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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a complete waste of bloody money now?!

479 replies

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:09

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

OP posts:
BreadPitt · 29/03/2023 23:38

SchoolTripDrama · 29/03/2023 23:25

You soon changed your tune!

Show quote history

Eh? This is my first post to the thread?

Mumoftwoinprimary · 29/03/2023 23:44

BreadPitt · 29/03/2023 23:38

Eh? This is my first post to the thread?

Show quote history

You posted at 18:02. I will quote it in my next post.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 29/03/2023 23:45

BreadPittt · 29/03/2023 18:02

You sound bloody selfish to me.

I'd love someone to book me a mini break.

Hmmm - looks like there are two near identical user names……

One of which was aggressively unpleasant.

BreadPitt · 29/03/2023 23:49

I’ve been using this username on and off since 2015, the other appears to be new and has chosen something insanely close.
So not me I’m afraid.

BreadPitt · 29/03/2023 23:50

Though clearly if I’m going to be associated it’s probably one to retire now.

VivaLesTartes · 30/03/2023 00:27

Sorry I have no advice but the timings of this holiday sound more like a stress dream I have had than a weekend away.

Personally could not get my head round going that sort of distance for 24 hour break, I'd rather send the kids off and do something nice at home.

Ineedcoffee2021 · 30/03/2023 00:58

A break is supposed to be relaxing
This whole thing just sounds tedious, cold and annoying

It could be a great gift, for the right person but he obviously has put no thought into it for you and what you want from a gift and a weekend away
If he wanted a fast, last minute idea he would have been better off getting you a gift card from your favorite store

Zanatdy · 30/03/2023 05:32

gerbilcrocus · 29/03/2023 22:41

Well, that's a way to make a shit trip away, a shit trip away say that's even more expensive! The presence of the dogs isn't the real problem here.

Show quote history

Well with no dogs at least they can go out for some meals etc. If she’s going she might aswell try and enjoy it rather than sitting there miserable. Or just don’t go.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 30/03/2023 08:02

Bubblesoffun · 29/03/2023 21:15

Honestly, if any husband had refused to go on a weekend away organised by one of you he would be called a child and the MNer told to leave him as he clearly doesn’t care about her. But all this ‘just don’t go’ responses. You sound like stroppy teens. Actually sounds like he would have a better time without you there.

There's always one. Is the husband lactating, in this scenario?

Original poster
TheScreams · 30/03/2023 09:00

Thanks all, I’m so torn. I want a nice, romantic weekend away with DH. Either way, I won’t be getting that.

OP posts:
mightymam · 30/03/2023 09:10

Let him go with the children and you stay home for the weekend and do whatever you want to.

ssd · 30/03/2023 09:18

@TheScreams , you know this will be in the daily mail soon??

Original poster
TheScreams · 30/03/2023 09:30

ssd · 30/03/2023 09:18

@TheScreams , you know this will be in the daily mail soon??

It bloody better not be.

OP posts:
coconutpie · 30/03/2023 09:34

What a shit gift he got for you. In fact, I wouldn't even classify that as a gift. I just would not go. And when he starts to sulk and play the victim, tell him that next time he shouldn't leave getting a gift for you so last minute and to put zero thought or effort into it because it shows just how much he thinks of you. No way would I go.

SweetCoriander · 30/03/2023 09:39

I think the guilt trip he’s laying on you now, OP, is shitter than the shit ‘gift’.

GreenIsle · 30/03/2023 09:44

Have you explain why the relatives can't take the children earlier.

Original poster
TheScreams · 30/03/2023 09:53

GreenIsle · 30/03/2023 09:44

Have you explain why the relatives can't take the children earlier.

Sorry, the relative is working. Their job is closely tied to the tax year so they’re very busy at the moment.

OP posts:
gerbilcrocus · 30/03/2023 09:59

TheScreams · 30/03/2023 09:00

Thanks all, I’m so torn. I want a nice, romantic weekend away with DH. Either way, I won’t be getting that.

I'm amazed you still want a nice romantic weekend with your DH after this utter shitshow!

How can all this not shut down your desire for romance with him stone cold dead?

