/2023 23:16

Babies that age do not give a shit

Soontobemumof2x · 01/04/2023 23:20

Such aggressive responses.

Yes it’s too soon.

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 01/04/2023 23:24

I judge her HARD.

Fucking brunch. Just an excuse for places to charge £25 for poached eggs on toast because it's on artisan bread with seeds and has some wanky avocado concoction underneath. Ugh. I'd prefer a Wetherspoons.

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