To think the school shouldn’t be ignoring this?

[MachboosRubyanAnne]

At my DD’s primary school, where there are a lot of children of teachers who attend - There was a mum’s night out last weekend. There, one of the teachers was making unkind comments about some of the children. Including that a couple were spoiled brats, she also speculated that ‘something is wrong’ with a particular child and also slagged off various parents. The people who attended the night out have complained to the headteacher as they felt this teacher, though very drunk, clearly crossed a line.

The school have done nothing but apologised on her behalf.

AIBU to think that more should be done and that they should be utterly outraged at this having happened?

I’m ignoring you now because we are going round in circles. You think it’s absolutely fine the only problem is that clearly my child is Lucifer and I need to deal with that. And I think you are just someone who likes to stick the boot in no matter what

I don’t think that at all and I’ve no idea where you have gotten that from, certainly not from the things I have said. I’ve given you practical ideas of how you can get the school to do what you want which is help your child but you won’t even consider doing that and only insist on a teacher being made to apologise to you face to face which achieves precisely nothing. Meanwhile your child is still floundering without the help you think you need. I don’t know what you want from this thread apart from people baying she should be sacked. Teachers have been on and said that she is not likely to be sacked. There’s only one teacher per year so she can’t switch classes and you won’t contemplate moving her. So where do you want this go? Turn it to your daughter’s advantage or stew on what a silly pissed woman said in the company of other silly pissed women, one of whom couldn’t wait to run and tell you.

In your book an apology means nothing, but not in mine. She is more than a ‘silly kissed woman’ and I refuse to be tricked into thinking this is something trivial.

Im also not going to use this to insist they solve a problem that they have told me doesn’t exist. That’s just weird. I’d rather just get a private assessment completed TBH.

You’ve had an apology. The teacher cannot be made to apologise to you. Throw your money away then on a private assessment, you are much more likely to get the answer you think you want.

100% you are just stirring now.

Firstly I should go in kicking and screaming for him to get SEN help. But a private assessment would be ‘a waste of money’

Just proves my point - you simply just like to stick the boot in. Pathetic.

Given that you previously asked about extra support and it was deemed unnecessary, I would absolutely be doing what another poster is suggesting and highlight to the head that either this teacher hasn't done her job properly as far as referring your child to the SENCO and completing assessments OR she was making up unkind things about them.

What she said was awful even if true, confidentiality matters (and the phrasing!), but considering the school have said your child is fine I feel like that makes it an even nastier thing to have said.

If the head has already apologised to you then he is also unprofessional. He shouldn't have apologised until he had all the facts and he won't have got them that quickly.
I think you have to accept that the school are not going to sack the teacher so if you are that worried you'll have to move your child. I know you don't want to and shouldn't have to but it's the only option if you feel that strongly. Do you think the issue is serious enough to move your child?

Absolutely not stirring. You say you think your daughter needs help, the school says no, a teacher makes very ill-advised comments suggesting your daughter does need help, you insist she must apologise for making them rather than saying now that one of your staff has said, in a way I find offensive, that my daughter needs extra help, will you not have my child properly assessed? Instead you prefer to spend what, thousands of pounds, for a private assessment? Make it make sense.

Have you spoken to the other parents who joined in with the teacher amd asked for an apology?

Let’s face it she wasn’t suggested my child has SEN (an issue I’ve been told doesn’t exist with my DC) she was suggesting something nasty. And I’m not going to go in and pretend that the teacher gives a shit about the learning needs of my DC.

None of them made comments about me or my DC.

Has the head been given the exact wording of what was said by the parent who witnessed it?

I feel for you OP - it's really disappointing.

Yes

It does not stop you using that to your advantage and I do not see why you will not even attempt a conversation on that basis!!!! Whether the teacher actually cares or not is immaterial, the reality is she has said it and you could build an argument on that basis it might help your daughter. But keep focusing on your feelings of hurt here that’s the important thing.

I still think you should go to the head saying how sad and disappointed you feel that she's said this about your DD when she's previously stated no SEN.

I was told "no SEN" time and time again by teachers and it turned out there was.

Perhaps make a formal complaint.

You are completely right to be upset.

Yes I am important. As I’ve said I’m not one of these people who thinks only my children are important. I want and deserve an apology.

I don’t know if you can’t read properly but the school have said there is nothing to offer my child in terms of LS. What is it that you don’t understand? And that’s an official decision in a professional Al capacity. I’m not going to pretend that drunken ramblings from an incompetent teacher trump that professional decision. I’d rather pay privately if I were to go down the route of advocating for my DC’s needs.

It’s really tough as my DC is ‘behind’ and struggles where their peers don’t seem to - but not enough to warrant LS. Or so they say.

And I don’t think the teacher meant “Anne’s DC has SEN” when she said what she said. What she meant was my DC is an idiot/thick/weird.

The other thing I did was to tell the school I was getting a private educational psychologist to assess her.

All the sudden the local authority one was able to assess her. I'd been told there were no funds for ages.

You aren’t as important as your child and her education in her school. No, you aren’t. It is your daughter who will be in the school every day. You’ve had an apology.

Again, sorry you have such a low opinion of yourself but I don’t rank me against my family on who is the most important. We are all equally important here, and I show my kids my feeling matter every bit as much as theirs so they, you know, grow to respect me. I am certainly as a human much more important than my DC’s education.

Are you suggesting my child would deserve to suffer in school if I asked for an apology?! Thank fuck you don’t have any standing in society - what a loathsome attitude you have.

‘I am certainly as a human much more important than my DC’s education’ Nothing, absolutely nothing is more important to a parent than their children’s education. I am genuinely shocked you have said that.
‘Are you suggesting my child would deserve to suffer in school if I asked for an apology?! ‘ Don’t be so ridiculous.

You’re shocked that I place myself as a human above my child’s education?

Wow I’d hate to think so lowly of myself.

How does having the apology I want and deserve compromise my child’s education?? Genuine question.

If you aren’t suggesting my child would suffer as a result of all this what do you mean when you say:

It is your daughter who will be in the school every day

And actually my child’s health and happiness is more important than their education. I’m not quite sure where you get off telling other people what priorities they should have when it comes to their child.

The fact is the apology to YOU, only you, not you and your child, you and your partner and child, YOU, is your prime concern here. Your daughter is behind at school and you believe she has additional needs, but all you can think of is yourself. There are millions of children across the world who would give anything to have the chance of an education such as your child has access to. Education is the most important thing in a child’s life beyond their family, it sets the course of their entire life.