To think most accidental pregnancies aren't really accidental?

[IAteAllTheTomatoes]

If someone really doesn't want to get pregnant they are there are so many ways to prevent it that it's rarely a real accident?

Contraception, vasectomies, morning after pill etc.

I know contraception fails but if someone really doesn't want a pregnancy, they can double up & just more than one method?

Is it a lie that people just tell themselves?

It partly depends on how you define 'accidental'. With my careless family I've always taken a harsh view of what actually constitutes an accident...what most people call an accident is usually downright negligence or recklessness - eg if you rush upstairs with an overfull cup of tea and mess up the carpet that's rank stupidity, in my book - not an accident!!!

With contraception and the MAP etc, I think you have to really take your eye off the ball to get pregnant accidentally these days, but of course I realise using the MAP might not be for everyone. i personally would hate an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy (they might not be the same thing, of course).

I’ve noticed a silly trend amongst z lists celebs where they say baby was a surprise but they weren’t using contraception. As though trying for a baby and shagging without contraception are two separate things. I think they think ‘trying’ is timing sex and ovulation tests. Getting pregnant from having sex without contraception isn’t an accident.

Yeah, sort of. Suppose it just seemed so unlikely getting pregnant on day 5 of my cycle when I was nearly 40. In hindsight of course it was a bit silly risking it, but we weren't really 100% set against another baby, so...

That's not an accident.

I took the pill for years and came off it to have my son, he took 6 months to conceive.
I took the same pill for the next 2 years and 6 months and became pregnant accidentally with my daughter.
She was just a contraceptive failure, nothing I did differently to all of the other times I had taken the pill.
Luckly I was with my now husband in secure housing and to all intents and purposes with the age gap I think most people assumed we had been trying for her.
It does happen, some people probably do lie to themselves but some people like me don't need to lie about anything, accidents happen.

What I don't get is why other people care so much about the way people describe their pregnancies, or give birth. I mean it's not like their pregnancy has any effect on anyone else's life.

I've been sexually active for over 40yrs and I've never used contraception. I(finally) fell pregnant (without assistance) at the age of 39 (after 17yrs of ttc), and again at age 41. I was never pregnant before or since.

My pregnancies weren't strictly 'accidental' but they were definitely a surprise and unplanned. I'd long before given up on having children.

I've had a couple of morning after pill fails although I know now how it works.

I dunno, I think you can have one accidental pregnancy, but multiple? Unlikely

I have PCOS. It took me 5 years to fall pregnant with DS and 2 1/2 years to fall pregnant with DD. Me and their dad split up, slept together just once in the space of 6 months and fell pregnant with DS2.

He was a complete accident/surprise but such a lovely one.

I just think it's a load of old shit that you'd even speculate on it. Who cares? What is you caring going to do toward changing the outcome of those peoples' decisions?

It's all completely subjective anyway. If a vulnerable person with substance misuse issues ends up pregnant, is the concern really to decide whether it's a "genuine accident" or not? People also actively plan pregnancies in unwise or compromised circumstances, so don't forget to save some of your judgement for them.

I know we're all allowed to discuss things and have opinions blah blah, but it just says something to me about people who ask this question in this manner.

There are genuine accidents.

There are also a lot of men who think their child was an accident when actually the woman was planning it and claimed that 'contraception failed', when she had secretly stopped taking the pill.

Cynical but true.

What does it say about people who ask these questions?

Saying what you mean is much more helpful than a passive agressive post.

Wowsers

I think an exception is people who get pregnant while still breastfeeding when they have a six month year old or so because the belief that you can’t get pregnant while breastfeeding seems really prevalent. The people I know who had a kid that little and got pregnant again it was a genuine accident.

I was unfortunate to get pregnant whilst having the coil. DH and I couldn't believe it. I had a termination and he got the snip.

Yes but easily fail , for a starters latex free condoms are very unreliable ( they break very easily , I have a child due to it ) and ovulation tracking is far from reliable unless you actually test .

Exactly. The OP is mixing up being reckless and being intentional. Lots of people are the former when it comes to sex and that doesn't make it an attempt to conceive.

Although MAP is most effective when taken within 12 hours. It's riskier the longer you leave it.

I actually wonder whether a lot of "the condom broke" are just drunken usages of it/not putting it on properly if in semi darkness or when rushing.

I've read that the pill doesn't really work for women who weigh more than 70kg/11st. Given that the average dress size is a 16, that probably explains a fair amount of accidental pregnancies.

I think if you’ve taken any steps not to get pregnant and you aren’t intending to get pregnant, it’s still an accident. You don’t have to take every single possible preventative step.

Kids who are having sex without contraception and withdraw at the last moment may be being stupid, but it doesn’t mean any resulting pregnancy is intentional - it’s still an accident they tried to avoid (just not very well). Couples who use the rhythm method because they don’t want children now and other forms of contraception are against their religion - still an accident. Drunken one night stands where they get a condom from the nightclub toilet that splits in the back of the car - grim, but still an accident. Forgetting the pill for one day and having sex anyway - still an accident. Thinking you won’t get pregnant because you haven’t had a period for 3 months - still an accident.

Statistically speaking if you use a condom correctly it has a 2 percent failure rate. If you use the pill correctly it has a one percent failure rate. However if you take the pill incorrectly. It has a 9 percent failure rate (classed as typical use)

the pull out method has a 20 percent failure rate . The coil a one percent failure rate. There are other methods, but all have a success rate way higher than failure rate.

so statistically speaking, yes absolutely the overwhelming majority of accidental pregnancies are actually not accidental , but absolutely some are.

There are a lot that are going to claim accident because no one will admit to trapping a boyfriend or getting pregnant on purpose when partner doesn't want a child or subsequent child. Yes the man should be careful etc. I know a few of these pregnancies and every single one ended up splitting up.

I don't judge other people because I don't know their circumstances but believe me, at 44, a decade after being told by a consultant gynae surgeon that I was most unlikely ever to conceive, to have ds pop up on an ultrasound was a very real shock.

I hadn't used contraception for a decade but why would I?

Would you count that as an accident? I call it a miracle.

I completely lost a coil. Never found. I also had 2 unplanned kids because I didn't realize I ovulate at the end of my period (it turns out).

I was planning to get pregnant but the timings were not of my choice (5 months post partum for no 2).

No plenty of unplanned pregnancies happen while using contraception.
After having my twins the last thing I wanted was another child so obviously I went straight on the pill, it failed and I found myself pregnant again when my girls were only 10 month old so I had a termination & the Dr changed my pill but I again fell pregnant 3 months later and had my son who was born 13 days before the twins turned 2 completely unplanned but now they're all grown and close so I guess it worked out well.