Who invites one half of a couple to a wedding??

[username98765]

Please tell me if I am being unreasonable. My dp of 9 years has received a wedding invite today just addressed to him! The bride and groom I have known for years. The groom used to go out with my cousin but it ended with him cheating on her. That's the only reason I can think of not to be invited. I would never imagine inviting one part of a couple to a wedding! Haven't had chance to speak with my dp as he has already left for work when I'd seen it.

Ey up

Paddy's arrived!

🤣

Their wedding their choice.

they probably cannot afford to have everyone attend.

A few years ago my Dh got a wedding invitation from a work colleague they knew he was married but I’d never met them, I wasn’t bothered, he didn’t go

Are you invited to the evening reception?
I had a friend at the 'main event', but not her partner, he came to the evening do.

Unless the couple were my actual friends or family, I wouldn’t care.

I had this last year, my partner of 17 years got invited to a work colleagues wedding. But the invite was only for him.
I wondered if they didn't realise he had a partner. But he said he does talk about me. Then it wasn't down to numbers as others got invites, for themselves and partner. One person who had only been together 6 months! So that made me feel like an out cast.
My partner didn't ask, why the invite didn't include me, he doesn't like confrontation.

My husband invited 8 of his school friends to our wedding, but not their partners/wives or children. Some we dodnt know well, some we did. We paid nearly £100 a head and simply couldn't afford to increase the amount of guests, and had to make the cut somewhere. We sat them all on one table together like a school reunion. They all came and no one complained (to our faces) 🤣

It might be a bit odd if you both know them equally well, but I think you're being a bit unreasonable. So many weddings get blown out of proportion, they are expensive and expectations of friends and family can be overwhelming. Maybe they have big families and the groom has known your husband for longer? Who knows?
I've got the opposite problem - wedding of someone in my husband's family, I've never met bride nor groom. I've taken the day off for it (it's on a Sunday, miles away so have to take Monday off), and I'd rather not go but 'the family' can get quite prickly about these things.
Plan something else for that day, OP!

Just rude and same with people who don’t want children there - just don’t bother having a wedding- elope ffs

Sorry Ratataty, I think that’s extremely odd!

I would want to know why but also, I think people should invite who they want regardless of who they’re dating.

You should have been invited - hope your DP doesn’t accept !

If he’s their friend and you’re not then I’d say it’s fine not to invite you.
weddings are expensive and only inviting the people you know and are friends with is a good way of keeping costa down while still being able to invite all your friends. I’d rather have extra friends there than partners I don’t know.

Also I think sometimes weddings are more fun without partners, nothing worse than feeling like you have to stay with your partner because they don’t know anyone there.

Their wedding their choice who attends it & if you think about it, what bride wants to sit looking at her husbands exs cousin? Just be happy for them, buy them a nice card & gift & send Dh on his way; spend the day doing something nice for yourself instead x

I think it depends on the wedding. Is it a big old 200 people affair? Then it would be reasonable to feel put out at not being invited. Is it a select handful of close family and oldest friends? Then you are being unreasonable. There might be family members not invited, which would make it weird if you WERE there. Don't take it personally. Arrange to do something fun that day like a spa day with your best friends so you don't feel aggrieved. And remember your husband also has the right to decide not to go if he feels you are being snubbed.

Why should a partner of one of the couple’s friends take precedence over one of their actual friends?

People are so presumptuous when it comes to weddings but it’s so expensive and you’re always going to disappoint someone.
I try and take it as a nice surprise if I am invited and not personally if I don’t make the cut.

I think that people are presumptuous in assuming that couples are going to be happy knowing that their other half doesn't make the cut. Invite both or none. Much better for maintaining future relationships.

I've never understood this attitude. I think it's incredibly rude to expect a wedding invite when they are really expensive. My partner has been invited to friends' weddings without me and it's a relief not to go. I don't want to hang out with a load of people I don't really know and have my partner feel he has to look out for me all day. We have quite seperate friends so tend not to go to weddings together.

But this couple are friends of OP as well and were friends of hers first they met her DP.

That is spectacularly rude.

People can justify all they want. Its rude, its bad mannered. You invite a couple. Nothing to do with their day their choice. They should be acting like grown ups. Frankly I wouldnt go if my partner wasnt invited.

Those saying the OP IBU - WTAF?!
It is unbelievably rude to only invite one half of a partnership to a wedding.

That's the problem with people prioritising over the top expensive weddings at the expense of their friends. Ultimately more sensible to go cheaper / or much smaller, rather than some expensive pretentious bash where guests have to sit there alone as props against the backdrop of the bride and grooms fairytale dream wedding experience.

No, it’s not. Not in general. I’ve been to several weddings without my DH - because I knew the bride or groom and he didn’t. It would be weird for him to be invited. In this case, however, it might be, because both know either the groom/ride.

Rules of etiquette such as ‘you don’t invite half of an established couple’ are there to help you through this minefield

See I just don’t understand this. Why should the couple dominate everything? To me it negates the idea that people have lives as individuals and suggests that your “couple life” has to take primacy over everything. I really like the fact that my partner and I are individuals and have lives independent of one another.

DH has just been to his niece’s wedding. I wasn’t invited and nor were our young adult children - the bride’s cousins. That’s as I would expect.