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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school shouldn’t be ignoring this?

279 replies

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 15:13

At my DD’s primary school, where there are a lot of children of teachers who attend - There was a mum’s night out last weekend. There, one of the teachers was making unkind comments about some of the children. Including that a couple were spoiled brats, she also speculated that ‘something is wrong’ with a particular child and also slagged off various parents. The people who attended the night out have complained to the headteacher as they felt this teacher, though very drunk, clearly crossed a line.

The school have done nothing but apologised on her behalf.

AIBU to think that more should be done and that they should be utterly outraged at this having happened?

OP posts:
Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:37

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:34

You've been caught out with that inconsistency. You don't know because none of this ever happened!

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Have I?!

How have I been ‘caught out’ 🤣

OP posts:
Pubesofsoberness · 30/03/2023 20:37

Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:35

Thats clients who you want money from though. Not a child you teach. Completely different

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Does she not get paid for teaching those children?

Nimbostratus100 · 30/03/2023 20:37

Redebs · 30/03/2023 20:30

I agree actually.
There's no way she can continue at this school.
A temporary ban would be appropriate before she teaches again somewhere else

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she is absolutely not going to get banned for this! Having said that she doesn't sound happy in the school, and this smacks of someone burning their bridges, maybe having already resigned. Maybe even someone wanting their notice cut short.

If this is in the UK, she will be able to replace the school far more easily than the school can replace the teacher..

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:38

Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:35

Thats clients who you want money from though. Not a child you teach. Completely different

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So money talks right but it’s fine to insult children.

What would you say if I told you it was a private school?

OP posts:
Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:38

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:34

And I DON’T understand the perspective of someone who thinks it’s ok to behave this way. How can it possibly be justified?!

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Well take some time to try and understand. Talk to some teachers and really weigh up the reality of what they might be dealing with with your child. Its not JUSTIFIED but again, its understandable.

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:38

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:36

So if your doctor started telling their mates your name and that he thinks there’s something wrong with you, something he hadn’t shared with you personally, that would be ok as long as it was in the pub?

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I'm pretty sure the surgery would not apologise on their behalf without finding out all the ins and outs

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:38

Pubesofsoberness · 30/03/2023 20:35

She was out getting pissed with parents who's children go to the school she teaches at. The women doesn't seem to know what acting professionally is

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I don’t get the whole ‘she want at work’

@Hotvimto3 can a male teacher have sec with a female pupil as long as he’s not in school?

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:39

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 15:13

At my DD’s primary school, where there are a lot of children of teachers who attend - There was a mum’s night out last weekend. There, one of the teachers was making unkind comments about some of the children. Including that a couple were spoiled brats, she also speculated that ‘something is wrong’ with a particular child and also slagged off various parents. The people who attended the night out have complained to the headteacher as they felt this teacher, though very drunk, clearly crossed a line.

The school have done nothing but apologised on her behalf.

AIBU to think that more should be done and that they should be utterly outraged at this having happened?

So since last weekend, only on Wednesday, they have come out and apologised on the teachers behalf? Yeah as if!

Eyerollcentral · 30/03/2023 20:40

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:35

Of course I don’t expect them to love and adore every kid they teach but I do expect them as a basic trait to behave professionally and not call children names. I think that’s entirely reasonable.

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I don’t think saying a child is a spoilt brat (many are) or indeed saying there is something wrong there is particularly egregious. I do get it’s your child and I do get she shouldn’t have been talking about kids in front of other mothers when pissed. The phraseology is poor because it’s not a case of there being something ‘wrong’ but that your child needs extra support. You keep ignoring the fact that there is now a teaching professional agreeing with you that your child DOES need extra support. You can focus on how she said it or use what she said to get what you want for your child now. You are letting your anger blind you to that. You should be going to the head saying your own staff member has said they need help now what are you going to do about it or do I have to take this to the board of governors

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:40

Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:38

Well take some time to try and understand. Talk to some teachers and really weigh up the reality of what they might be dealing with with your child. Its not JUSTIFIED but again, its understandable.

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Weighed it up - in no circumstances is it EVER OK to air grievances to other parents. Ever.

