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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is a complete waste of bloody money now?!

479 replies

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:09

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

OP posts:
Marchintospring · 29/03/2023 22:17

Ooohh. I know. He was thinking of the lovely Barbour jacket he’d be unwrapping and the idea of fields and wellies got stuck in his subconscious whilst he was looking for weekends away on Booking .com and bingo…he buys the stupid rural weekend away.

PolkaDotMankini · 29/03/2023 22:20

I would not be going and I wouldn't be putting up with his DARVO crap either.

Daffodilwoman · 29/03/2023 22:21

Oh op I’m sorry but I can’t stop laughing.
This must go down as the worst gift ever.
You won’t arrive until midnight and then you have to get up and leave at 4am…..wtaf?
Then add in having to take your dogs, no electricity, the fact you are breastfeeding. Not to mention you could stay at home and have a better time. I really don’t have any advice.

redyellowpinkbluegreen · 29/03/2023 22:25

I'd send him and have a weekend on your own

ShandaLear · 29/03/2023 22:27

Book an all inclusive to 5 star hotel in Mykonos for a week and let him look after the kids and animals. Now it’s a present. Hell would freeze over before I got up at 4am to go and sit in some hut in the arsehole of nowhere just because he forgot to get you a present.

trytopullyoursocksup · 29/03/2023 22:28

OMG the breastfeeding bit you have added is making me even more furious.
He doesn't remotely get it, does he.

I was you - higher earner, two kids, one breastfeeding, joint account, desperately trying to keep all the balls in the air on no sleep and always fielding random selfish thoughtless shit and being accused of being unkind that I didn't love every fucking stupid idea.

I wish I'd been blunter.

YouTarzan · 29/03/2023 22:28

I's struggle to get up at 4am if the prize was sunny climes, much less a fucking hut in a field!!!

Antiquiteas · 29/03/2023 22:29

I feel a bit upset for you, OP. Not just because the weekend sounds shit and hard work, but because he put no thought into it, booked it two hours before Christmas started, used half your money, hadn’t considered what you’d like or need, and is being a shit to you for pointing it out. Is he always so shit at presents or anything that’s just for you?

gerbilcrocus · 29/03/2023 22:30

I’ll have to express while we’re away… but this place doesn’t have a fridge…

It just gets worse.

This trip sounds like a cruelly contrived ordeal, not a treat in any way. What is there to look forward to?

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 29/03/2023 22:35

I'm no psychic

gerbilcrocus · 29/03/2023 22:37

But I'm intrigued about this AirBnB. What is special about it? Why did he pick that one? Why is it worth travelling 4 hours to?

Nothing... He clearly chose it in 2 minutes flat without any thought whatsoever... He just thought "that'll do" at the first advert he saw, as he panicked on Christmas Eve night.

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 29/03/2023 22:39

Oops, posted too soon!

I'm no psychic but predict an epic argument if you go thru with this depressingly awful weekend "getaway". Cut your losses, have a nice dinner out and sleep in the next day. And never, ever allow him plan another weekend away!

gerbilcrocus · 29/03/2023 22:41

Zanatdy · 29/03/2023 20:36

At least get him to try and get the dogs sorted with some last minute boarding etc

Well, that's a way to make a shit trip away, a shit trip away say that's even more expensive! The presence of the dogs isn't the real problem here.

gerbilcrocus · 29/03/2023 22:45

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 29/03/2023 22:39

Oops, posted too soon!

I'm no psychic but predict an epic argument if you go thru with this depressingly awful weekend "getaway". Cut your losses, have a nice dinner out and sleep in the next day. And never, ever allow him plan another weekend away!

I agree. Nothing good will come from you going away for this weekend.

I feel mad on your behalf. All those people saying "book a nice hotel instead".... would you really feel like going away for a romantic weekend away with your DH if they'd been so spectacularly shit?

ilovesushi · 29/03/2023 22:49

It sounds stressful and annoying and you are only going to feel peed off by every little thing if you go.

IcedBananas · 29/03/2023 22:51

Ok so the money is lost for sure. Would there be anything else closer to where the kids that you would like to do instead while the kids are cared for? Maybe suggest he books that instead and then you can get a good nights sleep too as you don’t have a long drive to factor in

gerbilcrocus · 29/03/2023 22:53

Chickenwing2 · 29/03/2023 19:53

I think it sounds good fun, if you try and look at it positively- a night somewhere different with a husband that did buy you a gift.

It would be hurtful and ungrateful not to go.

What the fuck sounds fun about getting to a cabin with no electricity at midnight after a 4 hour drive with dogs on a chilly malting day, and getting up at 3:30am the following "morning" for a four hour drive back, while expressing milk you're going to have to throw away?

Why not commit a crime - sounds like you'd love a lovely stay in one of those plush prison cells - full board and everything! Hmm

Lovingmynewbicycle · 29/03/2023 22:58

Please tell me you have definitely decided not to go...

pixie5121 · 29/03/2023 23:06

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 29/03/2023 23:09

BreadPittt · 29/03/2023 18:02

You sound bloody selfish to me.

I'd love someone to book me a mini break.

This is far from, in any way, a 'break' 😂

8 hours round trip, one full day.. And 2 broken nights sleep with late arrival and early (well middle of the night) departure at 4 bloody AM! 🤣

BreadPitt · 29/03/2023 23:16

OP this sounds utterly miserable in the height of summer, so the thought of it on little sleep on what’s potentially a cold, damp April weekend is a complete no from me.

I had a foot spa from DH when we were first married. A total panic present as he walked past Boots on his way home from work on Christmas Eve. I have never expressed any desires to own or use a foot spa. I returned it and bought some nice perfume.
Now if I see anything I want over the year I put it in an Amazon wish list and he chooses from that. Makes life easier.

SchoolTripDrama · 29/03/2023 23:16

BreadPittt · 29/03/2023 18:02

You sound bloody selfish to me.

I'd love someone to book me a mini break.

A mini-break? Op would be there for less than a day. She would be in the car longer than they're there for! That's not a mini break!

Clymene · 29/03/2023 23:19

Don't go. It's just throwing good money after bad. You won't be able to turn up at midnight anyway so it's a total no starter

What a fucking useless lazy arsehole your husband is.

SchoolTripDrama · 29/03/2023 23:25

BreadPitt · 29/03/2023 23:16

OP this sounds utterly miserable in the height of summer, so the thought of it on little sleep on what’s potentially a cold, damp April weekend is a complete no from me.

I had a foot spa from DH when we were first married. A total panic present as he walked past Boots on his way home from work on Christmas Eve. I have never expressed any desires to own or use a foot spa. I returned it and bought some nice perfume.
Now if I see anything I want over the year I put it in an Amazon wish list and he chooses from that. Makes life easier.

You soon changed your tune!

billy1966 · 29/03/2023 23:28

Not a chance would I go.

What an utterly selfish lazy waster he has shown himself to be.

You have every right to be furious at mostly money earned by you so thoughtlessness spent.

Definitely don't go, nothing good will come of going on such a ridiculous trip.

Useless men get away with this stuff because women protect their feelings.

I wouldn't do that in this instance.

This selfishness is your life if you accept him being so thoughtless.

Him being upset at you not being grateful for this shit show would totally put me over the edge.🙄

I'm sorry OP.

You Definitely deserve better than this.