How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad

[Pink39tree]

Right going to bullet point as much as possible otherwise it’s too long:
-I’m the maid of honour that organised a hen do abroad.
-19 of us going originally was 20
-small boutique adult only resort. , we have booked 10 rooms. We were under the impression that as we had booked nearly all the rooms we would pretty much have exclusive access to the whole resort. It’s okay if we we didn’t and there were other guests there but it’s just so your aware that in terms of guests there it would be just us so hard to avoid each other
-sister in law of the bride is the typical nightmare sister in law, has made the whole process difficult
-SIL then decided she wanted to pull out AFTER WE BOOKED as she couldn’t justify spending that much on a hen do.
-She wanted her money back for the room, as she’s a difficult person who can’t get her head around the fact it’s already been paid to hotel and if we cancel the room the other person sharing her room would be without a room or we all have to pay to reimburse her
-This caused a big bust up as SIL was adamant she wanted money back, so bride took the hit and paid her sum.
-This was 4 months ago, everything settled. Now SIL has disclosed that she really doesn’t want to miss out on hen and as she couldn’t justify spending this much on a hen do so she’s combining this with her family holiday so she’s rebooked to our holiday with the brides 4 nieces and nephews that are all young and the brides future brother in law (brother of the groom)
-How can I help fix this, brides distraught she doesn’t want to let her hair loose and getting drunk while her nieces and nephews are sat in the pool watching her and her brother in law who is very conservative to see everything that’s going on.
-Additionally the brides nieces and nephews are very attached to her and so she knows they will keep coming up to her.
-Have already emailed the hotel to ask why for an adult only hotel 4 children are being allowed to stay, so far it appears that they were under the impression they were joining our big booking and as we would of then booked all available rooms for that time then it would be okay.
-Have been in contact with hotel also to ask to cancel booking because surely allowing children there is a breach of their contract of being “adult only” so far they are not budging
-If we push to have the hotel cancel their booking due to the no children rule then SIL will know it’s come from us.
help….

This. And tell SIL to find a short pier and take a long walk off it.

Could this be some sort of control / trust issue thing where the groom/ his brother want to make sure the hen party is ‘well behaved’ ?

I just want to know how SIL could have possibly reached the conclusion that bringing her uninvited children was a nice selfless thing to do for the bride!

Friend needs to stop sending her love hearts and trying to appease her. It’ll only add to her deranged self-importance.

If I were the bride I’d be having serious thoughts about whether I wanted to marry into this batshit, certainly knowing the groom is doing fuck all to support her on this one. Why isn’t he stepping in to give his brother’s head a wobble? Either directly or indirectly via parents etc?

Aside from all that drama with the ultimate combination of a lack of spine (bride/groom) and a need for control (SIL/BIL)… wasn’t the simple solution for SIL and co to simply stay nearby and her to join for the key hen do activities on her own?

Who the fuck wants the utterly tedious brother of the groom and his demented wife at their hen do??? The poor bride. I cannot understand the SIL’s thought processes at all about making it a family holiday for her. Has she never been on a hen do? Is she completely devoid of social awareness? I guess so. I can’t believe she’s have many friends.

I’ve lost track a bit, can the groom say anything to his brother?

Something like, “why the fuck are youse crashing my fiancées hen party? You’re not even coming on the stag. Why is your mental wife trying to take you and the kids??? What is actually wrong with youse all?”

But they have not been able to sort this. The kids are excluded but the SIL is still bringing her husband.

The husband clearly needs to stay home and look after his own kids. There’s no problem if he does that. Or SIL doesn’t go and they have a family holiday elsewhere.

SIL is just looking for problems

There WAS a different word - for the singular form. The SINGULAR was thou/thee ("thou" for if the other person was the subject of a sentence, "thee" for if they were the object of a sentence).

"YOU was the plural for both subject and object.

However "thee" and "thou" fell into disuse. The "you" that we use for both singular and plural was originally the PLURAL form.

