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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL going out

162 replies

Lopsylol · 01/04/2023 19:20

So I know this is none of my business just my opinion and I was wondering if people thought the same as me or not (I’m sure many of you will say it’s not my business and that’s okay I’m just someone quietly sat here in the corner it’s not like I’m actually going to say something to her)
so my SIL is literally 12 days out from having a c section and she’s going out on a boozy brunch today, her boyfriend well he’s out too because her mum has the baby tonight not sure what he is doing but AIBU to think that that is just too much too soon? Last thing I thought after having my baby was going out let alone after major surgery like surely at least one of them should be home with their new born?

OP posts:
butterfliedtwo · 01/04/2023 19:49

She's not you, and her choices aren't your business. You're slagging her off online for living her life.

Botw1 · 01/04/2023 19:58

Omg

Phone social services.

Or ya know

Mind your own business

Magenta82 · 01/04/2023 19:58

I would have been physically fine to do this 12 days after my cesarean, I healed really easily.
I think if I had the offer of a baby sitter I would rather have slept instead of gone out, but goid for her if she wants to!

NotAnotherBathBomb · 01/04/2023 20:00

Turnipworkharder · 01/04/2023 19:39

The replies are so predictable on here.

Now if the
grandmother wanted to have the new born overnight the replies would be brutal 😁
A new born needs to bond with mum ect.

Well it depends on how the mother feels, surely this is common sense? One mother has no issue leaving her child with her mother, the other does 💁🏽‍♀️

Hbh17 · 01/04/2023 20:00

How lovely for her that she is well enough to go out! She is still her own person, not just a mother.
OP, as everyone has said, this is none of your business and you would benefit from being less judgemental.

Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 01/04/2023 20:03

Physically, it’s fine. It’s brunch not a marathon. Lots of people feel fine this far out from a C section (I did).

Emotionally I couldn’t have done more than a couple of hours, but I don’t judge people who can. And now I have a baby deep into separation anxiety part of me is rather jealous.

Noicant · 01/04/2023 20:07

Physically could have done it but the fricking sleep deprivation would have prevented me from going further than the fridge at this point. Lucky her tbh. I would have gladly handed DD over (and then whatsapped constantly for updates)

Albiboba · 01/04/2023 20:08

Turnipworkharder · 01/04/2023 19:39

The replies are so predictable on here.

Now if the
grandmother wanted to have the new born overnight the replies would be brutal 😁
A new born needs to bond with mum ect.

Is it comparable? A mother who is happy to have her mum look after the baby vs a mother who isn’t happy for a DM or MIL to look after the baby and ranting about feeling pressured on mumsnet?

Yeah they are exactly the same…obviously.

CantAskAnyoneElse · 01/04/2023 20:09

thegrain · 01/04/2023 19:29

I would be in awe she felt up to it. It's so easy to lose yourself in motherhood.

In 12 days?

Motnight · 01/04/2023 20:12

CantAskAnyoneElse · 01/04/2023 20:09

In 12 days?

Show quote history

😂🤣

Dillydollydingdong · 01/04/2023 20:12

The baby won't even know. And its mother gets a well earned break. What's not to like?

Spiderboy · 01/04/2023 20:12

I’m sure her and her baby will be absolutely fine? Have you got a reason to be concerned?
It’s great that her mum sounds supportive

LotteLomax · 01/04/2023 20:15

Obki · 01/04/2023 19:36

YANBU, NHS guidance is not to exert yourself too much for 6 weeks after a c-section.

Exactly this. The body needs time to recover. It may not be your business but of course you can have an opinion and I’m totally with you, Op.

Mumof3confused · 01/04/2023 20:15

It’s probably not advisable…but it’s up to her.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/04/2023 20:19

I would silently judge this- is it the worse thing- no, will the child be fine- yes, is it my business- no- but, if you can’t be selfless in the first few weeks of parenting then god help you.

Daisydu · 01/04/2023 20:19

Yeah not your business. If baby is well cared for and she feels well enough then go her. I personally wouldn’t have felt ok at 12 days post c section, I didn’t really go out for about a month lol, but yeah fine if you feel up to it

SecretVictoria · 01/04/2023 20:22

Good for her!

Albiboba · 01/04/2023 20:25

LotteLomax · 01/04/2023 20:15

Exactly this. The body needs time to recover. It may not be your business but of course you can have an opinion and I’m totally with you, Op.

Show quote history

The majority of women I know had been out of the house after a section by 2 weeks, either pushing the pram on school runs, bringing the baby out for lunch with dad/granny/whoever, to get food shopping etc.
Whats more exerting about sitting in restaurant for 2 hours vs sitting at home for 2 hours with visitors?

It’s just faux concern as a reason to judge another new mother.
If you wouldn’t do anything without your baby at 2 weeks then don’t, someone isn’t a bad person for doing something different.

Yellowrosesmakemehappy · 01/04/2023 20:40

I’m impressed I was an absolute mess at 13 days post partum with cabbage on my swollen boobs and still feeling sorry for my very sore stitched up bits I didn’t even have a c section 😂

Probs would of cried over my boozy lunch. Good for her!!!

Toottooot · 01/04/2023 20:41

Wooptie fucking ping.

inappropriateraspberry · 01/04/2023 20:42

I would judge. Too soon, still early days and should be with the parents to bond.

LadyKenya · 01/04/2023 20:45

I think that it is fine. She is going out for lunch, not an all nighter on the lash. And the baby is being cared for by the Grandmother. Perfectly okay.

pictoosh · 01/04/2023 20:46

What IS the issue? It's brunch. That's typically a couple of hours...three max...with two glasses of wine...maybe even a good natured third?
And what of it?

Should be at home bonding? Do fuck off.

blebbleb · 01/04/2023 20:46

Ffs it's her business. I'm sure she'll be fine sat down. She's not likely to be dancing on tables.

QuickNameChangeForMeToday · 01/04/2023 20:47

It’s none of your business.