Did I do a one night stand wrong?! Getting ripped from my friends

[marrc]

My friends are currently laughing at my “failed” one night stand last night.

Very unlike me, but I met up with a guy yesterday at his place. I’ve come out of a LTR and definitely do not want a boyfriend, at all. I just wanted sex.

Anyway, he paid for me to get to his house for 3pm yesterday (friends thought the time was hilarious for some reason??), we talked for an hour or so and then had sex. After sex he said he’d like it if I stayed the night (I presume for further/morning sex). We watched a film, had sex and then spoke a bit longer. We got on well and had the same sense of humour so it wasn’t awkward or anything! Anyway, I left at around 11 this morning after staying the night (we didn’t have sex this morning, just cuddled).

friends feel I’ve done it wrong because:

1. I stayed the night? Apparently you should leave straight after the deed? (Not sure why this is weird - it’s nice to sleep next to someone and cuddle?)
2. We were laughing and talking (apparently this is “not boundaried”)
3. i arrived too early and should have gone around 10pm

Is there a rule book I’m missing out on?!? Was I a weirdo?? I thought I was being normal!

Why is everyone saying it was "safe"?

It sounds like you knew what you wanted and enjoyed it.

There is no set format for this, you did what you wanted to do.

In my one night stand days, long ago, they always lasted at least one night, hence the name.

I was able to inspect many bedraggled bedrooms, fancy studios and newly-hoovered hotel rooms, and compare the water pressure in a large variety of shower cubicles.

Can't remember much about the blokes though.

I've never had a one-night stand so didn't realise there was a rulebook!

Getting paid for sex is doing a ONS wrong unless you intended to be a sex worker.

Paying a stranger to come over for sex is being an escort. A one night stand is just two people having sex but no money exchanges hands.

I would be worried for you safety. It worked out but going to a strangers house isn't a good idea. He could of been a weirdo and done anything to you. As your friend I would be begging you not to do this again not taking the piss out of you !

YABU to involve your friends in your sex life to this extent. They wouldn't be laughing at you if they didn't know.

This.

Paying for someone to get from A to B means he paid for a taxi. One of them had to pay for the transport- in this case it was him. It's very obvious and clear that this is what happened. Stop comparing the OP to a sex worker. It doesn't make you look edgy.

You did what felt good to you. One night stands do not have to be this very transactional thing ! I don't understand what your friends problem is? There is no right or wrong why to do it. Some of us need to build a lilttle connection before getting intimate even if it is just having a drink or chatting a bit
You can have a lovely time even just for one night- share a meal a laugh cuddle why not? We are humans not robots !

He absolutely did not.

He knew he was gonna get a shag, he'd have paid for a limo if she'd asked!

Did you leave with a smile on your face??
That's all that counts!

Another one here who did a ONS wrong 11 years ago and he's still here.

OP's ONS sounds very civilised and a lot of fun.

The smelling salts reactions sprinkled throughout this thread are hilarious.

I have actually paid for a man to come to mine for a ONS. (We were messaging and obviously both up for it but were bickering over who had to leave their house in some disgusting weather, and I said "I'll call you a cab" first. I don't think I made him feel like a sex worker.)

Your friends sound deeply weird tbh.

You wanted no strings sex not a literal fucking robot!

I'd be worried about these people , whereas you sound perfectly normal and human.

You don’t have to tell your friends everything. If you’re happy, that’s ALL that matters.

Ignore your friends there isn't a rule book. If you was happy with what happened then tell them you was and it's not up for debate

Your ‘friends’ don’t sound very friendly at all. And actually, nowadays with internet dating, that’s exactly how I imagine a one night stand would go!
If you had a good time, fuck what anyone else thinks - just always be careful and always tell one trustworthy person your whereabouts for any further similar meetings!

I think it would be a lot more strange to follow all the "rules" your friends are suggesting. I wouldn't discuss such personal matters with your friends. It's your business and you don't need their approval or disapproval.

Good point about telling someone....

Many things being raised here, one being safety. I'd let a friend know the address and agree to text them at x time to say I was OK.

Another aspect being raised seems to be shaming a woman for wanting casual sex. It's 2023 and yes, women are allowed to want sex outside of a relationship.

I'm in my 30's and yes, my close friends and I discuss sex in detail.

OP, I'm sorry you've had so many shitty responses on here but seems like you had a great time. Not sure why your friends would laugh but perhaps it's because it doesn't fit the stereotype of a ONS.

Hey, c'mon

Your friends sound very immature. Are you all young? I can’t imagine why they need to know all of these details down to the times of arrival / departure and whether you laughed or not. Don’t feed them this info so they can take the piss out of you like a bunch of idiots. You’re an adult and it’s your one night stand not theirs: I’m not following why you would need to do things their way. You have a one night stand the way that suits you.

@704703hey op hasn't come back to clarify the paid part. She put herself at risk of sexual assault, infection and pregnancy..., and for what?