We HAD different forms, and chose to discard the singular one and retain the plural form for both singular and plural.

YOU keep up!

Adding an "s" to a pronoun as you wish to do doesn't automatically pluralise it. And I can't see why it would make sense for it to be "something like yous" because it sounds similar to "vous" (when "nous" is before a vowel). Lots of words "sound similar" to other words - doesn't mean they have remotely the same meaning.

We HAD different forms, and chose to discard the singular one and retain the plural form for both singular and plural

Which imo was a mistake, which is why people use other colloquial forms. As they feel there’s a need for it. Imagine getting this het up about people pondering on the use of language 😂

Anyway, I’m not responding anymore, it’s turned from an interesting bit of discourse into you thinking you’re somehow enlightening me by telling me things I already know 🥱

I wasn't getting het up. I was commenting.

You were het up.

If there is truly a need for another word, doubtless evolution of language will take care of it - in the same way that the previous word became extinct.

Feel free not to respond.

I don't understand why the kids won't get a holiday now (according to Barmy SIL). Surely the hotel are going to refund her in full as they're cancelling? She can still use the flights and go to a different resort. She doesn't need to gatecrash a hen for them to have a holiday.

If indeed she is intending to go on the holiday as a couple I feel sorry for the husband, surely finding out you are the only male in the middle of a hen party must be many men's worst nightmare.

It’s really hard to describe clearly what the SIL is like without you knowing her, because there is stuff that she would do on paper that would sound very innocent but the more you know her you would know that’s not the case and it’s malicious/vindictive .

For example, some have suggested maybe she felt bad she couldn’t come and that’s why she tried to work around it as a devoted SIL who would never miss this occasion. That most certainly wouldn’t have been the case more so the fact she was shocked when she pulled out we didn’t all go “ahh well if SIL isn’t coming there’s no point the rest of going let’s pack that in” and her having a fear of missing out.

As far as we are aware the hotel haven’t cancelled her booking, they’ve just clarified that her children won’t be welcome.

If SIL still comes with her husband, we are not too fussed as we can tell him to his face that he’s not welcome and to go away. Would have been much much much harder to do that with the kids there as they wouldn’t understand.

This!!!!

(Am wondering which part of the north SIL is from. I am from NE and we often speak as she has phonetically written)

I think you can’t ignore the BiL planning to bet here, they are bound to cause problems for you all (yous) Why isn’t the groom telling his DB to butt out?

@Pink39tree
A hen party is not usually suitable for children, unless it's a family friendly version.
What the pickle ? @Pink39tree

Or he's a perv and can't wait to ogle!

I don't understand why the groom doesn't call his brother and ask him WTF is he and his wife playing at?

Why the hell BIL would want to go on a hen holiday is beyond me.

There's nothing more uncomfortable than being somewhere you are clearly not wanted.

I'd question what he's been told about all this by SIL which might be an additional reason she's pissed off, because she's told her family that everyone wants them there.

Fundamentally she's just selfish and deluded. It's not her place to invite other people to someone else's event.

Shocked by what I have just read. The entitlement of some people!! Unbelievable
The poor bride. Why is she so nice ?!

Your latest uploads are incredibly blurry and impossible to read. Is there a way you can upload clearer versions?

What device are you using, I can read them OK on my phone, the bride is being very polite, probably more so that I would be in the same situation

Agree. Either the hotel cancels their booking and loses the cost of a family or yours and loses more money.

Bride's groom should step in here.

@Pink39tree Is there a reason why the groom hasn’t sorted this shitshow out?

If I were the bride I would be re thinking my marriage if he had left it all to me.

This!

I can't believe that CFs like this exist. Who in their right mind would think taking kids on a hen do abroad is a good idea? To an adults on resort? The mind boggles.

I'd bet my money on SILs DH not even knowing that the hotel is meant to be adults only, and/or she's told him everyone wants him and the kids there. He'd be an idiot to believe that, but still, it's a possibility I suppose. Either way she's projecting the blame because she's knows that she's being massively unreasonable.