To think most accidental pregnancies aren't really accidental?

[IAteAllTheTomatoes]

If someone really doesn't want to get pregnant they are there are so many ways to prevent it that it's rarely a real accident?

Contraception, vasectomies, morning after pill etc.

I know contraception fails but if someone really doesn't want a pregnancy, they can double up & just more than one method?

Is it a lie that people just tell themselves?

I think there are a small handful of genuine accidents. I know people who have become pregnant on the pill.

I think the vast majority are situations where people are being fairly half-arsed about contraception (eg working with ovulation cycle), telling themselves they are being careful but deep knowing they have not taken every precaution.

I used a condom… it split, so I took the morning after pill. Still ended up pregnant. I’ve had unprotected sex 3 times in my life (once when the condom split included in that 3 - I had a termination) the other times resulted in dd1 and the the final time, dtds.

i guess I’m very fertile. So no, I don’t agree with your hypothesis.

I know of 3 coil babies too.

Yes I’ve known a few ‘quick’ pregnancies (as in quick after meeting) where a pill AND condom apparently failed. Extraordinary how so many pregnancies defy the scientific odds.

My DS wasn’t planned, DH and I didn’t use any contraception though so unsurprisingly I got pregnant.

Wow someone has touched a nerve.

In my case the condom split but I didn't get the MAP as it wouldn't have been a disaster if I got pregnant (I did). Are you saying this wasn't an accident? It certainly wasn't an intended/planned pregnancy but I didn't do everything I could to prevent it either. I do know someone who got the MAP and became pregnant anyway. The individual circumstances are so varied and no contraception is 100% even when doubled up (vasectomies fail sometimes) so I'm not sure how you can make sweeping generalisations here.

I agree and also don’t agree. I think very few are accidents while they could are using good protection and using it properly. Others feel like an accident because they didn’t actively want a baby but they were terribly at actually preventing it, skipping pills, not using a condom while drunk, taking a period app as gospel if you don’t have a textbook cycle. So in those cases it is a bit like yeah what do you expect.

I’ve reported your post as it sets a really negative and confrontational tone for the thread.

OP I think you’re probably correct in many ways but so many of us wouldn’t be here if not for an ‘accident’. Plenty of people are not trying and not preventing but are genuinely surprised when they immediately fall pregnant. Thank gif I was lucky enough to have such an ‘accident’ because my ‘on purpose’ that happened 4 years later was a result of years and years of miscarriages, surgical procedures and heart ache.

Yabu

If you're determined not to get pregnant then you have to be prepared to double up as nothing is 100%. I doubt people would seriously want to double up though as most people just take their chances using one method.

I think far fewer people use condoms than we realise. Certainly when I was younger alI didn’t because they’re gross, smelly a mood killer and I didn’t place my sexual health high enough above my need for a good shag I guess.

Condom split map didn't work abortion is not for me so I had dd I accepted i would be a single parent but he hung around signed the birth certificate before deciding he didn't want to be a dad and legged it his wife now tells everyone I'm evil and I trapped him (poor baby 😭) seriously it takes two to tango

I know two people that got pregnant on the coil, definitely wasn’t planned they both had abortions so obviously didn’t want to secretly be pregnant or is it not an accident if they didn’t ‘double up’ 🤔

Yeah I think genuine accidents like the pill failing etc are uncommon, but accidents in terms of forgot to take the pill, forgot to get the depo on time etc..
They happen a lot, think they're still unplanned though
I had an 'unplanned' pregnancy almost 14 years ago, never an unplanned one since, as I learned a lot 🤣

I’ve had an accidental pregnancy and as pp said it was more to do with half arsed approach to contraception. They’re a big difference between that and deliberately getting pregnant though.

I couldn't decide between reporting OP as a GF or replying, and I doubt they'll be back now they've lit the blue touch paper.
Anyhoo, please do tell us of the methods of contraception which are 100% effective, @IAteAllTheTomatoes - we are all dying to know..... 🙄🤷🏻‍♀️

You were so careful to say MOST and yet here people are telling you to FO just because they're one of the ones that wasn't an accident. It's like they think the world revolves around their personal experiences and therefore nobody else can have valid thoughts and observations that don't perfectly align with their own reality.

Anyway, I agree with you OP. I suspect actual accidental pregnancies are rarer than claimed. My own mother claims to have got pregnant accidentally as a teenager but both she and my father freely admit they knew how sex and getting pregnant worked and actively chose to have unprotected sex, so there was nothing accidental about it. She has in the past told me I wouldn't have coped being a teen mother like she was, but I actually managed NOT to get pregnant "accidentally" so we never found out.

I don’t many are actually deliberate if that’s what you mean.

But lots are people being half arsed about birth control for sure. Life is busy, and people get complacent once it’s been fine for years.. then you get got.

My DS wasn’t planned, DH and I didn’t use any contraception though so unsurprisingly I got pregnant.

How is that ‘unplanned’ though?

I got pregnant after having my tubes cut. I definitely wasn't secretly hoping to get pregnant!! 🙄

Our second child was a genuine accident. I'd just retrained for a new job, eldest was only 14 months when I got pregnant. It had taken ages to fall oreganwith our first, was still breastfeeding and we forgot a condom 1 night as we weren't used to using contraception at the time again.

I get a mistake in a committed relationship where we were happy having another child is a bit different to being a more vulnerable position, but was still a happy accident!

I was using contraception and got pregnant.

I know a few people who purposely missed the pill though and say it was 'accidental'.

Yes I agree a lot of people probably get "accidentally" pregnant but knew exactly what they were doing and doing so purposely or knew there was a risk , I have a close friend that knew she was risking pregnancy with a bf of a couple of months, she had stopped taking the pill and was tracking her cycle on an app but as soon as she got pregnant she backtracked very quickly and now maintains that she got pregnant on the pill even though she had told me the above information at the time , it's like she has convinced herself of a different version of reality

Well accidental to me means unplanned/unintentional. Not wholly unavoidable.

There are many unplanned pregnancies that could have been avoided by taking different actions but that doesn't mean they're not accidental.

Most car accidents could have been avoided by taking different actions. Doesn't stop them being accidents.