Did I do a one night stand wrong?! Getting ripped from my friends

[marrc]

My friends are currently laughing at my “failed” one night stand last night.

Very unlike me, but I met up with a guy yesterday at his place. I’ve come out of a LTR and definitely do not want a boyfriend, at all. I just wanted sex.

Anyway, he paid for me to get to his house for 3pm yesterday (friends thought the time was hilarious for some reason??), we talked for an hour or so and then had sex. After sex he said he’d like it if I stayed the night (I presume for further/morning sex). We watched a film, had sex and then spoke a bit longer. We got on well and had the same sense of humour so it wasn’t awkward or anything! Anyway, I left at around 11 this morning after staying the night (we didn’t have sex this morning, just cuddled).

friends feel I’ve done it wrong because:

1. I stayed the night? Apparently you should leave straight after the deed? (Not sure why this is weird - it’s nice to sleep next to someone and cuddle?)
2. We were laughing and talking (apparently this is “not boundaried”)
3. i arrived too early and should have gone around 10pm

Is there a rule book I’m missing out on?!? Was I a weirdo?? I thought I was being normal!

It’s your sex life you can do what you please. As long as you’re safe and feel comfortable then that’s all that matters.
You don’t need to share the details with your friends and don’t need their input or judgement - it’s not a committee.

Side note I am weirdly jealous you have the time to have daytime sex on a Monday and can leave late on Tuesday 😄

Or more likely because she finds it easy to relate and feel comfortable with people than her nasty friends.

They are jealous OP, simple as that. There is a big difference between a concerned friend and a jealous one trying to put you down.

Your friends sound like total twats tbh

Ive had one night stands last all weekend, I have also had one night stands that have lasted a couple or hours. It is a figure of speech and as long as you are happy with how it all turned out then it really isnt anyone elses business. There are no rules. Also boundaries foisted on you by your friends are not your boundaries.
Is there something in the water these days that people have to overthink absolutely everything??

Sounds like a short lived ‘friends with benefits’ situation. You did fine. Your friends do it their way (yours sounds better and more respectful/fun for both of you)

I don’t know where your friends are coming from tbh, if you got on well what’s the harm. Maybe they think you’ll catch feelings from spending time together when you’re not having sex? However, if you’re clear it’s only sex you want, I’d have thought it’s a big plus if you can actually enjoy one another’s company too.

Why are you even discussing the details with your friends ... sounds like teenagers comparing their latest date ...

What do you mean, he paid for you to get to his house? Had you ever met this guy before or he just got your number from somewhere and demanded you turn up to his place? I'm not sure that is my definition of a one-night stand, regardless of the time of day.

Im surprised you went to a complete strangers house for sex. Did you not feel this was potentially risky ? You're potentially putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

It sounds a bit too "planned" to me.

But if the sex was good then goal achieved no matter when it happened & how long it lasted!

Your friends are confusing a one night stand with a fuck buddy.

Fuck buddy - arrive late, have sex, leave. No hanging around, no chilling and cuddling.

One night stand - depends on whether you met in a club and went back or, in the way you did it, chilled together for the evening.

You did nothing wrong.

Why do your friends know so much about your sex life?

You left and don't plan to see him again, that's definitely a one night stand done right.

I tried that 15 years ago and got it very wrong. He's still here 😶

It sounds like a nice one night stand. was the sex good? The only bit that makes me a bit uneasy is paying for you to come round. I presume this means taxi fare? Though to be fair I once had a boyfriend who always expected me to go to his and I spent a fortune on taxis and felt like I was paying to have sex!

He paid?????

It doesn't sound like a typical one night stand but who cares as long as you were safe and enjoyed it.
The paying for you to get to his house is beyond weird though.

I do think the paying got you to come over is weird (basically paying for you to come over and have sex) and personally I think it’s risky to go to a blokes house you’ve never met before. Even if you tell people where you are you are potentially very vulnerable.
I don’t think you wanting to stay or chat is odd - you presumably were wanting company and human contact not just a few mins of sex.

Don't most people discuss things like this with their friends? I know I do and they do too

For a shag, it’s in the OP

Nah, I stayed over on most ONS. I might not have gotten there at 3pm, though, but theres nothing wrong in maximising potential sexy time.

😆

This is what jumped out at me. I'd feel uncomfortable at someone paying for me to come over.

Yeah in my world a ONS would probably be a bit less planned. Maybe you’d meet someone in a bar and go back to theirs and have sex. But your way sounds much more grown up and probably safer too!

I see why your friends think it’s unusual but I think they’re jealous of your confidence.

Sounds great to me.

I think in Britain the term “one night stand” is so heavily associated with drunken mistakes that the fact you planned this in the middle of the afternoon, sober (?) and the stayed for cuddles and didn’t leave with a hangover and overbearing regret has confused them…

ignore them OP, sounds like you had fun