To think most accidental pregnancies aren't really accidental?

[IAteAllTheTomatoes]

If someone really doesn't want to get pregnant they are there are so many ways to prevent it that it's rarely a real accident?

Contraception, vasectomies, morning after pill etc.

I know contraception fails but if someone really doesn't want a pregnancy, they can double up & just more than one method?

Is it a lie that people just tell themselves?

This is a strange post. Of course it's common to get pregnant accidentally.

I wasn't being passive aggressive I was being completely direct and honest.

And it's very obvious to infer my negative view of people who ask questions like this, in this manner, from my post, if you have basic reading comprehension skills.

I know a few women who had “surprise babies”. Those babies were only a surprise to the fathers, the mother’s stopped taking the pill in each instance. Not forgot, stopped.

So whilst I would never comment in real life, I’m doubtful when women in the prime childbearing age bracket have a little surprise, particularly when their partner has shown no obvious interest in having children.

My auntie had twins - she’d been sterilised. I know a coil baby, a depo baby, a pill baby etc.

Is that not the morning after pill?

I know contraception fails but if someone really doesn't want a pregnancy, they can double up & just more than one method?

How much doubling up should be necessary for it to be deemed "truly accidental", OP? Always using condoms? Combining multiple hormonal and non-hormonal methods?

I've had 5 completely accidental pregnancies. 2 pill pregnancies, 3 coil pregnancies. I took the pill perfectly, though after the 2nd pregnancy, I was told I can never use hormonal contraception again. So I switched to the coil. I now feel quite sure the coil also isn't for me. So what would you suggest? If I were to use a diaphragm, for example, (~87% effective) and fell pregnant again, would that count as a non-accidental pregnancy due to its low efficacy rate?

Why are you continuing to be vague & rude?

I know you have a negative view but I don't know why, which it the reason I asked you for clarification.

Have we really gotten to a stage where people can't ask genuine questions anymore in case someone is offended?

Also as for women trapping men, if men are so against having a child there's a thing called Vasectomy.
Or god forbid they could NOT HAVE SEX THOSE POOR MEN BEING USED! 🥴

My 1st wasn't planned, I was told I wasn't ovulating so I didn't think I could pregnant as had tried for 6yrs with my ex.

Got pregnant very quickly with now dh. Was then on the pill for ages and came off as it wasn't agreeing with me, and we decided that if it happened, it happened. Didn't until 2020 then I lost it. So we did plan for our 2nd but she apparently wanted to be here earlier so I actually got pregnant a month before we were going to actively try.

OP has said she thinks ‘most’ accidental pregnancies aren’t accidental. If yours are genuinely accidental, why get so offended? Just assume you’re not the group she’s talking about. 🤷🏻‍♀️

And also how's are women going to double up? You get the option of the pill, injection or coil you can't have 2-3 of those options only 1 so it's upto the man to either wear a condom or have a Vasectomy.

An accident or forgetting to take the pill is one thing, but it's not ok to lie to someone about your contraceptive status. Would you say the same thing to a woman who got pregnant after the man secretly took the condom off? It's horrific abuse both ways around.

I know contraception fails but if someone really doesn't want a pregnancy, they can double up & just more than one method?

DD is living proof that doubling up can also fail. I wanted to be sterilized after having her as I absolutely did not want anymore DC's. I was refused that so just had to take my chances that doubling up would not fail me again. Luckily it didn't but the risk was always there.

And the woman to insist that the man wear one if you don't want to have his baby at that time.

Yes some certainly make it extremely easy to be deceived.
"Of course I am on the pill....Oops something to tell you."

I know people who have become pregnant on the pill.

Wait, really?! More than one? Were they taking it properly? Same time every day, no skipping, no antibiotics? If so I'm quite alarmed by that, I rely on it for contraception, but I do take it correctly and I've never forgotten one yet!

I feel like my post has already explained why I feel the way I do. If you need further explanation, womens reproductive rights and issues like lack of safe access to free or affordable contraception are still hugely prominent globally.

Even women in the UK can be prevented from myriad reasons from practicing safe sex and exercising autonomy over their contraception. And even without those extreme cases, a proportion of women in certain demographics are still going to be able to properly access their free contraception.

I just think it's really shitty and narrow minded to have a Victorian view of those naughty scoundrel women going round getting pregnant everywhere they go.

It is regressive, unfair, enforces negative stereotypes, and is also just unkind and judgemental in my opinion. Women have long suffered subjugation and poor health and economic status due to unwanted pregnancies. It just seems very low hanging fruit to go after.

I got pregnant 5 years in with an implant (3 years with one, followed by 2 years with the second when it's good for 3 years total). Granted we weren't using condoms in addition as it had worked without issue for 5 years.

I only discovered the pregnancy mid divorce when I'd already moved far abroad and would have to do it alone, so the timing was awful. No job, very little savings, no involvement from XH due to the distance. So definitely an accident but it's worked out.

It baffles my mind how it happened because I then have had to go on to IVF to have my next pregnancy. Despite copious amounts of sex at the perfect time for months on end ...nothing.

Me and DP were early 20s. She was on the pill and we were still using condoms as we'd been going out. I presume the condom broke but didn't notice it if it did so no morning after pill.

We also didn't find out she was pregnant until very late so even abortion wasn't an option by then.

Children weren't in either of our life plans (although 15 years later I wouldn't change a thing)

What else exactly do you think we should have done to avoid it @IAteAllTheTomatoes? I suppose complete abstinence would have done it but short of that...?

I know loads of people who have had a baby because of contraception failure, my dd was conceived even though condoms and the morning after pill were used 🤷‍♀️

Yabu.

My first pregnancy involved a broken condom, morning after pill and eventually a termination.
my second was deliberate but was the first unprotected sex with dh and first attempt to conceive.
infertility especially for women around age 35 gets a lot of press now, I never for a moment thought I’d conceive so quickly. I’m glad I never took any chances earlier but I didn’t really think that it would be so easy to fall pregnant.

Thank you for responding & I absolutely agree the not all women have equal access to contraception. It's a fair point.

Your comments re my shitty, narrowd minded Victorian view & the rest of your post is a rather large stretch but I fully appreciate you are entitled to your opinion.

Thanks for explaining.

I don't like the word accident. I had a wonderful surprise. An accident is horrible but I'm there are some.

My oldest is the result of teen me taking my pill one two miss a few. So I call her the accidental on purpose one 🤣

Pregnant again 13 years later with a coil kid! Had coil in for 4 years and didn’t know I was pregnant til late on.