OP posts:
Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:40

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:38

I don’t get the whole ‘she want at work’

@Hotvimto3 can a male teacher have sec with a female pupil as long as he’s not in school?

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Jesus christ. Obviously not and pathetic attempt at an argument re this topic. Honest to god.

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:41

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:38

I'm pretty sure the surgery would not apologise on their behalf without finding out all the ins and outs

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Even if several mates went to the surgery to complain?

Im waiting to find out where I’ve been caught out. Are you going to tell me?

OP posts:
jemimapuddlepluck · 30/03/2023 20:41

Let me tell you, if teachers can do shit like this and not be held accountable, then they do not have it bad at all. Let's expect more from the supposed professionals teaching our kids eh?

NormasJeans · 30/03/2023 20:41

The teacher’s behaviour suggests to me that she is handing in her notice at the end of term and doesn’t care anymore. If she is challenged, she will go off on sick until the end of the year. School could be aware of her plans to leave and know they can’t do much about her total lack of professionalism if they want to keep a trained teacher in the classroom until the end of the academic year, rather than rely on a chain of non subject specific supply teachers.

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:41

Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:40

Jesus christ. Obviously not and pathetic attempt at an argument re this topic. Honest to god.

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I think op is getting a tad desperate now 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Pubesofsoberness · 30/03/2023 20:42

Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:38

Well take some time to try and understand. Talk to some teachers and really weigh up the reality of what they might be dealing with with your child. Its not JUSTIFIED but again, its understandable.

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Bloody hell, the child is behind their peers but apparently not enough to need additional support. Op has said there has never been any problems with behaviour

How is saying there's something wrong with that child understandable? What's wrong with you?

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:43

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:41

Even if several mates went to the surgery to complain?

Im waiting to find out where I’ve been caught out. Are you going to tell me?

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I'm sure they'd take longer than 3 days to admit it all

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:43

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:39

So since last weekend, only on Wednesday, they have come out and apologised on the teachers behalf? Yeah as if!

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Why is it so hard to believe?! I don’t get it

OP posts:
Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:44

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:38

So money talks right but it’s fine to insult children.

What would you say if I told you it was a private school?

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You've answered your own question... money does talk

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:44

Eyerollcentral · 30/03/2023 20:40

I don’t think saying a child is a spoilt brat (many are) or indeed saying there is something wrong there is particularly egregious. I do get it’s your child and I do get she shouldn’t have been talking about kids in front of other mothers when pissed. The phraseology is poor because it’s not a case of there being something ‘wrong’ but that your child needs extra support. You keep ignoring the fact that there is now a teaching professional agreeing with you that your child DOES need extra support. You can focus on how she said it or use what she said to get what you want for your child now. You are letting your anger blind you to that. You should be going to the head saying your own staff member has said they need help now what are you going to do about it or do I have to take this to the board of governors

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For the millionth time - my DC, apparently, is fine and needs no support.

And she hasn’t told me at all - she made an ambiguous statement to other parents. How can you think what she did isn’t egregious?!

OP posts:
Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:45

Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:40

Jesus christ. Obviously not and pathetic attempt at an argument re this topic. Honest to god.

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So why did you claim it’s ok to not behave in a professional/safe manner when I it side of work?

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:46

flutterbyebaby · 30/03/2023 20:41

I think op is getting a tad desperate now 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Nah just getting kissed off with goady cunts who would not be ‘understandable’ if this happened to them

OP posts:
Original poster
MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:47

Pubesofsoberness · 30/03/2023 20:42

Bloody hell, the child is behind their peers but apparently not enough to need additional support. Op has said there has never been any problems with behaviour

How is saying there's something wrong with that child understandable? What's wrong with you?

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IKR!

There are SO many kids who are not in need of LS but also not flying, just stuck in the middle of the road. Apparently they deserve to be spoken about though to random people they don’t know

OP posts:
Hotvimto3 · 30/03/2023 20:47

MachboosRubyanAnne · 30/03/2023 20:45

So why did you claim it’s ok to not behave in a professional/safe manner when I it side of work?

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Why do you think. Jesus wept

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