Did I do a one night stand wrong?! Getting ripped from my friends

[marrc]

My friends are currently laughing at my “failed” one night stand last night.

Very unlike me, but I met up with a guy yesterday at his place. I’ve come out of a LTR and definitely do not want a boyfriend, at all. I just wanted sex.

Anyway, he paid for me to get to his house for 3pm yesterday (friends thought the time was hilarious for some reason??), we talked for an hour or so and then had sex. After sex he said he’d like it if I stayed the night (I presume for further/morning sex). We watched a film, had sex and then spoke a bit longer. We got on well and had the same sense of humour so it wasn’t awkward or anything! Anyway, I left at around 11 this morning after staying the night (we didn’t have sex this morning, just cuddled).

friends feel I’ve done it wrong because:

1. I stayed the night? Apparently you should leave straight after the deed? (Not sure why this is weird - it’s nice to sleep next to someone and cuddle?)
2. We were laughing and talking (apparently this is “not boundaried”)
3. i arrived too early and should have gone around 10pm

Is there a rule book I’m missing out on?!? Was I a weirdo?? I thought I was being normal!

I don't think you did it badly, I think you did it a bit too well by ONS standards!

@WalkingOnTheCracks
Please do ;-)

Isn't the whole point of a ONS that two consenting adults do whatever they please? Your friends are the ones who are amusing imo, operating to such a strict schedule, where there are designated times and behaviours for everything. It must get very tedious for them. Perhaps setting low expectations for laughs, conversation and so on is just their way of avoiding disappointment.

How old are your friends?

Surely you can just do whatever you want, with whoever you want and it's (no offence OP) neither that exciting or cause for comments.

Whatever rules they've invented themselves about how you should act around men are presumably their own insecurities and judgements showing themselves. I really don't think it matters, as long as you've done all you need to to make sure it was a safe encounter/person.

I'd have payed for myself to go to someones house though regardless of what it was for 😆

Sounds like your mates usually get asked to leave after the deed and because he wanted you to stay they got jealous

Anyway, he paid for me to get to his house for 3pm yesterday

Did he maybe thing you were something other than a one night stand??

This is missing a bit of contextual detail which might illuminate your friends' response -- how did you know the guy? Had you met before? Because frankly, the first thing that stands out for me is that meeting a total or virtual male stranger at their house is potentially exposing you to risk, whatever time of the day or night it happens at, and regardless of the purpose of your visit.

I would also find it a bit weird that he paid for you to go to his house for sex -- I assume you mean he paid for a taxi, but again, there's some context missing? If he's a stranger, or all but a stranger to you, and if, when you got there, you decided you didn't in fact want to have sex, was there a risk that in having 'paid for you' (even if that means your transport) might have meant he pressured you into sex?

Did other people know where you were?

But assuming you'd taken basic safety precautions, enjoyed yourself and felt safe throughout, there are no ONS rules.

Your friends are being weird.

However - did you know him before? If not, I'd strongly recommend you don't let anyone pay for you to go to their place again like that - it does feel odd, like he's buying you, and it's also risky. He was obviously fine, but if he wasn't, you'd be much harder to find if there was no earlier sighting of you in his company, and no car to be left on the street, record of an Uber booking on your phone or use of your card on a bus or at a train station.

Sounds perfectly fine to me - there are no rules

It sounds pretty perfect and glad you had a great time 😊 they’re being tossers!

He 'paid' you to come at 3?

Why did he pay you? Did he give you cash or bank transfer? And how long was the payment for?

Was this an OLD meet? It sounds more FWB than the typical one night stand.

I suppose the typical ONS is going home after the pub/club and leaving before morning, doing the walk of shame shit.

I voted YABU because I thought you were asking if you are a weirdo! Definitely not 😂

How close are you to these friends?

how old are you?

If you ever do that again (with anyone) don't tell your friends

Don’t know about “failed”

but sounds thoroughly unappealing to me!!

Your friends sound like they're thinking of the prostitute/client "rules" from Pretty Woman

Your friends are weird as fuck. Especially for thinking that talking and laughing is ‘non-boundaried’. I can’t help wondering if the influence of porn, which divorces sex from human connection and companionship has caused them to have this view.

Sounds like you had a great time OP!

All that matters is that you enjoy yourself!!

Your friends are weird.

Now, to more important matters: how was it? 😉

Agreed. This was so weird, as if OP is proud some random paid to get her to his place.

I think your friends are confused between a booty call & a one nighter, but I think so long as you enjoyed it who gives a stuff what they say ! & if he calls again go back for more !

If you had a good time then you did it right!

Sounds like jealousy. Enjoy yourself as you see fit OP, both of you were happy, nobody else's business.

They're definitely jealous but I wonder why you didn't have sec in the morning