To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

[phonemouse]

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

I have a relative who frequently likes to drop in to conversation that she’s never worn foundation because her skin is so perfect (her skin looks shit).

I do this about having had an enormous monster baby. Literally, no one can say anything to me about a big baby - I’ll shoehorn it in wherever I can

I don't know if this counts but I stopped to ask directions from a man on the street in a town in the US.
He noticed my accent and asked me where I was from
Ireland I said
I went to New Zealand once, he said

Speechless

Sorry, meant for ItsThePlayBusDingDing

A 5-year-old boy once boasted to me proudly, 'I can drink BEER!' (And, no, I'm fairly sure he didn't!)

Had a boss who used to boast about how she only had 2 weeks maternity leave, usually to any team member that was pregnant. There's a well known poster on here who also braggs every so often about having 2 weeks off...or was it 2 days?? basically chucked the baby out and went straight back into their strategy meeting.

Oh god both of my parents see having small feet as desirable. I'd forgotten about this particular foible until the other day mum asked what size ds1's feet were and when I told her both her and my dad were going "oh that's not bad, that's actually quite good, considering he's so tall". Like FFS, it's not good or bad, it's just what size his feet are. Fucking dipshit.

Um. What?

Could you explain what you mean about 'curly hair on kids', please?

I think I must be misunderstanding you. I hope so.

A Japanese friend of mine was studying in London in the 1980s. She met an Englishwoman at a bus stop, who asked her, 'Are you from Hong Kong?' She replied, 'No, I am from Japan'. 'Oh, does that belong to Hong Kong?'

A stealth boast that bugs me is, ‘My life would be sooo much easier if DC ate chips and burgers. All he wants is olives and sashimi!!’ Shut up. You love that he eats that stuff. And you don’t know that when he comes to my kid’s house he is wolfing down the chicken nuggets at top speed.

Someone who once proudly told me they'd never used childcare/babysitters as they felt their children should always have at least one parent with them. So they never ever went out as a couple.... they are now divorced.

I have a neighbour who compulsively brags about everything with a really smug look on her face. She’s quite poor so it’s always the new clothes or home accessories that she bought from Poundland or the big ugly brown piece of furniture she just got free from Facebook marketplace. It took me absolutely ages to figure out that she was trying to brag, she seems to like me a lot more now that I pretend to look impressed😂

Also “No pain relief. Completely natural. I would have felt a failure if I had a epidural.”

I know I am an awful human being for thinking this but when this has been said to women who did have pain relief/forceps etc., I’ve definitely wanted to say on one occasion, “Maybe you also have a large vagina you can boast about?”

My DH boasts about SS1s height every time he meets someone not seen since he was little. 'Yes this is 'little' SS1sname (cue little chuckle) . Or if its someone he's introducing to him for first time he'll say this is my eldest , <SS1sname> 'he's 6ft 3 ya know ' again followed by a proud chuckle and a pause to allow person to express how impressed they are. Nothing wrong with being proud of your kids but why is growing tall an achievement.

Me too. Mine was 11lb 1oz, I want a fucking medal

Also, 'I didn't have pain relief, just gas and air'

Yeah, gas and air is pain relief and pretty effective stuff too.

My exbil was a fitness/ health fanatic who used to go on and on about how he consumed hardly any caffeine or sugar.

Then if he ever had a coffee or something sugary as a treat he'd pretend to be all hyper and excitable like a fucking toddler. The family would all laugh along and indulge him, so annoying!

Guy I used to work with always used to "boast" about his teeny tiny girlfriend "so small she could fit in his pocket". He used to go on about how good they looked together because he was so BIG and she was so TINY.

I really wanted to say - no shite mate - you don't even look the same species!

My sister telling everyone she had size 4 feet and squeezing them into size 4 trainers with no socks.

She’s a standard size 5 same as me.

Mums, or typically grans boasting that their child has curly hair. Seems to be on a par with being short...so nothing to 'boast' about...some will exaggerate it, like it's a quality. They only seem to do it on kids though and it's never 'oh her hairs curly'...its always a MASS of curls...like someone's never short, they're tiny...what's so good about that

I have really small feet, the only time it would approach boasting is when I can get my trainers in the kids section!

@LiliLil hope you’re happy with a silver medal 😂11lb 7oz over here!! I mean, over 11lb has to be worth mentioning, right?

I'm overweight due to some health issues, but whenever I see my neighbour she always makes sure to tell me what healthy meal they're cooking 'from scratch!' that evening.

She doesn't know about my health stuff and the medication which has done a number on my body, so I think she assumes that I'm fat and have always been fat because I just eat crisps, but actually I cook from scratch every night too.

Good lord