To ask a mum to keep her kids quiet on the train?

[Wiennetta]

I specifically booked a seat on a quiet carriage as I’m working on a 4 hour train journey (as are most people in the carriage, or reading, snoozing etc). Next to me on the other side of the aisle is a mum with a two year old who is watching his iPad on full volume. He has been running around up and down the aisle with another child, shouting, screaming and so on.

I was trying to concentrate on something, listening on my headphones and politely asked the mum if they could keep it down - at this point the kid was literally next to my seat, in the aisle, jumping up and down and shouting. She just said, ‘he’s two, what do you expect me to do?’

I mean they’re kids, they’re little, they’re bored. But AIBU I thinking the parents should at least try and moderate their behaviour, remind them to be quiet, try and get them to sit down and do something a bit calmer? Even if it’s not always successful?

Or preferably not book the bloody quiet carriage.

No you're not unreasonable, she shouldn't have been in the quiet carriage.

I agree @grinandvomit you've had some horrible responses on here. Sewexe in particular, they sound nasty. I'd take the train.

It's public transport not your office, tough

God this is hilarious. My daughter, absolutely, can be entertained at 20 months on a train with a doll and toy bottle, some building blocks and a few books. We can sing some action songs and she'll snuggle. My son at the same age was like a caged beast, he needed constant physical outlet, he's still like that at 5 but now he'll be entertained by doing sums or spellings, or building Lego Minifigures but at 18 months? No he wouldn't have been occupied by anything you suggest. The kid walked at 8 months, ran at 10, jumped at little over a year, could literally climb my curtains. His brain is turned up to 11. The only thing at that point that would have him sit still without screaming was tablet games or a couple of specific cartoons or honestly kicking and screaming until he vomited would be the way. I'd travel primarily during naptimes or snack times but he's also always been minimum sleep needs, was down to a single 45 minute nap by that age. All kids are different and I too would smugly tell people all the ways I keep my daughter happy in travel scenarios if I hadn't been humbled by having my son first b

Also the we didn't have them and we were taught bla bla bla .. 1 of my sisters was like my son and I vividly remember her getting screamed at and hit to force the 'good behaviour's the rest of us found so easy and she struggled with. Shes 36 and still lives with the trauma. I watch my son and I thank God he's not suffering that and instead gets to deal with his sensory needs and high energy levels more kindly. Hopefully he'll avoid the trauma she suffered. He also already shares her compassion, kindness and extreme cleverness that noon wanted to see in her in the 80s.

Wait till you have kids! 🤣 once you figure out how to keep a 2 year old sitting down for 4 hours and quiet, let us all know.
I book trains every month and often it's automatic where they put us. Sometimes I don't have the tike to flaff over seating ajd carriages on the booking system

Thank you @Forgooodnesssakenow and @Tiredmum100

I genuinely had no idea about the absolute hatred for a little bit of noise from children.

I did send this thread to my friend who owns multiple nurseries and has a doctorate in child development, and she laughed her arse off and told me to come off mumsnet. 😃

I also had a moment of clarity and perspective yesterday morning. One child was doing a jigsaw, the other drawing and the toddler was on his indoor climbing frame. They were singing and chatting.
I realised that we really aren’t the biggest problem in the world. 😁

Grin and vomit, it's not absolute hatred of noise from kids, it's electronic gadgets without headphones, it massively selfish for you to affect others in this way

Luvkyduc, I've done long train journeys with all my kids without inflicting Peppa pig on other travellers

@GrinAndVomit I don't mind kids talking, laughing or even walking up and down on public transport, it's purely being forced to listen to music or a programme that I didn't choose that I object to.

I don't expect kids to be utterly silent 🤷🏻‍♀️

Forgoodnesssake, what about other people's sensory needs? Headphones or a Bluetooth beanie

Children also have sensory needs that make them unable to tolerate such things on their head.

Then they can watch it on silent!!! You don’t inflict it on everyone else.

Ok 😊

@GrinAndVomit why don’t you just start your own thread? You have already said you won’t take your children on the train until they can survive without devices that everyone else has to listen to and even your friend has told you to come off mumsnet.

Flight out on holiday: 4 kids totally unsupervised by 2 parents, making a noise for 4 hours, iPads on no headphones was utter hell. Whole flight pissed off by this family.

Flight back: new family 4 kids, 3 older o es supervised by dad, books, chatting, colouring. The toddler SCREAMED the whole 4 hours. BUT the mum worked her arse off trying to calm him, her patience was incredible. Not one person was cross. Most verbally encouraged and praised her

I think I ran into the same woman in A&E the other week. Everyone exhausted, tired and stressed with whatever was wrong with them.

Her two year old listening to his iPad game on full blast, and her face timing someone the whole time. Grim.

I have no problem with noise from children. I do have a massive problem with noise from electronics and no headphones. It's tinny and grating and torturous for anyone with misophonia or other sensory issues, irritating to people without. I am always tolerant and sympathetic to parents with crying or tantrumming children, I despise threads that sneer at 'performance parenting' as it's only people trying to engage and entertain their kids which is fine. Kids chatting, laughing, playing all fine. A toddler getting walked up and down the aisle, fine. Anyone of any age playing music or videos with no headphones - unbearably antisocial and awful. It's not about children, it's about that particular sound.

Urm, I’m replying to people who are quoting me and @-ing me.
Why on Earth would I start my own thread?

I’m getting plenty of interaction on here. Thank you for participating 😊

Well, there’s the rub. I was mocked earlier by many posters for mentioning that I sing to my 17month old.
You’re always going to be annoying someone 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, and you can't mitigate against people who dislike normal child-related noise and don't tolerate children in public - those people are unreasonable and you can safely ignore them. There is never a necessity for playing devices on speakers in public places though, so anyone doing that is the unreasonable one.

Ok 😊

@Forgooodnesssakenow

the mum was in the quiet carriage when she shouldn’t have been therefore she should move away from it with her toddler and sit elsewhere
tough

@GrinAndVomit

”Forget it. We’ll stay home for fear of anyone being disturbed by the sound of Hakuna Matata”

yay!