Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being too uptight?

137 replies

SeptemberWeGotFire · 27/03/2023 23:11

I’m planning a night for a couple of friends at mine, food and drink etc. it’ll kind of be an all day thing.

Friend has said she has to bring her dog. I really don’t want her too, my house is very white and it’s a puppy (maybe just under 1) and so I’m worried it’ll get overexcite. Also I hate the thought of it shitting in my garden and her bagging it up to leave in my dustbin.

I know I probably sound awful and uptight and please don’t think I’m screaming at people to use coasters or to not have liquids near the white sofa.

OP posts:
MotherHaryy · 27/03/2023 23:31

Nope, I have a no dog rule in my house and no white anywhere😂

TomatoSandwiches · 27/03/2023 23:35

It's your house, if you don't want a dog in it then tell her, she can decide what to do about that.

LoveQuinnOhDearyMe · 27/03/2023 23:37

My house isn’t white and certainly not an Instagram photo house…..but I still don’t want dogs in! Cousin arrived with her dog once (didn’t ask or warn) and it scuffed up my sofa in a couple of places and I just smelt that dog whiff which I hate…..and yep poop poopbags in my bin.

It’s not on to expect people to allow dogs in.

johsq20 · 27/03/2023 23:39

Not unreasonable at all - I'd say no too.

tealandteal · 27/03/2023 23:41

It’s your house, if you don’t want a dog there for any reason then say so. Be prepared she may not be able to come. I have two dogs but I’m not sure I’d want a puppy here again.

Ashleighz88 · 27/03/2023 23:41

I wouldn't bother having anyone around tbh, I have a friend like this about her "perfect white livingroom" and honestly we all agreed to avoid planning nights at hers, you simply cannot relax and enjoy the night because you are worrying about spilling something or accidentally ruining something, it's not enjoyable.

CambsAlways · 27/03/2023 23:42

No way! It wouldn’t be happening at my house

BitOutOfPractice · 27/03/2023 23:42

Nope. No dogs here either thanks.

Boomboom22 · 27/03/2023 23:43

It's not normal to bring your pet with you to other people's houses. Absolutely no way!

Branster · 27/03/2023 23:49

I have dogs and don't mind visiting dogs but, in your shoes, I'd ask the friend not to bring her puppy. It would be an absolute nightmare and you wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy the day.
Friend might not be able to stay for long if she hasn't got puppy care at home. I think that's what the problem is.
A bit rude of her to invite the puppy over.
I would never take my dogs to other houses unless the host specifically said I could.

Thisismeyeah · 27/03/2023 23:53

I have a dog and wouldn't want a visitors dog all day. Just say no dogs sorry, say you are mildly allergic so you are fine visiting people with dogs but wouldnt welcome them into your home as you have to live in it and if you get a reaction there is no escape.

SkankingWombat · 27/03/2023 23:56

At least she's giving you a heads up and chance to say no... unlike one of our recent guests who just showed up with a 'whoops, sorry I forgot to ask about the dog!'

It is utterly reasonable to say no, white walls or not, although as others have said, be prepared that she may not come as a result. We have pets that are not dog-compatible plus a DC who is terrified of even the smallest, fluffiest, friendliest dogs (a result of one too many 'don't worry, he's friendly' types flattening her with their unsolicited enthusiasm and lack of training), so it would be a hard no from me too.

TheCentreSlide · 27/03/2023 23:56

Say no. This is what it means to be clear with your boundaries and not be apologetic.

You could say that you’d love to go for a walk and a coffee somewhere with her and pup another day but this isn’t the event for a puppy and you don’t feel comfortable with it being in the house all day.

Be firm. (And I love dogs)!

NotABeliever · 27/03/2023 23:58

Thisismeyeah · 27/03/2023 23:53

I have a dog and wouldn't want a visitors dog all day. Just say no dogs sorry, say you are mildly allergic so you are fine visiting people with dogs but wouldnt welcome them into your home as you have to live in it and if you get a reaction there is no escape.

Why would OP need to lie about having an allergy? There's no need for that. She can just say the puppy would not fit in with the plans she has for the day and can she please leave her/him with someone?

