Did I do a one night stand wrong?! Getting ripped from my friends

[marrc]

My friends are currently laughing at my “failed” one night stand last night.

Very unlike me, but I met up with a guy yesterday at his place. I’ve come out of a LTR and definitely do not want a boyfriend, at all. I just wanted sex.

Anyway, he paid for me to get to his house for 3pm yesterday (friends thought the time was hilarious for some reason??), we talked for an hour or so and then had sex. After sex he said he’d like it if I stayed the night (I presume for further/morning sex). We watched a film, had sex and then spoke a bit longer. We got on well and had the same sense of humour so it wasn’t awkward or anything! Anyway, I left at around 11 this morning after staying the night (we didn’t have sex this morning, just cuddled).

friends feel I’ve done it wrong because:

1. I stayed the night? Apparently you should leave straight after the deed? (Not sure why this is weird - it’s nice to sleep next to someone and cuddle?)
2. We were laughing and talking (apparently this is “not boundaried”)
3. i arrived too early and should have gone around 10pm

Is there a rule book I’m missing out on?!? Was I a weirdo?? I thought I was being normal!

What exactly are her friends jealous of? It's not that difficult to have a ONS if that's what you're in to.

Someone paying me to go over on a Tuesday afternoon at 3pm

🤮

Jealously?

what part of this story would make anyone jealous??

Your friends don't sound as experienced as they think they are. I've had a few ONS and would only have done them with someone I sort of know (friend of a friend) and get on well with.

Although paying for you to go to his house is a bit unusual. And meeting at 3pm is too. But who cares as long as you both enjoyed yourself?

That was initial first thought.
Just do what YOU feel comfortable doing

Did you not have sufficient money to pay for you own taxi Op?

Jealously written all over your friends OP. Hope you enjoyed the night

Why did he pay for you to get to his house?

This makes it sound a bit transactional which would make me slightly uncomfortable (although I am in my 50s, never had (or wanted) a ONS and can't imagine being jealous of sex with a near stranger especially as I shouldn't think it's that difficult to find a man willing to have no-strings sex!)

Sounds like you had exactly the evening you wanted. Who gives a shit what you call it?
There are no rules about what a date should look like.
If your friends want a quick shag at midnight, no conversation and go straight home, well that's up to them. What you did sounds much nicer in my opinion.

If you were happy and felt fine then sharing a blow by blow account with your friends immediately after is odd.
I’d be more inclined to think they were worried than jealous - being paid to go over to a man you don’t knows house for sex is escort not ons territory.
Did you have funds to get home if it had gone wrong.

I was going to say... I've had one night stands which would make people's hair stand on end they were so horrendous.

This sounds perfect: it was fun, he was respectful, you both had very clear expectations and you didn't end up getting ruinously drunk or leaving your knickers in his bed.

I find this "rulebook" approach to human relationships bizarre to: the idea that its "weird" to cuddle after a ONS or "weird" to have sex at three in the afternoon. Surely the whole point about sexual attraction and sexual relationships is exactly that they don't follow a rulebook.

I'd stop confiding in these people they sound like morons.

Yup.!

They lack the confidence to meet and have sex in day light and possibly hold a conversation.

Good for you.

I think he just paid for a taxi, which is fine.... no??

@Thepeopleversuswork

you do t think it’s weird to accept a stranger’s offer to pay for your taxi over to his mid afternoon?

If I liked someone, hadn’t met them and they made such a proposal… it would be the last communication we had!

But why did the OP? That is what I’m curious about.

Someone I have never met offer to pay for a taxi around to his…. A) I wouldn’t want to accept the money B) WTF??

Anyway, he paid for me to get to his house for 3pm yesterday

Can you clarify this bit? Do you mean he paid for a taxi?

I always associate one night stands with drunkenly going home with someone, waking up in their bed full of regret then doing the walk of shame in last night's dress whilst carrying your heels.

If you don't intend to see the guy again, I guess it is still a one night stand though. You had fun, what does it matter?

Whatever suits you and the other person is absolutely fine. Most of my casual sexual encounters/ 'relationships' involved chatting, drinking/ eating and staying the night.
It doesn't have to be a quick seedy bonk and then leg it type of situation.

And follow up question

what the heck was stopping you from paying Op?

And the other person who you’ve never met paying for to come over to his house?

Why does it matter if he paid for her a taxi? If they'd gone for a drink pre-frolic, noone would be making this fuss.

Sounds like a nice way to spend an afternoon, OP!

Because it either suggests the OP is financially vulnerable and he was leveraging that fact (they’d never even met) or well, very odd why you’d accept money from a stranger

If your son asked whether you thought he should pay for the taxi of a woman he’d never met over to his… what would you have said?

The first moment they met would have been him handing over money to pay for her taxi.

shudder

Those that who just can’t get their heads around and cant believe anyone could feel jealous of op and a good one night stand cos a long term relationship is sooooooo much better…

well, a one night stand can be exciting, really exciting! And long term relationships often boring.

Get a grip and use your imagination!

It blurs lines. He pays. She gets there doesn’t fancy it - does she pay him back?
Also if you can’t afford taxi over what if she needs to leave - she’s potentially stuck there. It makes her vulnerable.
I’d be concerned about a friend accepting money like this from a bloke she’s never met.