Did I do a one night stand wrong?! Getting ripped from my friends

[marrc]

My friends are currently laughing at my “failed” one night stand last night.

Very unlike me, but I met up with a guy yesterday at his place. I’ve come out of a LTR and definitely do not want a boyfriend, at all. I just wanted sex.

Anyway, he paid for me to get to his house for 3pm yesterday (friends thought the time was hilarious for some reason??), we talked for an hour or so and then had sex. After sex he said he’d like it if I stayed the night (I presume for further/morning sex). We watched a film, had sex and then spoke a bit longer. We got on well and had the same sense of humour so it wasn’t awkward or anything! Anyway, I left at around 11 this morning after staying the night (we didn’t have sex this morning, just cuddled).

friends feel I’ve done it wrong because:

1. I stayed the night? Apparently you should leave straight after the deed? (Not sure why this is weird - it’s nice to sleep next to someone and cuddle?)
2. We were laughing and talking (apparently this is “not boundaried”)
3. i arrived too early and should have gone around 10pm

Is there a rule book I’m missing out on?!? Was I a weirdo?? I thought I was being normal!

@Flyinggeesei234

well thing is op wanted sex every bit as much as he did
it was an arrangement designed to satisfy both of their needs equally
so nothing like prostitution
can’t see what’s awful about it all tbh - op wanted sex, she got it. Happy days

You had sex with someone that you couldn’t be arsed to get dressed and get the metro for.

And despite knowing this, he was so desperate that he offered to pay

Bit extreme 😳 maybe if he was launching you out the door straight after, half dressed with a pre paid taxi already waiting 🤣

Jealousy.

A very ugly emotion.

You enjoyed it. How bad can that be.

Personal disclosure the right sense of humour is for me the top thing to make someone sexually appealing.

I wouldn't call what you did a one night stand. Although I'm not sure what I'd call it so from that pov, I can see why your friends thought it was funny.

I don't have any hang ups about ONS but the fact he paid you to arrive is that bit I personally wouldn't like. To me, it's too close to being paid for sex, but severely underpaid.

But if you're happy, you don't need to justify yourself to anyone.

Well you're pleasant aren't you? At the time I was actually hoping he come to mine or looking for him to convince me to really come over. He did. And as I said - we had a lovely time.

Reading this makes me glad I'm almost 50. Men have it way too easy these days.

And fortunately women feel confident enough to enjoy and want sex these days. She literally did this for herself, to meet her needs.

Your friends are just being judgey! Personally, I prefer to go home to my own bed but that's just me. It might not be right for you.

And sex before lunch (let alone after 3:00 pm) is great too!

I always carry condoms in my handbag and some friends get judged over that. The irony is one of those same friends asked to "borrow" one on a night out last year.

Don't tell your friends if you have another ONS.

Sounds like they are jealous. Silly friends. There's no rule book and he sounds respectful.

YABU for worrying about your friends’ weird hang ups.

I'm no expert on the subject, but it seems to me that if the lady has to do all the travelling, the gentlemanly thing to do is to contribute to her costs, at least one way. He's just sitting on his ass at home in comfort. Least he can do is to make it easier for her.

Anyway: OP, sounds like you're doing ONS right, but your friends are doing friending wrong.

I'd say my last one night stand was a failure. Here we are 11 years later.

As long as it was one night and you had sex and you felt comfortable. It was a success!

Sounds more like a sneaky link to me 😏

I thought some contextual details missing, it’s the going to his house for sex and him paying for her to get there, at 3pm which is the unusual part. Not the staying over etc.

I happened upon this thread earlier today and returning to it I can see that while of course there's nothing wrong with the OP and her point of view, it might be seen as funny!

A one-night stand suggests a sort of highly charged collision course, win or lose, smash and grab bit of erotic slam dunk which could go either way, the most stupendous night of sex or a shabby half-arsed humiliating wake up to find your wallet nicked or you're late for work scenario! Usually with some murky 1am drunken or Class A undertones, the cab back home or grotty night bus.

Instead, the OP has gone about it in a very civilised way, quite middle class in outlook, nothing seedy or carnal or 'dangerous', playing it safe with an afternoon date, why not catch a bit of Midsomer Murders while you're at it and do you want your teabag in or out, full fat milk or some soya? Maybe have a bit of a nap and then start again...

It's a far cry from the alley cat on heat shenanigans of a one-nighter!

Perhaps that's the comedy angle they are looking at?

I've had a fair few ONS in my time, one of us always stayed the night, depending on who's house it was.. pretty normal IME, who the hell wants to be getting dressed and walking / getting a taxi in the middle of the night/ early morning after sex?
Ignore 'your friends', they havent got a clue!

Yeah but did the guy pay for you to go to his house at 3 in the afternoon? I suspect this Is what the friends are getting at.

Sounds perfect to me!

And you don't want to see him again, so you definitely aced the one night stand!

They're envious.

Was the sex good?

Did you enjoy it?

If yes, then you aced it'

I couldn’t think of anything worse than having sex and leaving straight away and not having any connection or chemistry.

I would feel like a prostitute if someone paid for me to come to theirs and I left an hour later.

If that’s what people enjoy then they can carry on but for me a one night stand consists of having a great night of fun (not just sexual) and having sex at least twice.

Same! My ONS is still hanging around 8 years later and we now have a baby together 🤣

You sound impressively confident and together!