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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask a mum to keep her kids quiet on the train?

398 replies

Wiennetta · 31/03/2023 15:28

I specifically booked a seat on a quiet carriage as I’m working on a 4 hour train journey (as are most people in the carriage, or reading, snoozing etc). Next to me on the other side of the aisle is a mum with a two year old who is watching his iPad on full volume. He has been running around up and down the aisle with another child, shouting, screaming and so on.

I was trying to concentrate on something, listening on my headphones and politely asked the mum if they could keep it down - at this point the kid was literally next to my seat, in the aisle, jumping up and down and shouting. She just said, ‘he’s two, what do you expect me to do?’

I mean they’re kids, they’re little, they’re bored. But AIBU I thinking the parents should at least try and moderate their behaviour, remind them to be quiet, try and get them to sit down and do something a bit calmer? Even if it’s not always successful?

Or preferably not book the bloody quiet carriage.

OP posts:
DdraigGoch · 02/04/2023 22:17

DdraigGoch · 02/04/2023 22:15

You'll have travelled already by now but for future use:
https://www.argos.co.uk/product/9203956

Show quote history

Serves me right for not reading the whole thread. Cancel the cheque etc....

DdraigGoch · 02/04/2023 23:16

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 31/03/2023 17:02

Maybe the opposite of a quiet carriage can be a creche carriage where people can performance parent and sing to Disney all they want..
My dd attempted suicide last year and we were on a ward with a woman with her dd who were up at 6 am singing Disney songs. Some are oblivious to the courtesy they should be extending to others..

They have those in Switzerland, and they look amazing.
https://www.sbb.ch/en/timetable/travel-advice/travelling-with-children/train-children.html

Germany has private compartments that families can reserve:
https://www.bahn.com/en/offers/travelling-with-children

Sadly our governments since the year dot have refused to fund public transport properly so "pack 'em in and stack 'em high" has been the policy. You're lucky to get a seat, let alone a play area.

On the train with children | SBB

Family coaches, family zone, normal compartment, bistro or restaurant: so that you and your children enjoy travelling by train.

https://www.sbb.ch/en/timetable/travel-advice/travelling-with-children/train-children.html

DdraigGoch · 02/04/2023 23:18

JudgeJ · 31/03/2023 21:12

I hope the passengers who had paid for the First Class carriage were offered a refund of their fare over a standard fare.

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Babes in arms are usually no trouble on trains. I work on trains so have more experience than most. I'd have done the same as that guard if I had a train full of drunks.

Devoutspoken · 03/04/2023 07:49

I think we should all be able to smoke on trains too, and those who don't like it should wear a gas mask

ancientgran · 03/04/2023 08:49

DdraigGoch · 02/04/2023 23:18

Babes in arms are usually no trouble on trains. I work on trains so have more experience than most. I'd have done the same as that guard if I had a train full of drunks.

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I got moved to first class once, it was the end of a very wet Glastonbury and as we approached the station where all the festival goers were joining the train the guard moved us to first class, not just us but lots of people, then they moved everyone out of a couple of carriages leaving them free for the very muddy festival goers.

I did enjoy it but felt so sorry for all the soaking wet muddy young people.

Devoutspoken · 03/04/2023 09:25

It's not just wee kids with electronic devices with no headphones, some pesky adults do it too

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 12:22

Devoutspoken · 03/04/2023 09:25

It's not just wee kids with electronic devices with no headphones, some pesky adults do it too

They don't last long on my trains. I refuse to tolerate it.

TitterYeeNot · 03/04/2023 15:18

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 12:22

They don't last long on my trains. I refuse to tolerate it.

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I find it hard to tolerate too, but just stay quiet or move away as I don’t fancy being stabbed.

LuckySantangelo35 · 03/04/2023 15:19

GCAcademic · 02/04/2023 20:04

It's not "entitled" to expect the quiet coach to be quiet.

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THIS!!

this really is all there is to it

anyone who tries to refute this undeniable fact is being extremely unreasonable

End of.

Mybumlooksbig · 03/04/2023 15:53

When I had 3 small children all under 7,.including one toddlerat the time. I had to do a 3 hour tea in journey... to my absolute horror my pre booked seats were the quiet carriage. I don't know how this got through when I had obviously booked kids seats but we had to sit inthis carriage as the rest of the train was full.
I tried my best to keep the kids quiet and occupied (days before ipads) and I apologised to the people near by and explained I hadn't chosen the quiet carriage....

Lolly34h · 03/04/2023 15:59

I have a 5 year old and we take playdoh and crayons and books on the train she loves to go on the train and is really well behaved but if we were given the quiet carriage I'd ask to be moved. I love my dd but I don't expect everyone else too lol! Screens are for home only and she never asks for my phone.

Grrrrdarling · 03/04/2023 16:34

DrMarciaFieldstone · 31/03/2023 15:31

Go and find a guard if you can. Quiet carriages are there for a reason.

This… ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 16:44

TitterYeeNot · 03/04/2023 15:18

I find it hard to tolerate too, but just stay quiet or move away as I don’t fancy being stabbed.

