Am I being too uptight?

[SeptemberWeGotFire]

I’m planning a night for a couple of friends at mine, food and drink etc. it’ll kind of be an all day thing.

Friend has said she has to bring her dog. I really don’t want her too, my house is very white and it’s a puppy (maybe just under 1) and so I’m worried it’ll get overexcite. Also I hate the thought of it shitting in my garden and her bagging it up to leave in my dustbin.

I know I probably sound awful and uptight and please don’t think I’m screaming at people to use coasters or to not have liquids near the white sofa.

Because psychopaths like you immediately interpret "not wanting a random dog in my house when trying to throw a party" as "dog haters"

Dogs are fine. Obsessive dog lovers are weirdos.

If someone posted that they didn't like pet fish or spinach people would just accept it as a normal variance. But not liking dogs (which is not the same as hating!) is somehow enough to make you a "miserable" and "non decent" person!

Op just tell her. If she doesn't come then that's her decision. I don't understand- surely she realises that if everyone bought their random dog/cat/snake/baby/toddler/elderly parent (anything/one they don't want to leave alone) your house would be chaos and the party youve planned untenable so why does she think she's the exception?

Ask her if she has a gate as obviously it will have to stay in your kitchen...
Really you don't need to accommodate it but maybe be pleased leaving a dpuppy alone isn't her plan either..

Totally agree

I have a dog but do not think you are being at all unreasonable.

I would never presume to bring my dog to someones house.

I’m not anti dog at all and considered having one at one point but I travel two days a week so it’s not fair.

But my dog is my house is my choice. A dog I’m responsible for and if it damaged my house then that’s on me. A dog I have no control over then I don’t want in my house. I’ve seen videos of her puppy and she’s extremely hyper, allowed on all the furniture etc.

Now after giving it thought I don’t think it’s fair of her to give Ben suggest it.

I don’t want a dog in my kitchen all day.

Whilst I would never want an animal left alone longer than it should be, that’s not my problem and it comes with the territory that if you have a dog YOU have to make sacrifices as an adult that shouldn’t impact others.

Your house, your rules. She'll make her decision based on it. Is she saying 'if i were to come, i'd have to bring my dog...' as thats fair enough; effectively she's asking - i.e. its the only way she could come.

Contrary to someone else's suggestion here, dog people arent unreasonable.

Very unusual of her to expect to bring her dog - it would be different if you were going for a walk and to the pub or something, but not in your own house.

I don't let anyone bring any animals in my house even for a second. If your friend feels entitled to, she's a twat. No harm in her asking though as long as she accepts your unequivocal No.

I like dogs. I would like a dog to come and visit. But I am not OP and my house is not OPs house. By the sounds of it, this is a rambunctious still-puppy dog and I think OP is perfectly within her rights to say no, he cannot come. I don't think it was unreasoanable of her to ask, as I say, I would love it. I do appreciate it probably makes it feel awkward to say no though.

No way, a hyper puppy in an unfamiliar environment with loads of people will be a total pain in the arse. And I love dogs. But you won’t be able to relax/chat/catch up properly. YANBU.

Can she get a dog sitter for the day, does she have a partner at home could leave the dog with?

I think it’s fair to say no but she’s right, she can’t leave a puppy for that length of time. The obvious solution is to change to someone else’s house who doesn’t mind the dog or have it at hers. No biggie.

YANBU at all - dogs and smoking are two things that are absolutely not welcome in my house.

It is valid if she doesn't want that. I wouldn't either. Your opinion that it is stupid is perfectly valid as well.

How is it rude? Rude would be just turning up with a dog. She had mentioned it so OP can say no if she wants.

psychopath 😂what are you on about? Do you know what psychopath means? Christ.

I disagree. The OP can't be expected to accommodate every single guest's various child care/pet care/elder care needs.

If the guest has to shorten her visit to get home to the dog what's the big deal? That's how it is sometimes when you have small children and/or pets.

I might write the same opening post but substitute children for dogs. Fortunately none of my friends have kids so it's not an issue.

On the other hand I have no problem if anyone wants to put a poop bag in my outdoor bin. I couldn't care less if a stranger did (we get a lot of dog walkers going by) as it would be tidier than dumping them in the hedge in front of our house as someone has done a couple of times. Dog forbid I ever catch them.

You’re perfectly within your rights to say that you don’t want the dog in the house, and your friend is perfectly within their rights to say that means they won’t be able to come.

I feel you may have misunderstood friend.
Maybe she’s not saying ‘I’m bringing the dog’ but ‘I can only come if I can bring the dog’.
Ive occasionally had to do this with my children 😂.
You may find if you say no she will be absolutely fine with it just unable to come.
Thats how I would feel in the same situation with my children 🤷🏼‍♀️

Not unreasonable. In fact it's unreasonable to expect to take a dog when visiting friends. You wouldn't take a pig or a goat and it's much the same thing.

My house is certainly not white, which I regard as a very uncosy scheme for an interior. But I do have plenty of antiques and ornaments, nice rugs and so on, and wouldn't want a dog (or cat, parrot, monkey etc) anywhere near them.

Dogs are awful. If they get excited and wee on your carpet that won't be fun.
In your house there's no such thing as too uptight. That's your sanctuary, your home.

No kids? No rabbits? No shoes?

It's all completely up to you. The one thing we have to ourselves is our home.

It’s perfectly ok to say No, but it probably means she won’t come.

We don’t allow dogs at ours as we have free ranging hens, cats that don’t like dogs and a young child and I accept that it means one family member can’t visit us (we go to them).

I don’t visit people with pristine white home decor though either. Too stressful.

No YANBU. I wouldn’t want a dog round. Just because I don’t really like them, always been a bit scared of them. My sister takes hers everywhere with her but thankfully not my house because I have cats and the dog would go mental.