Brefugee · 30/03/2023 11:03

Honestly, if any husband had refused to go on a weekend away organised by one of you he would be called a child and the MNer told to leave him as he clearly doesn’t care about her. But all this ‘just don’t go’ responses. You sound like stroppy teens. Actually sounds like he would have a better time without you there.

bollocks. it's 28 hours. Don't be such an appeaser (or are you the DH?)

but the relative, honestly, what a twat. They work in something finance related and the words March and 31st didn't scream "QUARTERLY CLOSING" at them? fucker.

But in your shoes? i would say I am not going away with the dogs for 28 hours. You go. Take the dogs. Relative can take the DCs and i am staying home with books and tea an inside toilet and electricity.

Don't let the door smack you on the backside on the way out.
(and because i am hugely petty i'd be trying to return some, any, all of the gifts you gave him)

In future he gets a list - as long as you like - and he buys from that list or he gets grief again.

Laiste · 30/03/2023 11:18

No electricity.
Very little sleep.
8 hours on the road.
Dogs to come with you.
Pumping breast milk to throw down the drain.
Last minute present.

Obvs a no.

He's been thoughtless at best.

OP, try to take a deep breath and calm right down. Sit down with him and calmly tell him that you'll have to agree to disagree on this one. You don't want to go - you've told him clearly why. Reiterate the above reasons. And then leave it.

Let the weekend come and go.

Return to the issues when the emotion has all gone out of the situation in a couple of weeks.

happysingleversary · 30/03/2023 12:13

Why waste time and money when you can just waste money?

THisbackwithavengeance · 30/03/2023 12:42

Why don't you just divorce your DH OP and then everyone on this thread will be happy?

Why don't you take the kids with you?

Or just go, and accept the shortcomings and try and have a nice time anyway?

Or try and find alternative childcare?

But no, people won't be satisfied until you've thrown your toys out the pram, had a screaming, petulant row, sulked for a week and given your DH what for for trying to do something nice.

Misery loves company is all I can see on here. I sometimes think some mumsnetters really want other people's marriages to fail.

gerbilcrocus · 30/03/2023 12:51

Strange response given i don't believe there's been a single LTB in the whole thread!

You say the OPs DH tried to do something nice... when it's crystal clear hasn't really tried to do anything at all.

As for the ones on here who have miserable lives, I'd say they seem to be more those who feel the need to be grateful to their DH for any crumb that is thrown their way, and would say "thank you very much"'if served a shit sandwich because it would mean he at least knew where the kitchen was and was capable of locating the bread and a plate without instruction!

gerbilcrocus · 30/03/2023 12:51

gerbilcrocus · 30/03/2023 12:51

Strange response given i don't believe there's been a single LTB in the whole thread!

You say the OPs DH tried to do something nice... when it's crystal clear hasn't really tried to do anything at all.

As for the ones on here who have miserable lives, I'd say they seem to be more those who feel the need to be grateful to their DH for any crumb that is thrown their way, and would say "thank you very much"'if served a shit sandwich because it would mean he at least knew where the kitchen was and was capable of locating the bread and a plate without instruction!

That was a reply to @THisbackwithavengeance

Sammyandtheboocas · 30/03/2023 13:07

Laiste · 30/03/2023 11:18

No electricity.
Very little sleep.
8 hours on the road.
Dogs to come with you.
Pumping breast milk to throw down the drain.
Last minute present.

Obvs a no.

He's been thoughtless at best.

OP, try to take a deep breath and calm right down. Sit down with him and calmly tell him that you'll have to agree to disagree on this one. You don't want to go - you've told him clearly why. Reiterate the above reasons. And then leave it.

Let the weekend come and go.

Return to the issues when the emotion has all gone out of the situation in a couple of weeks.

Great response.

Seriously, you can't go ..he knows that and you know that.

The people looking after your children sound like they could possibly do without it as well.

Arguing about why it was such a shit, thoughtless present isn't really going help I guess . If DH has anything about him, he will know what he has done and won't repeat it.

What you can do, if your childcare can still manage an overnighter on the Saturday, is go out for a nice meal somewhere. I assume the dogs can be left for 3-4 hrs?

You wouldn't be spending any more than you would in petrol and a pub lunch if you were away.