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Original poster

To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

701 replies

phonemouse · 31/03/2023 20:19

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Sheruns · 31/03/2023 21:31

Well I completely let myself down then 😂

Sheruns · 31/03/2023 21:35

I need to ask you all if you use the phrase elevenerife? Like you've been to Tenerife but these people have been to elevenerife.

Exdh's new gf is an elevenerife. Anything at all we discuss she's done it further, faster or better. It's dull!

DNAshelicase · 31/03/2023 21:35

There was a thread yesterday with multiple stealth boasts but my fave line was ‘two of my daughters have been Mary’ 😂😂😂😂

rattlinbog · 31/03/2023 21:36

3littlebeans · 31/03/2023 21:18

Oh the private school threads where " we went without foreign holidays and new cars!!" Well yes... like the majority of the population then...

Yes I don't know many people spending 20k a year on holidays

Timesawastin · 31/03/2023 21:37

Sheruns · 31/03/2023 20:52

Oh I love this thread. Except it's made me realise I'm a knobhead for my humble brag when parent frienda talking about dummies and I say my child didn't need one (not coz of anything I did he was just content). Oh God im a c*nt.

Of course you aren't, every kid is different. One of mine was a thumbsucker, the other not; neither wanted a dummy. No boasting involved.

JudgeRudy · 31/03/2023 21:37

Thighlengthboots · 31/03/2023 21:31

I dont get the "I'm SO tiny" thing either. Um.... so you're really, really short?- congratulations I guess 🙄

I don't get it, tiny or short. Why would you want to be small.
Curly hair on kids is another one...oh he's got a lovely head of curls. Half right!

Tealknittedjumpers · 31/03/2023 21:39

Was talking online to a guy I had slept with before whilst living in America. İ asked him what he was up to and he said he was snow boarding from mountain to mountain from one state to another. He thought I'd believe that that's how ski resorts worked and that İ'd be so impressed by his adequate boarding skills (saw some videos, he was pretty intermediate level) without realising I used to compete in slalom for my uni and had many ski holidays before and know how mountain ranges work and that he was literally just driving around trying out a few different ski resorts for a week. Completely went off him after that.

lv884 · 31/03/2023 21:39

I really love “I haven’t had a day off since _” sorts. Who also come into work when looking contagious.

Rosemarypots · 31/03/2023 21:40

@PippaF2 the ones I remember from mat leave who did this positioned it in an alpha male sort of context - along the lines of "George is SUCH a long baby - he'll be an amazing cricketer like his daddy and probably need bespoke shoes". I don't think I'm quite capturing it, but it was a certain type of mum!

BangingOn · 31/03/2023 21:40

Holihobbies · 31/03/2023 21:13

Boasting that they are blunt and just 'say it like it is' like that's a good thing - no it's rude and insensitive and shows a complete lack of self awareness !

Yes! This one drives me crazy.

A very random one was a stranger bragging about how late her child lost their milk teeth.

XenoBitch · 31/03/2023 21:43

Sheruns · 31/03/2023 21:35

I need to ask you all if you use the phrase elevenerife? Like you've been to Tenerife but these people have been to elevenerife.

Exdh's new gf is an elevenerife. Anything at all we discuss she's done it further, faster or better. It's dull!

Haha, yes. I know people like that, and have heard the phrase 'Elevenerife' too.

Not always with anything nice either. Heard someone say they had just spent 2 weeks in hospital, and someone else piped up that they spent 5 weeks in hospital (which was years ago).

Blessedbethefruitz · 31/03/2023 21:45

... I boasted post labour that I had had diarrhoea for 6 weeks pre birth when they were surprised at my clenching abilities when checking if tear was deep 2nd or 3rd degree. Diamorphine may have played some part... I am usually a very low self esteem person but was very proud at the time that my bum still worked 😅

I tell this story as I've not heard a better weird boast, and I've heard some doozies ;)

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 31/03/2023 21:45

lv884 · 31/03/2023 21:39

I really love “I haven’t had a day off since _” sorts. Who also come into work when looking contagious.

Oh yes, competitive hard working.
I have seen ‘I’ve worked every day of my life’ on Mumsnet a few times.
Obviously it’s not true, but anyway it wouldn’t be impressive, it would be sad.

SeaToSki · 31/03/2023 21:47

Some school mums boasting that they ‘just never cook’. I think they are bragging about being able to afford take aways every night and all I can think about is how bad their diets must all be.

Echobelly · 31/03/2023 21:51

I find it bizarre that people boast about their long hours... mate, you're just telling everyone how much labour and time you give your employer for free?!

warmmfeet · 31/03/2023 21:54

@RashOfBees my friend literally messaged me today to tell me her son had done midsummer nights dream in reception assembly today "didn't you do that for GCSE?"

BevMarsh · 31/03/2023 21:55

Work colleague always mentions her last job role 'when I worked for X company...blah blah blah' like it was the best thing ever and means she's somehow superior to everyone else.
I feel like screaming that she no longer works for X so to shut the fuck up.
I'd suggest she goes back to work for X but seeing as it closed down 15 YEARS ago it seems pretty pointless.
She once boasted that the file divider she was using was one from X.
She's completely unhinged.

Doggolover2 · 31/03/2023 21:57

People who are “full” after an all leaf no dressing/meat/avo etc. salad….no you are not get yourself to fuck

LakeTiticaca · 31/03/2023 21:58

IDontWantToBeAPie · 31/03/2023 20:33

Oh god the foot thing is no joke. I have fairly small feet but a friend is a Size 2 and she doesn't half bang on about it.

I had a friend years ago who was a size 2 and really struggled to find decent shoes in her size. Not sure if that's still the case nowadays 🤔

Viviennemary · 31/03/2023 21:58

Folk who have been in labour for a week.

warmmfeet · 31/03/2023 21:59

I have friends who flex all the time about their kids but also reading this I do think some people don't mean the things they say as a brag or a flex?? It's just interpreted that way. That's what I'm hoping anyway! Are people really this awful ?

EscapeRoomToTheSun · 31/03/2023 21:59

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 31/03/2023 21:18

Once after doing some DIY (not a euphemism), tape measure lying around - dh measured his penis. Then he rang his dm to tell he how proud he was of the result..
Very odd..
Now an exh.

That's so fucking weiiirrdddd

Charlize43 · 31/03/2023 22:00

Teeny Tiny women who announce that they are wearing children's clothes!

Surely, I'm not the only one who has experienced this. It is most bizarre!

dubhdearg · 31/03/2023 22:01

Sorry you had to go through that, sending love. Sounds like the only one failing at parenting there was your Mum.

Berangere · 31/03/2023 22:03

Sister in law proudly won’t give my nephew antibiotics when prescribed them for actual illness like infections. Says he is naturally strong enough to fight illness. Won’t take them herself either and says it proudly, then feels worse and worse until eventually “giving in” and taking them a week later when she could have started feeling better if she’d just taken them.
I will happily take all the medication offered 🤗

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