DP's attitude to small amounts of money - boils my piss. AIBU?

[MissMoneyBallBags]

Me and DP are on the same page about 'big' finances.

But our attitudes to small amounts of money don't tally, and it boils my piss.

Let me give you some examples:

• DP never ever scans his Clubcard at Tesco to get things at the lower price. We don't shop at Tesco for the big shop, so it's only really when he gets a meal deal for lunch at work. But why wouldn't you just scan your card?

• If there's a multi-buy offer on at the supermarket, DP won't get the additional items if we don't need the additional item that week. But this is stuff that we will probably need the following week or the week after. And we have room for it. So why not just get it while its on offer?

• DP has to do tax self-assessments. He missed the January deadline. He'll get fined £100 if its not done by end of April. But DP's away a lot over the next month so I don't see him getting around to it. So he'll just end up paying £100 to the government needlessly.

It's relatively small amounts of money. We can afford it. And its his money so his choice. So I know I'm kind of BU.

But I find it infuriating and wasteful.
I'm not advocating for him massively going out of his way to save a few pennies. I'm suggesting that things like bunging an extra bottle of squash in the basket when it's a 2-for-1 offer, or scanning your Clubcard at the self-service checkout aren't huge undertakings or impositions so why the hell wouldn't you do it?!
Please tell me you can see my perspective and I'm not being wholly U?!

If you read the post properly, you'll see that I said it's no big deal in this context of BOGOFs, deals, Tesco, shopping etc. No, I don't expect him to worry too much about my way of thinking in this context.

But, in general, it's a fucking shit attitude to have. I'm his partner, of course things that I care about should be worth his 'cognitive resources'.

All these small amounts of money that he's costing you.....that add up to a much more substantial sum over the course of a year......Just consider them a fine for using the phrase "boils my piss".

You get off lightly TBH.

😂😂😂😂Fair point.

@MissMoneyBallBags

Get him a Tesco credit card and ask him to only use that in Tesco's. Each time he uses it he will get Tesco points without doing anything.

With multi-buy it depends how good an offer it is. If the additional item is free then I'd take it, unless it was massive and perishable and I wouldn't be able to eat/use it in time. The other day in Sainsbury's the assistant was pressing me to buy an additional item as it was better value overall. But I only needed two, not three (and the additional item would have made the bag super heavy) and I just didn't want to spend the extra money at that point.

The Clubcard thing is annoying - I have it on my phone so I hardly ever forget, and it takes £5 off the bill - I don't think of it as a discount but paying extra if I forgot, which would irritate me.

And missing the tax deadline would give me sleepless nights!

I agree. It's mildly disturbing even, to put that much on a partner.

I expect my husband to care about my writing, my career, and to respect my opinions even if he disagrees. Heck, if I buy lunch for him, I know that he always wants the meal deal, so I always buy it. He knows that picking the right lunch foods is my preference.

But adopting his choices on BOGOF?

No. We respect the fact that we have different approaches and different strengths. We don't try to make each other follow the other's priorities.

I actually find the not doing the tax return more understandable than not using the Clubcard to get money off his lunch.

Doing the tax return is a huge effort, you need to gather all your bits and pieces together and there's the worry of getting it wrong. When I had to do it, I didn't leave it because I'm far too thrifty to throw away £100, but I can totally see why it's daunting.

Whereas I'm genuinely guffawing at those decrying the mental effort of using a Clubcard. We use the vouchers to pay for a year's cinema membership, anyone who wants my data is welcome to it.

Nope, too much leeway being give here 😂

DP isn't daunted by it. He has all the bits and pieces in order. He just couldn't be fucking bothered.

@SquidwardBound

“Taking advantage of supermarket promotions actually requires additional work. You need to remember the club card, remember to use it, add promotions into your mental calculations are you are going round the supermarket. “

oh yeah, such hard work 🙄

I've not yet done my tax return. I don't care if that upsets public sector employees so much that they demand another 100 quid off me. I just round down my income to reduce my total bill in response.

You know you're admitting to a crime here, right?

You don't sound as cool as you probably think you do.

It's not that easy for DP, sadly.
He earns the same amount every month so randomly rounding down his income by however much the penalty is for one month will be pretty obvious 😬

But, in general, it's a fucking shit attitude to have.

I disagree, and I think you go too far in deciding what attitudes are shit.

From the grocer.
With shoppers needing to use Clubcard to access many of its promotions, penetration in large stores has increased from 67% to 80%, and across all stores it has gone from 57% to 70%.

So 20 to 30 percent of us are shit are we OP? Including your husband?

Where I live, there’s a marked difference between Clubcard prices & regular prices. You’d be mad not to use one. And I say that as person who doesn’t do loyalty cards. Tesco are kind of forcing you to get one, this way.
My DH would be the same. incidental spending really adds up with him, whereas I watch it more closely or get a good deal. He also tips ridiculous amounts... But, hey!

Eh? I think you've misunderstood my post. Bless you.

The 'shit attitude' I referred to isn't DP's attitude towards BOGOFs, promotions, Clubcards.

The 'shit attitude' which I referred to was a PP who said that DP shouldn't spend 'cognitive resource' on things which I care about.

As I have said in a previous post, as related to BOGOFs, promotions etc., fine. But, in general, I find it a shit attitude to have that DP shouldn't spend 'cognitive resource' on thinking about things I might care about.

It's an anonymous board.

Why would anyone want to sound cool. It's 2023, not 1950.

I get what you’re saying in the last post, MMBB. Annoys me that I’ll be conscious of bills / worried about money, when DH doesn’t give it a second thought. Until he’s stuck with no money...

The poor bastard missmoneybagballs.

We know where his balls are, in your money bag.

I think he should leave and take his shit attitude elsewhere, you can get custody of the clubcard account and a court order enforcing his daily use. You can check the points each day and take him back to court if he doesn't do it. It's 40p after all.

I didn’t make a mistake.
They were charged double because they are not old enough to have a club card which gives a half price discount.

Please see my previous post. The 'shit attitude' I referred to isn't DP's.

The 'shit attitude' I referred to is a PP who suggested that DP shouldn't spend 'cognitive resource' thinking about things I care about. I said this was, in general, a shit attitude to have towards couple-dom.

DP is, of course, free to leave at any point. It's not a hostage situation 😅

They couldn’t have been charged double if they missed out on a discount. They paid the standard price. Why didn’t you lend them your Clubvcard?

It is a case of them being charged double if they have no opportunity to get the discount. You have to be 18 to register for a clubcard.

YABU for saying “Boils my piss”. Don’t do that in the real world unless you want to give everyone the ick!

Me and DP are on the same page about 'big' finances.

But then he hasn't done his tax returns; so I wonder if he actually agrees with you, or if he just avoids anything he thinks might cause him extra work, conflict or aggravation.

If they were being charged double they’d be paying the shelf price x 2. As it is they’re not paying the shelf price minus 50%. Don’t they teach maths and comprehension in schools any more?