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I do have the advantage of wearing a uniform and a bodycam.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 03/04/2023 16:47

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 12:22

They don't last long on my trains. I refuse to tolerate it.

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And you do what?

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 18:27

Forgooodnesssakenow · 03/04/2023 16:47

And you do what?

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"Can you put some headphones in, please?" deals with 95%. I do this whether I'm on duty or not.

For more persistent offenders I occasionally do resort to telling them that they will have to leave my train if they don't switch it off.

I was once travelling Pass on another operator's service and had a couple of young men who not only pissed off those of us in the Quiet Coach but also those in Coach B once they moved into there. Before they had moved though, I smelt cannabis and spotted them rolling joints (different sorts of antisocial behaviour often go hand-in. No sign of the guard (covid precautions were still in place I think). One quick text to 61016, BTP met the train, took them off, searched them, confiscated the drugs and they had to board a later train empty-handed.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 03/04/2023 18:34

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 18:27

"Can you put some headphones in, please?" deals with 95%. I do this whether I'm on duty or not.

For more persistent offenders I occasionally do resort to telling them that they will have to leave my train if they don't switch it off.

I was once travelling Pass on another operator's service and had a couple of young men who not only pissed off those of us in the Quiet Coach but also those in Coach B once they moved into there. Before they had moved though, I smelt cannabis and spotted them rolling joints (different sorts of antisocial behaviour often go hand-in. No sign of the guard (covid precautions were still in place I think). One quick text to 61016, BTP met the train, took them off, searched them, confiscated the drugs and they had to board a later train empty-handed.

Show quote history

Ok so drugs, sure

You're saying you'd throw a parent off a train for trying to soothe an overtired child with some cocomelon? What if they turn it off and the child screams uncontrollably? They get to stay on or you throw them off because their crying child is a nuisance?

Forgooodnesssakenow · 03/04/2023 18:38

Devoutspoken · 02/04/2023 21:10

Grinandvomit, so your kids don't wear wooly hats in the winter?

My daughter will, my son won't, never tolerated a hat.

LlynTegid · 03/04/2023 18:44

I will reiterate my wish for one carriage in each train to have compartments. Much better than a quiet carriage. Have travelled on them in Germany within the last ten years.

LexMitior · 03/04/2023 18:54

Compartment trains are great! I don't know why they got rid of them

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 19:11

Forgooodnesssakenow · 03/04/2023 18:34

Ok so drugs, sure

You're saying you'd throw a parent off a train for trying to soothe an overtired child with some cocomelon? What if they turn it off and the child screams uncontrollably? They get to stay on or you throw them off because their crying child is a nuisance?

Show quote history

I'd sooner have a screaming child than be subjected to Paw Patrol over tinny speakers. Not that the child generally screams when the sound gets turned off anyway.

The only people where it has got as far as "turn it off, or you'll have to leave my train" have been adult men. Using an electronic device to create noise that is to the annoyance of any other person is a byelaw offence and the staff do have the right to ask you to leave.

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 19:12

LexMitior · 03/04/2023 18:54

Compartment trains are great! I don't know why they got rid of them

Still common in Eastern Europe. I love dimming the lights so that you can see out.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 04/04/2023 03:18

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 19:11

I'd sooner have a screaming child than be subjected to Paw Patrol over tinny speakers. Not that the child generally screams when the sound gets turned off anyway.

The only people where it has got as far as "turn it off, or you'll have to leave my train" have been adult men. Using an electronic device to create noise that is to the annoyance of any other person is a byelaw offence and the staff do have the right to ask you to leave.

Show quote history

My son would have screamed and screamed until he vomited. Then continuedbtobscrean. You're saying you'd sooner a child with sensory issues, a toddler under 2 scream until violently sick than a quiet nursery rhyme?

Forgooodnesssakenow · 04/04/2023 03:23

DdraigGoch · 03/04/2023 19:11

I'd sooner have a screaming child than be subjected to Paw Patrol over tinny speakers. Not that the child generally screams when the sound gets turned off anyway.

The only people where it has got as far as "turn it off, or you'll have to leave my train" have been adult men. Using an electronic device to create noise that is to the annoyance of any other person is a byelaw offence and the staff do have the right to ask you to leave.

Show quote history

To be clear my son would have scr amed until violently sick because at the point where I'd give it n and offer cocomelon ALL other options would have been tried, food, cuddles, walking up and down the train aisle, books, toys, fidget toys etc and until 2.5 he couldn't tolerate headphones. If you'd prefer a child screaming, sobbing and wretching over a barely audible cocomelon video your humanity needs examining.

BlueHeelers · 04/04/2023 05:21

What a rude woman. YANBU.

BlueHeelers · 04/04/2023 05:23

Forgooodnesssakenow · 04/04/2023 03:18

My son would have screamed and screamed until he vomited. Then continuedbtobscrean. You're saying you'd sooner a child with sensory issues, a toddler under 2 scream until violently sick than a quiet nursery rhyme?

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So presumably you’d never travel with him in the Quiet Coach?

Gosh this emotional blackmail about parents not being able to manage children’s behaviour is tiresome. If you know your DC responds the way, don’t travel in the Quiet Carriage.