CryHavok · 27/03/2023 23:58

YANBU but expect screeching from your friend, dog nutters are pretty unreasonable.

HyancinthsAndTulips · 28/03/2023 00:02

I also have a very white house and some fairly high-end antiques but wouldn‘t mind a puppy at all if it was reasonably well behaved and the friend could be trusted to look after it properly. We do have hardwood floors, though. Might feel differently with light carpets. We have two very lively, naughty kittens and they haven‘t really damaged anything yet but I‘m also not super precious about my things and can see that others might have higher standards. That’s perfectly fine, each to their own, though it can feel a bit inhospitable to guests if taken to the extreme.

The bit about the dog pooing in your garden / a poo bag in your bin does sound ridiculously precious to me. There will be plenty of wild animals doing their business in your garden without anyone picking up after them. I also don‘t see how a bag of dog poo is worse than a dirty nappy, for example.

Kanaloa · 28/03/2023 00:02

The dog wasn’t invited. It’s rude to think you can bring your uninvited dog to somebody’s house. I would just say no it’s no dogs.

GulfCoastBeachGirl · 28/03/2023 00:04

Boomboom22 · 27/03/2023 23:43

It's not normal to bring your pet with you to other people's houses. Absolutely no way!

This! I'm a dog lover but wouldn't dream of bringing my pet to someone's house uninvited. Very odd.

I would tell her that it's just not going to work out having a puppy under foot all day. If she can't come then so be it.

JudgeRudy · 28/03/2023 00:04

You don't sound uptight. I have a cream sofa. I use coasters. I don't have dogs in my house. If my sofa was brown and carpet was threadbare, I'm not having dogs in my house. She can't come.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/03/2023 00:06

Not a chance. No one is permitted to bring their dog into my home.

You need to set her straight immediate.

Blossomtoes · 28/03/2023 00:07

The bit about the dog pooing in your garden / a poo bag in your bin does sound ridiculously precious to me. There will be plenty of wild animals doing their business in your garden without anyone picking up after them. I also don‘t see how a bag of dog poo is worse than a dirty nappy, for example.

This. Of all the perfectly valid reasons for not wanting a visiting dog, this definitely isn’t one.

Aweebitpainful · 28/03/2023 00:09

Just tell her that. She might not be able to stay as long though but that's what happens when you have a puppy.

I love my dog. I don't expect everyone else to love her though!

DigleyAndDazey · 28/03/2023 00:17

HyancinthsAndTulips · 28/03/2023 00:02

I also have a very white house and some fairly high-end antiques but wouldn‘t mind a puppy at all if it was reasonably well behaved and the friend could be trusted to look after it properly. We do have hardwood floors, though. Might feel differently with light carpets. We have two very lively, naughty kittens and they haven‘t really damaged anything yet but I‘m also not super precious about my things and can see that others might have higher standards. That’s perfectly fine, each to their own, though it can feel a bit inhospitable to guests if taken to the extreme.

The bit about the dog pooing in your garden / a poo bag in your bin does sound ridiculously precious to me. There will be plenty of wild animals doing their business in your garden without anyone picking up after them. I also don‘t see how a bag of dog poo is worse than a dirty nappy, for example.

Dog shit absolutely stinks and is a risk for toxoplasmosis which isn't the case for baby poo.

HyancinthsAndTulips · 28/03/2023 00:46

Baby poo also absolutely stinks and there‘s zero risk of toxoplasmosis if the poo is properly bagged up and people practice decent hand hygiene. Wild animals also do their business in OP‘s garden - she just won‘t know where and nobody will come to bag it up. If you‘re this squeamish about nature, it‘s probably best to live somewhere without a garden and never leave the house again.

GneissWork · 28/03/2023 00:49

Thisismeyeah · 27/03/2023 23:53

I have a dog and wouldn't want a visitors dog all day. Just say no dogs sorry, say you are mildly allergic so you are fine visiting people with dogs but wouldnt welcome them into your home as you have to live in it and if you get a reaction there is no escape.

This.

I have a dog who I like in my home.

I do not want anyone else’s dog in my home (except my in laws dog because he’s effectively my brother in law 😂)

I am joking by the way- I do not refer to my in laws dog as my brother in law.