To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

phonemouse · 2023-03-31T19:19:05+00:00

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

FrancesFlute · 31/03/2023 20:23

When i was struggling with BFing my first baby, a few people smugly mentioning how fat their babies has got on breastfeeding 'the midwife said I had gold top milk!' Made me feel crap!

Oysterbabe · 31/03/2023 20:25

When people boast about how much they can drink.
Erm... well done?

ModeratelyBetter · 31/03/2023 20:26

In a similar vein, a close friend of mine is very fixated on food and weight loss and we cannot talk about anything food related without her saying how little she can manage to eat. It's become a running joke. She brings weight into EVERYTHING and I honestly think her happiness and she believes her status hinge entirely on her weight. She is on the chubby side as well (but she looks lovely to me), so I'm not sure the obsession and teeny tiny appetite is having the desired result.

JustMarriedBecca · 31/03/2023 20:27

My feet are the only bit of me that's thin. I'm taking it.

Mehmeh22 · 31/03/2023 20:28

My MIL proudly telling me she has moderate hearing loss like it's a good thing. No love, it means you're nearly deaf!! Lol

XenoBitch · 31/03/2023 20:30

Recently met someone who claimed that they attempted suicide when they were 3 years old!

Rosemarypots · 31/03/2023 20:32

I find the big baby boasts trying - it's usually a boy, and along the lines of, "oh I'm struggling to find age appropriate clothing as George is in 12-18 months babygrows at four months!". Shoehorned into conversation at several points.

JamSandle · 31/03/2023 20:33

'I've slept with 100 women' from a bloke. That only grosses me out mate.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 31/03/2023 20:33

Oh god the foot thing is no joke. I have fairly small feet but a friend is a Size 2 and she doesn't half bang on about it.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 31/03/2023 20:36

ModeratelyBetter · 31/03/2023 20:26

In a similar vein, a close friend of mine is very fixated on food and weight loss and we cannot talk about anything food related without her saying how little she can manage to eat. It's become a running joke. She brings weight into EVERYTHING and I honestly think her happiness and she believes her status hinge entirely on her weight. She is on the chubby side as well (but she looks lovely to me), so I'm not sure the obsession and teeny tiny appetite is having the desired result.

This sounds sad. She clearly has some kind of disordered eating.

MissHoollie · 31/03/2023 20:36

Oh yea I agree with all of these.

ModeratelyBetter · 31/03/2023 20:38

IDontWantToBeAPie · 31/03/2023 20:36

This sounds sad. She clearly has some kind of disordered eating.

Show quote history

Definitely! She knows that and doesn't care as she'd rather be thin (always with a hearty chuckle). I actually find it appalling and can't be around it. Serious chats about her anorexic traits are sneered at. It's pretty unbearable

RashOfBees · 31/03/2023 20:39

Talking about books and plays we’d studied at school once I mentioned that I’d read a particular Shakespeare play for my English Lit A level. Friend smugly announced that THEY had done it at GCSE like this meant they were more advanced.

SeeWhatYouGetWhenYouAskAStupidQuestion · 31/03/2023 20:42

My MIL used to boast about having perfect blood pressure - yes, that's because the tablets are working!

TrenchVagina · 31/03/2023 20:42

Someone who was proud their secondary school aged children had never had antibiotics. Mine would be deaf or dead without them. She seemed to think I'd let my kids down by, you know, giving them medicine.

SerenaB12 · 31/03/2023 20:43

I know someone who consistently draws attention to her small wrists.. she's in good shape, very intelligent..but at any given point you will have to hear her frustration at not being able to wear watches/bracelets... because of her tiny wrists.. 🤣

VickyEadieofThigh · 31/03/2023 20:45

A friend who claims they never watch TV every time we speak - "I'd be perfectly happy if we didn't have a television..." - as it's somehow awful to do so.

10 minutes later she's talking about the programmes they've watched recently.

Coffeetree · 31/03/2023 20:45

As a young uni student I worked as an admin for two male professors who were both up for tenure. Both insufferably pompous. One of them returned from the gym and was quickly heading off to teach. The other made snotty comments about how nice it must be to have a light research schedule with time for the gym.

The gym-going professor said, "Well I'm competitive and compulsive and so I always make time for it". And then strode off.

The other professor, realising he'd been bested, leaned out the door and called after him, "I'm compulsive tooooo"

I was trying hard not to laugh. I'm compulsive too oooo!

thepox · 31/03/2023 20:46

My mil can eat what she likes and remains slim apparently (I know for a fact she's been watching what she eats for her entire life and she eats like a bird)

Rosemarypots · 31/03/2023 20:47

RashOfBees · 31/03/2023 20:39

Talking about books and plays we’d studied at school once I mentioned that I’d read a particular Shakespeare play for my English Lit A level. Friend smugly announced that THEY had done it at GCSE like this meant they were more advanced.

Love this

SettlingForANewPassword · 31/03/2023 20:48

My family live in New Zealand. I do not.

I took my 18 month (mobile but non-verbal) child with autism and adhd, learning difficulties and anaphylactic food allergies to New Zealand on my own and had all the issues you can imagine with this including a full on autistic meltdown.

My cousin took her non-mobile 3 month old baby to the UK from NZ to see his paternal grandparents.... along with her mother (my aunt) and her husband on the same flight. So 3 adults to one non-mobile child.

She told me it all went very well because she was ..... 'organised' about it and said as an aside she thought I had made too much heavy weather of it all.

Its 11 years later and I am still irked.

Coffeetree · 31/03/2023 20:48

Oh and the "I never take pills" or "never give my kids pills" crowd. Not a flex!

My mum was one of those. As a teen I visited friends and came down with a cold. Friend's mum gave me lemsip and I...felt better! Amazing!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 31/03/2023 20:48

When I was in uni I worked in a shop with a woman the same age as me (about 20/21). Her boyfriend was younger, at about 19. and so desperate to impress.

One evening we went out for a drink after work and he joined us, he was a tedious bore. I assume we were talking about losing our virginity (although genuinely, we weren't close so it seems weird to think we were) and the boyfriend piped up with "I lost my virginity when I was 9".

I of course then said something along the lines of "I'm sorry to hear that" and he doubled down boasting about how he was so young.

It was bizarre. I left shortly after that and soon after got a new job. She was nice but scatty but him I couldn't stand.

Coffeetree · 31/03/2023 20:50

God, how awful!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 31/03/2023 20:51

Coffeetree · 31/03/2023 20:48

Oh and the "I never take pills" or "never give my kids pills" crowd. Not a flex!

My mum was one of those. As a teen I visited friends and came down with a cold. Friend's mum gave me lemsip and I...felt better! Amazing!

Oh god these ones boil my piss.

I get migraines, maybe once a month or so. I'm lucky that if I catch them early enough I can beat them back with paracetamol and ibuprofen.

Friend of mine came down with a headache at work, I offered her medication of choice and she turned me down because she "doesn't like taking drugs", like I'd offered her meth or something.

Then she moaned all afternoon.