Did I do a one night stand wrong?! Getting ripped from my friends

[marrc]

My friends are currently laughing at my “failed” one night stand last night.

Very unlike me, but I met up with a guy yesterday at his place. I’ve come out of a LTR and definitely do not want a boyfriend, at all. I just wanted sex.

Anyway, he paid for me to get to his house for 3pm yesterday (friends thought the time was hilarious for some reason??), we talked for an hour or so and then had sex. After sex he said he’d like it if I stayed the night (I presume for further/morning sex). We watched a film, had sex and then spoke a bit longer. We got on well and had the same sense of humour so it wasn’t awkward or anything! Anyway, I left at around 11 this morning after staying the night (we didn’t have sex this morning, just cuddled).

friends feel I’ve done it wrong because:

1. I stayed the night? Apparently you should leave straight after the deed? (Not sure why this is weird - it’s nice to sleep next to someone and cuddle?)
2. We were laughing and talking (apparently this is “not boundaried”)
3. i arrived too early and should have gone around 10pm

Is there a rule book I’m missing out on?!? Was I a weirdo?? I thought I was being normal!

@Greenfairydust

how do you know op didn’t tell people where she was going??

Yes exactly! Cheap.

Has op not been back? Not that worried then...

Maybe she's gone back for more 😜

Why must everyone be scared oddly prescriptive? Weird.

@LuckySantangelo35

I’m not saying she shouldn’t have had a shag, I was simply saying all one nighters carry an element of risk whether you meet them at 3pm or 10pm. Online or offline. Now I was partial to a one night stand myself in my former years but they were defo more riskier than my husband. Fact. You can choose to marry someone nice, I know I did.

I had a one night stand 13 years ago. I left his house after the deed was done. Followed whatever bullshit rules your mates have. Found out a month after I was pregnant. Had a DS followed closely after with a DD to the same man and ended up marrying him. Divorced now. Don’t follow your mates rules 😂

Why did he pay for you to get to his place? This wouldn't feel right to me and has slight escort vibes!

Your friends are just arseholes. Probably jealous ones at that. Timento make some new ones.

The best one night stand I ever had stayed over, had breakfast and disappeared from my life. There are no rules, as long as the participants are willing and happy then anything goes

If you felt safe and enjoyed yourselves (both of you) then what the hell has it got to do with your "friends". They sound like twats!

Your friends are describing a booty call, if you got what you wanted out of the night with this bloke, then it’s the right way. Tell your friends to shush. Nothing wrong with having a laugh etc and not being a total robot.

Whatever makes you happy and feels right is YANBU. Maybe a bit of awe they wouldn't take the risk. There are no predescibed rules so fine, you both got what u wanted, it was safe and fun.

Your friends are jealous

There's no rule book ffs

So, you met a guy who’s company you enjoyed, had sex a couple of times, laughed and then had cuddles in the morning? Oh, the audacity!
I don’t really think that there’s an instruction manual on how to have a proper one night stand. If there was and you failed miserably, then who cares? Sounds like you had fun and that’s all that matters!

Sounds ok to me!

Is there a "right" way to have a 1NS? Do what you feel is right in the moment. Life is too short to conform to friends like yours

@Crunchymum "I must be getting old but why would you go to some random persons house???"

Yes you are. Its called shagging around. And its the 21st c. haha

I had a FWB and I strictly prohibited over night stays, cuddles etc. once the deed was done, off you pop!

I’ve stayed the night with all but one of my one night stands & I left early in that instance because he got very weird & I didn’t feel comfortable there.
Yes we hooked up in bar/nightclub/works Xmas party & went home late but I have also hooked up for no strings fun earlier in the day & ended up either myself or them staying the night as we really enjoyed ourselves.
All consenting adults so no harm in having your itch scratched when you need it scratching.
Being still dressed in last nights clothes with your makeup less than brilliant is half of the fun of coming home in the morning AFTER the one night stand.

Your friends are twats

You enjoyed yourself and that’s all that matters. Your friends sound annoying.

Your friends need to get out more. There are no rules! Whatever works. Definitely agree with others that they are jealous of your self assuredness. I’d stop giving them info about about any future liaisons!

Most one night stands I know of start by meeting someone at a party or pub or whatever, hitting it off, going home with them for sex and then leaving in the morning never to be seen again. This does not preclude laughing or watching a film. And most involve staying the night.
The only thing is going over so early I guess. Like it was set up from the get go to be a one night stand rather than something that just happened spontaneously.

If your friends think casual ‘no strings’ sex has to be soulless, brief, and unfriendly then that’s rather sad.

Congratulations on having a nice shag. Now get some better friends.

The only "rule" I know of for a one-night stand is that both parties know exactly what it is, and what it is not. LOL, I had, many years ago, a one-night stand that ran on for three days. And we parted quite pleased with it and ourselves, and never saw each other again.