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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think this is a complete waste of bloody money now?!

479 replies

TheScreams · 29/03/2023 16:09

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 29/03/2023 21:20

It is bloody annoying, but do you not get much time just the two of you? If not it's worth going anyway. Admittedly it will be hard to reconnect if you're silently seething.

whynotwhatknot · 29/03/2023 21:20

sorry i see it was confirmed at the time but they shold have been clearler about the times

Woodywasatwat · 29/03/2023 21:20

God, can you actually be arsed?

Two nights, one where you arrive at midnight, the other you leave at the crack of dawn.

With dogs (sorry dogs).

Fuck that.

SweetCoriander · 29/03/2023 21:21

YukoandHiro · 29/03/2023 21:20

It is bloody annoying, but do you not get much time just the two of you? If not it's worth going anyway. Admittedly it will be hard to reconnect if you're silently seething.

And trying to stumble to the toilet in the dark

BasiliskStare · 29/03/2023 21:22

So was this last Christmas present but booked for end March ?

FacebookFun · 29/03/2023 21:23

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

Gremlins101 · 29/03/2023 21:25

Getting there at midnight and then leaving 4 am only 28 hours later would be a hard no for me.

Climbles · 29/03/2023 21:25

Have a staycation. Get the kids looked after but just stay at home. Get a takeaway, go to a nice pub or restaurant or buy some nicer than normal food and wine. Just do lots of nice things and try to forget that he’s not great at presents/organisation/thoughtfulness

Sparkletastic · 29/03/2023 21:28

Send him with the older child. You and baby hang out at home with plenty of nice food and drink for you.

IScreamMonday · 29/03/2023 21:37

The point of a weekend away when children are little is to sleep blissfully undisturbed. I'd lose my mind if DH suggested a 'break' that involved getting up before 4am to come home. Tbh the only way I'd be up for getting somewhere at midnight would be if they had excellent room service.

Original poster
TheScreams · 29/03/2023 21:37

This reply has been deleted

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

I’ll have to express while we’re away… but this place doesn’t have a fridge…

OP posts:
Flyinggeesei234 · 29/03/2023 21:40

googledidnthelp · 29/03/2023 21:04

I'd be tempted to go alone... or send him with the kids!

I can’t see what anyone could be tempted by!

FacebookFun · 29/03/2023 21:40

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

MrsMiddleMother · 29/03/2023 21:41

I just wouldn't go if I was you

Original poster
TheScreams · 29/03/2023 21:42

TwinsAndTiramisu · 29/03/2023 21:12

@TheScreams

For balance, what did you get him?

I got him a Barbour jacket he wanted, three sports massages, and some smaller gifts (books, pajamas, cosmetics, etc). I also did him a stocking and he didn’t do me one (not that I’m bitter about that 😂)

I just asked him what I got him for Christmas and he said he can’t remember so maybe I shouldn’t have bothered.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheScreams · 29/03/2023 21:46

I just went through the advert with him and pointed out all the things that sound awful to me and all I can get from him is “I just thought it would be nice”. The truth is that I was fully prepared to put on a brave face and try my hardest to have a nice time until I found out I’d be getting more bloody sleep at home without any “childcare”. Now, the more I look into every aspect of it, it sounds shit. I just wanted a childfree weekend away with my husband - I’m baffled that he thinks this is something I would want. I’d honestly rather he’d done nothing at all.

OP posts:
Thepossibility · 29/03/2023 21:54

Yeah no way I'd be going on that.
Freezing cold/no relaxation/no sleep/ NO ELECTRICITY.
Fuck his feelings, it sounds like actual hell of a weekend.
Then you get to go to work knackered after all that!

User639762456 · 29/03/2023 21:57

Oh dear, it will probably rain as well

Azulocean · 29/03/2023 21:59

Book a nice hotel and go there instead, if he wants to join you fine, if not let him enjoy the camping with the dogs 🤣

BasiliskStare · 29/03/2023 22:03

@TheScreams Honestly - this is sunk cost. I would thank him , point out the disadvantages and take advantage of people looking after the children and go for a lovely lunch somewhere nearby and possibly an overnight stay. I would do that. Whether he thought you would like it or not as going away as a couple - surely he can see that is not relaxing for you or you point it out. Honestly I would. & Just tell him next time not to panic just buy you a voucher to go shopping if he has not bought you a present by Christmas Eve.

Alternatively smother him with his Barbour Jacket and stick him under the patio ( although you will need a convincing story for the children for this - Daddy's gone to live on the farm with the gerbils ? )

pictoosh · 29/03/2023 22:05

He didn’t think it would be nice. He didn’t think at all. He panic booked something at the 11th hour and thought that would keep you quiet about the fact that he hadn’t bothered getting you anything, despite Christmas happening at the same time every year.

Tell him he looks like a wanker in his Barbour jacket.

FusionChefGeoff · 29/03/2023 22:10

I'd have to have it out with him

"No. No you didn't. You didn't think AT ALL otherwise you would have realised that it's a shit idea that won't be enjoyable, won't be relaxing and causes more trouble than it's worth. It shows a complete lack of care and consideration for me, for what I need, for what my life is right now and I'm really bloody hurt by it. I'm not going and I suggest you come up with something PROPER to make up for it that includes at least 1 full nights sleep, no fucking dogs or kids, closer to home, electricity and a luxury bathroom including a sodding toilet!"

Then I'd slam some doors and go for a walk and a coffee.

determinedtomakethiswork · 29/03/2023 22:10

Look up sunk cost fallacy and tell him you're not going. It's just not worth it. It's not a treat, it's more like a punishment.

Original poster
TheScreams · 29/03/2023 22:12

FusionChefGeoff · 29/03/2023 22:10

I'd have to have it out with him

"No. No you didn't. You didn't think AT ALL otherwise you would have realised that it's a shit idea that won't be enjoyable, won't be relaxing and causes more trouble than it's worth. It shows a complete lack of care and consideration for me, for what I need, for what my life is right now and I'm really bloody hurt by it. I'm not going and I suggest you come up with something PROPER to make up for it that includes at least 1 full nights sleep, no fucking dogs or kids, closer to home, electricity and a luxury bathroom including a sodding toilet!"

Then I'd slam some doors and go for a walk and a coffee.

That is eerily close to what I’ve said to him. Eerily close.

OP posts:
Sammyandtheboocas · 29/03/2023 22:13

Definitely don't go.

It will be awful, it's a thoughtless, impractical gift that your money has been spent on, and your DH is just doubling down on it now.

The fuel expense would be just one reason to call the whole thing off, in addition to everything else.

He's fucked up royally, and that's the end of it.

It reminds me of the gig ticket gifts my partner used to get me, for stuff we had no hope of getting to, or would involve days off work and expensive hotels. We just used to conveniently forget about them, and I'd never have a pressie.

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